When I got home and George went back to work, I called Elsie and Leah down to tell them what I had decided.
"What's that?" Elsie asked when she walked down the stairs to see me with all of their stuff in the entrance hall.
"Come sit." I told her, my eyes moving to Leah who came walking not far behind Elsie, her arms folded over her chest.
"That's our stuff." Leah said. "It's supposed to be at dads house."
I nodded.
"Yeah I know."
Leah stopped at the end of the stairs, staring at me as if she realised what was going on, then she shook her head.
"No. That isn't happening."
"Leah, sit down please."
"Why?" She asked. "Why should I? So you can tell us that we can't see dad anymore? I'm not stupid! Why else would our stuff be here?!"
"Is that true?" Elsie asked, causing me to sigh.
"Yes." I said. "I went and I talked to him. Right now, he's sober but—"
"We all know that won't last." Elsie scoffed and leaned back on the sofa where she sat. "He's a raging alcoholic. He doesn't care about us. He just cares about his alcohol."
"That's a lie." Leah said. "Dad loves us. Stop being a bitch!"
Elsie let out a sarcastic laugh at Leah's comment.
"Leah!" I shouted. "I want you to quit that language. Apologise to Elsie."
"Elenora." Elsie corrected me and I glanced at her with a tired expression, causing her to hold up her hands in surrender. "Elsie is fine..."
"I'm not apologising. You are both leaving dad behind when he needs us the most!" Leah yelled.
I was so tired. Fucking exhausted. I couldn't keep having this fight with her.
"Sit down."
"No."
"Leah!" I yelled. "Sit down!"
The room went quiet and both Leah and Elsie looked at me.
"Fine." I laughed. "Don't sit down."
"Mum... are you alright?" Elsie asked.
"Leah..." I breathed, looking at my eleven-year-old daughter. "...I understand how hurtful this whole situation is for you, but the way you have treated me and George today is unacceptable. First you beg me to go back to your father, well knowing how he's treated me in the past. Then you yell at George and treat him like garbage when he has taken you in and treated you better than your own dad has, then you tell me you want me to die and now you call Elsie a bitch? Apologise!"
Leah looked at me for a minute, her face completely changing.
She went from angry to almost sad as she turned to Elsie.
"I'm sorry I called you a bitch."
"Thank you." Elsie nodded before Leah looked at me again.
"Leah, I know how difficult this is for you and I know you don't want to lose your dad, but he is going to hurt you over and over again." I said. "I want what's best for you."
"How do you know what's best for me?" She asked. "You only care about you and your new little family."
"That is not true..."
"New?" Elsie asked. "Her and dad— George have been married for the past six years. It isn't exactly new."
"Dad?" Leah asked. "He isn't your dad! He isn't dad!"
"No, you're right. He's better than dad." Elsie nodded. "Dad is manipulative, he's violent and he prefer his alcohol over us. George has been there for us from the moment he entered our lives and he loves mum more than anything. Stop being an ungrateful brat for a moment, will you?"
"Elsie..." I said. "...can you leave Leah and I alone for a moment?"
Elsie scoffed but stood up and grabbed her stuff from the floor before walking upstairs.
Leah walked over to sit down on the sofa that I sat on, sitting as far away from me as possible.
"It really hurt, what you said." I told her. "I'm your mother. I love you more than you realise. Imagine if I told you the exact same thing."
Leah didn't answer, but looked away, her arms folded over her chest.
"Leah."
"I don't care."
I took a deep breath.
"Well I'm sorry that you feel that way." I said. "Go unpack your things."
Leah stood up and grabbed her bags before she marched upstairs.
I stayed on the sofa, turning my head to look out of the window as I teared up.
My daughter wanted me dead.
The sound of footsteps running across the floor, caused me to quickly wipe my eyes and turn my attention on Amelia who came running into the entrance hall, making her way towards me.
"Hi baby!" I smiled enthusiastically, pulling her up on my lap before she threw her arms around my neck. "What's up with you?"
"I've missed you."
"Yeah?" I asked, brushing my fingers through her hair. "I've missed you too."
"Did Leah get a wand?" She asked and pulled away to look at me.
"She did." I smiled. "A white one."
"I want a pink one." She said. "Do they have pink ones?"
"I don't think they do, sweetheart." I said. "Unfortunately, you don't get to choose your own wand. The wand chooses you."
Amelia rolled her eyes, causing me to chuckle.
"Your wand is black, mama." She said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Daddys is brown."
I brushed my hand over her hair as Amelia then crawled off of me to sit next to me.
"Why are you sad?" She asked, resting her head against my arm, and I lifted it to wrap it around her.
"I just had a small fight with Leah." I told her. "But you've already brightened my mood a lot."
"Have I?"
She looked up at me and I nodded at her, smiling weakly before my attention was caught by the front door opening.
George stepped on, closing the door behind him.
"Daddy!" Amelia yelled, sliding off the sofa. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
I watched as George had to drop his things to catch Amelia who threw herself into his arms.
He laughed as he picked her up, hugging her.
I rested my elbow on the back of the sofa, watching them interact while George pushed off his shoes.
He was smiling at Amelia who went on and on about her day, telling him every single detail.
George walked over to the sofa to place Amelia down and she immediately got up on her knees, continuing to explain her day while he stood behind the sofa, leaning on it with his hands.
I brushed my hand over his arm, needing his comfort right now. I just needed him.
Today had been horrible.
When Amelia stopped explaining her day to him, she moved closer to me and laid down with her head on my lap.
"So you've had a nice day, I'm guessing?" George asked, and Amelia nodded.
"The best."
He chuckled before he looked at me and his smile faded.
"Are you okay?" He asked in a whisper, bringing a hand up to brush a lock of my hair behind my ear.
I shrugged.
"Not really."
