After Nadine left, I spent the afternoon in the first living room, reading a book while George was playing with the twins in the second living room.
I had spent a few hours playing with them too, but the air between George and I were cold so I excused myself to get some reading time.
Though when I could hear footsteps, followed by a heavy breathing close by, I knew that George was in the doorway, looking at me.
I glanced at him to see him lean against the doorframe, his eyes glued to me as I turned the page.
"You aren't mad at me." He said, his voice soft, yet stern at the same time.
"Who are you to decide what I am?"
"Dahlia." He chuckled. "You're not mad at me. You've forced yourself to be, simply because you didn't have the time to scold me when it happened."
He pushed himself away from the doorframe, approaching me where I sat on the sofa.
"Why don't we talk about it?" He asked. "Like the adults we are... instead of yelling at each other as if we were fucking teenagers."
I slammed the book shut and looked up at him as he placed himself in front of me.
"I can tell you're not actually mad." He laughed. "Your jaw isn't clenched. You clench it when you're really pissed."
I sighed.
"I'm going down to the ministry tomorrow." I told him, deciding to change the subject, and George raised his eyebrows at me.
"Why?"
"To tell Malcolm's lawyer than I'm settling."
George slowly folded his arms over his chest and as I stared at him, he pushed his tongue into his cheek.
"You still want to settle?" He asked. "You do realise that Malcolm will have custody of them again."
I nodded.
"Listen, he never laid a hand on them. If he really is staying sober this time and working on himself, maybe he can fix his relationship to Elsie and Leah."
"We both know who Elsie refer to as dad."
"Yes." I nodded. "And of Elsie is completely done with him, that's fine. It is up to her if she wants to see her dad but Leah always gets a say. She obviously wants him in her life so I was wrong for cutting him out."
George shook his head, taking a step back.
"No you weren't." He said, inhaling sharply. "I can't believe you're actually giving up."
"Giving up?!" I raised my voice. "I am doing what I think is best! If I allow him to take this to court, I am going to lose Leah! This way I still get to be her mother!"
I struggled to pull myself off the sofa, making my way towards the door when George's voice stopped me.
"I deserve a say."
With a laugh, I turned around.
"George, I love you and I know how much you care about Leah."
"I don't just care for her. I love her the same as I love the rest of our kids." He said. "I want what's best for her and I don't want her first heartbreak to be from her own father."
"I don't either! But George, you don't have custody of her. I know you want a say, but this is up to me. It's my decision and I'm doing the best I can to make sure we don't lose her." I said. "And as far as I'm concerned, we have two options. Either we settle and I share custody with Malcolm. That way I still get to see her, or two... we go to court, he wins and I won't be able to protect her."
"And what if you win?"
"I won't. Malcolm will pay them off to raise their hand at the mention of his name." I said. "I know him too well."
"Well, have you maybe considered that I'm suing you for custody is a way to trick you into willingly giving it to you?"
I nodded at him, looking down at my hands.
"I know that's what he's doing, and he's winning." I said. "But I'd rather share custody with him than lose it. I don't want Leah to be left in his care all alone."
"I don't want that either but—"
"There is no buts." I sighed. "Just drop it, George. I'm going down there to announce it tomorrow. End of discussion."
I walked out of the living room and into the other living room where the twins were playing with some toys in the floor, completely ignoring me as I walked in and sat of the sofa.
Earlier when they woke up from their nap, they saw me and they had hugged me for such a long time, telling me over and over again how much they had missed me.
I had missed them too. So much that it was unbearable.
"Dia—" George showed up in the room and sat down next to me, sighing. "...I know this is the safest choice. I'm just scared to have him this involved in our lives again."
"He was involved before."
"Yes, but to a certain point. If you share custody again, we'll be seeing him a lot." He said, and I took a deep breath before resting my head on George's shoulder. "He has hurt you too many times. You've been divorced for nine years and he hasn't stopped. He slips in, gets drunk and when you try and help him, he hurts you."
I didn't answer.
George was right. So many years had passed but Malcolm was the same.
"But he's never laid a hand on the girls."
"And hopefully he won't."
"He won't." I said quickly. "He may have taken his anger out on me in the past, but never would he physically harm them."
"But mentally he would..."
I bit down on my lip, once again deciding not to answer him.
"He tried to see you at the hospital." George spoke and I immediately lifted my head off his shoulder to look at him.
"What?"
"He wanted to see you. He came a few days after it happened, as soon as he heard about it. He wanted to see you but I told him I wouldn't allow it, plus... no one but me were allowed."
"How did they allow him into the hospital?"
"He told them that he was the husband." George scoffed at the thought. "I met him outside of your room. I almost punched him."
I sighed and moved a little away from him on the sofa.
"You should've told me he was there."
George looked at me and shook his head before he looked at the twins again, and then I looked at him.
His expression didn't say anything. He was emotionless as he thought back to that day.
"No, I shouldn't have."
I laughed out of anger, gritting my teeth as I stared at him.
"You would've been upset, wouldn't you?" He asked and looked at me. "Like you are now?"
"Yes." I told him honestly, his eyes locking with mine.
"Then no. I shouldn't have told you."
