Lately, it feels like day to day is a struggle now
It's difficult to feel any other emotions besides sadness, or frustration
And bringing that upbeat attitude drains away more of my energy each day
I'm definitely struggling and it shows
I feel almost apathetic now, as I live day to day
It's as if nothing I do it right anymore
It's just all feeling like one screw up after another.
It almost reads as numb, in my mind when I think of what to feel
Suddenly, everyone is a doctor when I feel ill
Chronic headaches, mixed with an uncertain anxiety
Makes for an easy to diagnose issue from everyone but a doctor
But no, it's my diet
It's how much I exercise
It's the stress that I bring on myself of course
I am struggling, mentally
And it seems likes I cannot even find the time or the space to cry
Besides, even if I did, no tears would fall
It's as if my body won't even give me the energy for that anymore.
But it's as if there two competing sides to what spends my energy now
The side that says don't give in, and other to relish the moment I do
It would be so easy, to give in and to let my frustrations run free
But the guilt and the anguish that follows would be my consequence
It's not hard to see which side is more tired, more ready to concede
It's almost a point of misery I am bound by.
We're two years into a pandemic, and there is still surprise when people get ill because they didn't wear a mask, or were in a giant crowd
It would be a comedy if it wasn't so pathetic
I just want to crawl under a rock and drift away
Just to know what it's like
To finally not worry all the time
