I think I'd still want to smile
Maybe I'd even laugh
That I know I'm happier now
Part of me wishes I wasn't
But we both know, we aren't any good for each other.
Your name is still etched on my heart.
I'd still take you back, even if that sounds like a fever dream
If you were in front of me right now
I think I'd still give you a hug
Maybe even a kiss on your forehead
Not as a please let's try again
But as an I miss you
I feel the breath in my lungs for what feels like the first time.
I've laughed harder and smiled wider, and it's without you
Part of me still wants to share all of it with you
And I think that's okay
I want to tell you so that I did it, that I found purpose in life again
I want to share that joy with you
But I know I can't, and that I shouldn't
Because it all happened because of you.
It was a push I didn't know I needed.
It was a push I didn't know I wanted.
I'm not sure whether to thank you, or wish you hadn't
Because I know what I deserve now
And it's not you as you were
And most likely not as you will be
You'll move on, it's not a matter of if, but when.
You were wanting flings, two weeks after we parted ways.
I want to be bitter, but I'd call it karma, for how I treated you
I know I hurt you, and this was my wake up call
So when you're lying in your bed, with what may be another warm body that isn't me
I still wish you happiness, I still wish you kindness be given
The tears may chase you a little longer than I will now.
And maybe the smiles will too.
But as I continue to see the sunrise
And continue to see it set
There will now be a time without you
Even if I didn't want it
It's here to stay.
And it's a lesson I learned the hard way.
Wherever life takes you, darling.
I hope it's on a better path.
Signed,
Your once sugar bear, and darling.
