We passed the day, we were supposed to check in
But I know we weren't going to talk anymore
Fading like paint on an aging house
I still wonder about you
And I know I shouldn't
I'm beginning to forget, but it still feels like I knew every moment like it was etched into my skin
I'm still spilling tears for you
And I know I shouldn't
I still speak so fondly of you, like you still have love for me
I still wish I could share all of these memories with you
As bad as this tore me to pieces
I still don't feel bitter
I'm still waiting for that phone call
And I know I shouldn't
What has knowing anything ever gotten me?
It's knowing the solution to the puzzle
And still wishing there was another way forward
I'm watching the hurt flow into letters that become words
Wishing they'd stay there, frozen in time
But just as soon as I write them, they become epitaphs to what I felt
They will remind me, if I ever choose to visit their prison
And I know I shouldn't
But I also know what I should do
And that's keeping the space I have in my heart for you as a memory, not a burden
Because I know how it ended, I know how it all fell apart
And despite it all
I still wish you well, I still want you to be okay
Because that hole in my heart, will remind me why I can't go back
Even if I wish it didn't
You aren't spending anytime, shedding tears over this anymore
I know it all too well
It's why these tears burn hotter than they did before
They're thorns that dig into my cheeks
Reminding me that each tear I continue to lose, is just another I waste in vain
I continue anyways.
And I know I shouldn't
I feel the wound closing
As it continues to bleed
I continue to see pieces of you
Parts that made me smile and think of you
And I know I shouldn't
