We are among one of the most uncertain places right now
As the world falls further into chaos
And now we're left wondering if you're going to be okay
I am worried, standing in front of the cliff, not knowing to look down or up in the hopes you will be magically be deemed healthy again
There was a part of me that was always angry that you never listened to me the way I wanted you to
And yet, these past few weeks have been so much better because I finally opened up to you
And you finally understood me, the way I wanted to be heard.
There was so much that I needed to get off my chest, what I was struggling with
And you finally listened in the way I needed you to
So now, as you lay there in a hospital room to the rhythm of monitors and heartbeats
There will only ever be a gratitude in my own way-how we finally got to talk about things I'd held in for years
Dear father, I will not grieve you, I will celebrate you no matter the outcome
And I must write this now, or I risk losing my composure
But all those years spent butting heads, all those times spent arguing
Perhaps it was meant to lead to clarity eventually
In that I may not have been the dream you had, the ideals that you held so exactly
But I was, I am what life intended
You speak of your legacy, and what you may leave
But I will remember how you spoke so frequently of your desires
So readily on what may have been your calling
But as a father, your calling was such
To show me what you never had, to give me what you always found lacking
You did your best, I will acknowledge that for certain
And if it's finally time to pull the curtain
Then know I love you, and will remember the words you've given me
And may I ever have your hand on, on my shoulder.
