We're all so eager to fly, and escape from our cages
But it feels like a burning rush of air hits our lungs, and we're left breathless
So ready to be on our own, even with broken bones and egos bruised
It's just some twisted joke, walking into a world of failures we'd not known
And yet to cram our contorted sense of self back into a metal prison
It's as if we'd learn by suffering, or not at all
But what is suffering if not a lesson with pain
That to overcome, we must first endure
Feeling the wounds of a bruised ego
And the clawing of desperation in the soul
And yet we are no better from it, of it or for it
But we've made our choices, and set in motion our consequences
Now I wonder if they'll ever be something of substance, between the sand piles I fail to hold between my palms
The pressure feels tighter with each passing breath
Knowing that, and still choosing to breathe
It begs to answer the question of why
Whether it be out of ignorance, or desperation
Perhaps it is both, but it wouldn't matter
I would sooner spit my teeth to the side, blood dripping down my lips
Then let them think you'd ever win
I would look death in the eyes when it has it's hand, firmly wrapped around my throat, and I'd spit right in them
It's no longer bravery, but a survivalist's act of defiance
My fists will tighten, and perhaps my knees will weaken
But I will use my last breaths to curse the wind, and scream a fleeting memory
That I was no longer what I am
That I am no more than I will be
That I will be no less that what there is to come
And God, if you're out there, listening, if you happen to exist
I will not bow my head in reverence, but in anger
Anger for the suffering I had been born to witness
Not for me, but for them
All the voices that I have heard cut short
And the ones too strained to hear in all but pain
I am but a fool, with a stubborn,hot headed desire
To continue drudging my legs, my arms in cadence
And if hell is real, I have seen it
I have seen angels be dammed, I have seen devils rejoice
And if at the gates I see from the inside, out I will know why
All of this, what is for, a punishment for seeking the eden of my own design
I will be in defiance, I will give in to the demon's I fought so hard to restrain
Because I was not destined to fight them, but join them
I will listen to their wisdom, perhaps their dogma
If that will bring me what I so clearly crave
The peace of a soul left behind, in the wake of a new kind of suffering
