My Destination, My Bondita

36 - Sleeping Arrangements

That night, while Bondita was reading books in Anirudh's study, Anirudh noticed that it was getting late. 

"Bondita, are you tired?" he asked her, and she nodded, rubbing her eyes. 

"Go to bed then," he told her. 

Bondita closed the book and put it away. She hesitated before making any movements towards the door. 

"What's wrong Bondita?" he asked. 

"Pati Babu, do I go to bed in my own room?" she asked softly. 

"Yes, where else will you sleep?" Anirudh asked, confused, looking up from his own book. 

"Nevermind," Bondita said, feeling her cheeks flush. 

She didn't know why she suddenly felt shy to mention that she wanted to sleep in his bed with him.

Before Anirudh could process what was going on, she had run out of the study, upstairs towards her own room. With a small laugh, he continued to read his book. She always did cute antics like this, and he never knew what to make of them. 

Later that night, Anirudh went to his own bedroom and tried to sleep on a new bed that had been waiting for him there. His old bed had been replaced because he and Bondita had broken it. 

As Anirudh tossed and turned for many hours, he realized he couldn't sleep. 

He had gotten so used to sleeping with Bondita that he was having a difficult time falling asleep now. 

Anirudh glanced at the time. 

It was one in the early hours of the morning. 

He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes, frowning. 

Why couldn't he sleep without her? He was tired, but his body just wasn't allowing him to sleep. 

Was this also what she seemed confused about earlier when she asked him if she should sleep in her own room? Was she able to sleep without him? 

If they slept in one room together, it would fuel Kaka's personal agenda again, and Anirudh couldn't have that... but he also couldn't sleep. It felt so empty sleeping without Bondita. He knew that it wasn't impossible -- it would take some getting used to, but he would be able to manage sleeping alone.

"But is there a need to manage?" Anirudh debated to himself. "Why can't I sleep with her? Why should I be afraid of what Kaka says?" 

For Bondita's fragile mind, he was afraid. However, he also was having a hard time keeping himself in control right now. 

He slowly sneaked out of his room towards Bondita's room. He tapped on the door lightly first, but there was no response, so he opened it gently. 

It was completely dark. 

After quietly closing the door, Anirudh tiptoed towards her bed and gently touched her hair. She was fast asleep. With a small smile on his face, he got in bed beside her. 

"Bondita, it's me," he whispered. 

"Pati Babu?" she mumbled in her sleep, and wrapped her arm around him, placing her head on his chest. 

Anirudh smiled and held her to him happily, closing his eyes. 

Why was this so blissful to him? Bondita was a growing woman, yet sharing a bed with her was something that didn't scare him, but rather brought him peace. He wasn't afraid of what this could mean, but rather he was slowly coming to terms with how beautiful and pure their bond really was. 

It was a slow realization, but it was going to be a strong and powerful one. 

Anirudh stroked her hair as she slept on his chest, feeling like he had everything in his arms. If time could stop right here, he would have no regrets, no complaints, and no unfulfilled dreams. Everything he had right now right here, was all he needed ever. 

He had always been very careful when it came to making decisions about Bondita's well-being, but his impulsive nature sometimes got the best of him. Today, his impulse to hold Bondita and sleep took over. His impulse to hold the girl who had become the reason for his living, had become so powerful, that Anirudh couldn't even comprehend right from wrong anymore. He couldn't even fathom that this step might lead to something that they could both regret later on.  

Without thinking about what the consequences of all this could be, Anirudh closed his eyes and fell fast asleep.

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