My Destination, My Bondita

56 - Even If It Breaks Me, I Will Build You

Bondita still hadn't regained consciousness by night time. The doctor had come and said that she was not in danger and she would wake up soon. All that was required was that she had to keep on taking the medicine that the doctor had prescribed. 

She was lying in bed, Anirudh sitting next to her. He was holding her hand, tears in his eyes. 

He rubbed her hand gently before letting go and reaching for the medicine. It was dissolved in water, so he could feed it to her easily. He slightly opened her mouth and poured the medicine in. 

After putting the bowl back to the side, he took her hand again and sighed sadly. 

"Bondita... seeing you like this hurts me very much. Very, very much. I tried very hard to explain things to you, but you didn't understand," he told her sadly. "It's true that I was wrong. You aren't only my zimmedari. You are so much more. You are everything to me. But our relationship has to stay as a relationship based on zimmedari." 

He rubbed her fingers lovingly with his hand. 

"Child marriage is a crime Bondita. No matter what I feel for you, our marriage was still not right. And see, you're suffering from it. You're suffering from these ill-effects of child marriage. Everyone keeps on telling you things, and you keep on believing them. You h - have asked to be the dirt under my feet," he told her painfully. It hurt him to even repeat those words that she said to him. "You've begged for my acceptance. You're running after me at the cost of your self-respect. You don't know how this is hurting you Bondita. You don't know that if I give into your demands, it will cripple you in the future." 

He shook his head, tears freely flowing down his cheeks now. 

"No, I can't let anything cripple you Bondita. I can't ever let my Bondita suffer. I have to make my Bondita strong. So strong that she can even break ties with me, her Pati Babu when she needs to. So strong that she isn't scared of being alone. She has to be confident and self-sufficient. She must be," Anirudh sobbed.

He took a deep breath and let go of her hand, wiping the tears that slipped from his eyes. He reached forward and stroked her hair lovingly. 

"Even if it hurts me. Even if it kills me. I have to put my feelings aside for you. For your bright future. For your focus. For your self-respect," Anirudh said hoarsely, his words having a hard time even making it out of his throat. "Bondita, I can go to any extent for you. I love you so much that I can even put my own wants aside for you to fly. And I will. I've tried explaining it nicely, but now I no longer have a choice." 

He was trying hard not to break down crying, because even though he was saying these words, it was still very difficult for him to do. 

"You will see another side of Anirudh Roy Choudhary now. This is not your Pati Babu speaking Bondita, it is your Guru. Your Guru who will show another face of his, just so that you can become the best version of yourself. Just so you can become the best version of me, because we are one. I will put a stone to my heart and do what needs to happen. I will protect your mind at any cost," he stated.

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears trickling down his cheeks, as he finally uttered, "Even if it breaks me Bondita, I will build you."

Then he stood up. 

"Take care of yourself Bondita," he said, "Because your Pati Babu has to go far from you now. It's time for only your Guru to take over. It's time for this love I have for you to guide me into building your mind in the strongest of ways."

He turned around and was about to leave, unable to face her anymore, but she grabbed his hand, stopping him from going. 

Anirudh looked at her and noticed that she was holding his hand in her sleep. His body just gave away, and he fell back onto her bed. He cupped her face in his hands and felt fresh tears form in his eyes. 

He leaned closer to her and kissed her forehead lovingly. 

"My Bondita, I have already seen you shining strongly in my eyes. I have full faith in you, that you will get through this, and..." he started, his voice breaking. "And... that you will be happy one day. E- even if it's without me." 

He caressed her cheeks lovingly and looked at her for a few moments, taking in the sight of her. Who knew when he would get to do this again? Who knew when he would get a chance to memorize her and fall in love with her like this again? Everything about her was so beautiful, and each time he looked at her, Anirudh Roy Choudhary felt like he was falling in love all over again. 

It hurt him so much to do what he was about to do, but his love for her was so strong that it wasn't just about temporary happiness. It wasn't about what was easy, but it was about what was right. 

Diamonds only formed under pressure, and he knew that for Bondita to become the diamond that she deserved to be, this was needed. There was no other way. 

Anirudh got up again, slowly caressing her hair one final time. Then he left the room fast, before his heart fell weak and he couldn't do it anymore. 

If she was going to get hurt, Anirudh would get hurt a hundred times more. If she was going to suffer, then Anirudh would suffer a hundred times more. The connection they had was such that if she was in pain, Anirudh could never be exempt from it. 

The next morning, when Bondita woke up, she felt her head hurting. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking around. The bed next to her was empty, and the sheets weren't even crumpled like it usually was when her Pati Babu slept next to her. This meant that he hadn't slept beside her last night.

"What happened since the cliff?" she mumbled to herself, and stood up shakily. She was now extremely worried. "Pati Babu must have found out about the fast... he's going to be so mad at me. He will yell at me!" 

That was why she didn't even tell him in the first place. He would have stopped her and would have been very upset with her. 

She took a deep breath and braced herself for his yelling. Little did she know that this time, her Pati Babu wouldn't do what she was anticipating. Rather, his response would be quite different than what she expected out of him. 

After she got ready for her day, she went downstairs. The first place she entered was the study, where her Pati Babu was pacing around and reading a book. 

She was very nervous. 

"Pati Babu..." she said, and gulped, causing him to look up at her from his book. "Good morning." 

-- 

First of all, thank you for 100K+ reads and 15K+ votes on this story. I saw this and I started crying because your love is so overwhelmingly heart-warming. And I love you guys too, so so much. I hope you guys continue to give me the love and support that you've given me thus far. ❤️❤️❤️

Secondly, this phase is very necessary for Bondita's growth. It takes real pain to understand what real happiness is. In order to find herself and her Pati Babu, this is a very necessary stage for Bondita to go through.

Through this phase, along with Bondita's growth as an individual, you will see the varying degrees and shades of Anirudh's attraction and love for her. And in the end all will be well, so don't stress and enjoy the journey. ❤️

And thirdly, I have written the next part already, so if you want it soon, vote and leave your comments! 🌸