My Destination, My Bondita

About Sexuality/Shame (especially female)

Before you read the next chapter, I wanted to share something with you guys. I was hurt reading some of the comments on the last chapter. There were comments that said many things about Bondita for doing what a teenage girl with a curious mind does -- think. 

Just for going through a natural process of discovering her sexuality, she was called many things and put under the lens of judgement. Her mind's voice and curiosity was told to be stopped and suppressed, because of the notion that something was dirty (which it isn't, I'll come to this later). It hurt me so much, that it made me not want to write anymore. 

Just because Bondita is becoming more aware of Anirudh as a man, she is looked upon like this. All Bondita feels, is the urge to get to know him more, she wants to understand and learn about him, and it's a beautiful thing, it's not something one needs to be allergic to. It's not something that needs to be told to be stopped, or that she's being ruined for. She loves him, so she will love every part about him.  

If she wonders why there needs to be clothes as a barrier between them, it's not some 'cheap' thing that she has to suddenly stop her thoughts for. The way that she wants to be close to him is something that is driven by way more than desire, and I thought that I made it clear by showing her stances on one-sided love, and how she cares for and feels for her Pati Babu. 

Maybe it is my mistake as a writer, that I wasn't able to show the depth of their love properly. I tried my best with what I could in terms of Bondita's limited knowledge about these things, but I'm sorry if I failed to convey it properly to you guys.

Her curiosity and intensity of her emotions for him are natural and a part of growing up, even if we keep aside their relationship. As a teenager, have you never wondered such things or thought about such things? Why act like she had dirty things in her mind? Growing sexual feelings, or wanting to get to know someone is not dirty. We have to remove this stigma that these things are dirty. This stigma is exactly why sex education is kept under wraps... the shame associated with this is the reason. 

We have to stop judging girls for being in tune with their sexuality. We have to make people know that they're still loved, and that it's not wrong... so that people don't suppress their emotions, then find the wrong methods to release it, causing themselves to get hurt in the end. We must stop subjecting girls to this scrutiny.  We must open our minds and become more accepting to the bodily changes we and other females are going through.

This is why we aren't progressing. In order to progress as a nation or as a world, we have to progress as a person first.

I love all of you guys... just think about this please. ❤️ I'm not a fan of writing long notes like this, but this time I felt the issue was not just about my characters, but about the real world as well. I don't want anyone outside in the world to feel judged for discovering themselves and their sexuality. It's not something to be afraid of. 

Anyways, I'll post the next chapter for you guys soon if I feel better. It's already written. I just needed to get this out first. The next stages of their relationship will have them discover and learn about their own bodies and their growing sexual urges, and I can't hide it or make it unrealistic by showing that they have no feelings for each other like that... so this had to be cleared by me. I wouldn't have been able to write if I saw more comments attacking her for simply thinking about the one she loved in a natural and realistic way. 

Remember, as a woman, try not to be another woman's worst enemy by putting them down. We love a progressive show like Barrister Babu, so let's try to be progressive in our thinking too. It's never right to shame or suppress any woman for her sexuality. ❤️ 

I know that most of the comments were made with a different intent altogether, and not in this way, but it looks to be this way, which is why I am bringing this up. If you like it, don't be shy to say it. Don't just follow the bandwagon and say what everyone else is saying. Say what you feel, not what everyone else does. It takes one step at a time to embrace change in yourself and in the world. I for one, will never judge you, so with me you can freely express what you want without any barriers. ❤️

I love each and every one of you, 

Your Saffi (Di)