Love After Love...

Chapter 37: "The happiest version of yourself."

~2 weeks later~

Jieun's POV:
Jimin was definitely not just a friend. He was a lot more than a friend. Had I started to like Jimin? It was a tornado in my head.
But first, I needed to tell everything that had transpired to my three jewels. So I called them home, saying it's important. In about 15 minutes, Hyejin, Wheein and Jungkook showed up to my doorstep with a zillion questions.

Hyejin started, "Did you and Jimin bone?" Wheein piled on, "Did he say he loves you? Not surprising. Have you seen the way he looks at you?!" Jungkook added, "Did you tell him you like him?" "STOP!" I yelled. They all shut up. I told them about the whole situation. They were all silent. "Are you okay?" Hyejin asked. "No, not really... I really grew used to him and his presence in those three months," I said. "Are you sure, Jieun? Are you sure it's just you getting used to him?" Wheein said. "I don't know..." I said.

After a pause, I said, "I also fixed everything with Dad." All their eyes widened. I explained everything about the conversation Jimin and I had and all the events since. Jungkook had tears in his eyes and a happy smile on his lips. I hugged him. We spoke of everything a little more. "What are you thinking of doing next? Are you gonna talk to Jimin?" Hyejin asked. "I don't think he wants that... And quite frankly, neither do I, at the moment. I will only hurt him more. And that's the last thing I want. I'm gonna fix everything a little more first," I said.

They all soon left my apartment and I called Seokjin.

SJ: "Hey, Jieun. How's it going?"
Jieun: "Hey, yeah, all well... Are you in town?"
SJ: "Yep, why?"
Jieun: "Could you meet me in front of my apartment today? Let's go someplace. Ice cream first, though."

He giggled.

SJ: "Uh... Sure. 5pm sound okay?"
Jieun: "Yeah. Perfect. See ya."
SJ: "Yep. Bye "

~5 pm~

Author's POV:
Jieun and Seokjin met in his studio because they couldn't meet outside, but she had carried a tub of ice cream for them. They greated eachother and sat down, enjoying their ice cream. "How difficult was it for you?" she said. "What?" he asked, perplexed. She asked again, "How difficult was losing Namjoon?" He stiffened up. "Why suddenly?" he asked. "We've always spoken about me. And I appreciate that you're such a good listener and you have been there whenever I wanted to vent. But you lost him, too. And we've never spoken about that," she said. Seokjin took a deep breath and said, "I blame myself a lot. If I made more efforts and fixed things with him. Or perhaps, told you about it earlier, or do literally anything that would give me more time with him, I would be able to deal with him passing in a better way..." he said. "I'm sure he regrets that, too... I can't imagine how difficult it must've been for you," she replied, holding his hand. He smiled and said, "I'm dealing with it better now. My therapist helps a lot. He's helped with work related stress too." "That's great, Seokjin. I'm really happy for you," she said. They both shared smiles.

The two of them wrapped things up and his studio and then Jieun drove them to his parents' home. "What? Why are we here?" he asked. "I want to talk to Jangmi. And you," she replied. Seokjin was perplexed.

Jangmi opened the door and gave Jieun a warm smile. She invited them both inside. "How have you been, Jieun?" Jangmi asked. "Oh, fine. You?" Jieun asked back. "It's just okay..." she replied, sadly. She continued, "What brings you here?" Jieun responded, "I wanted to talk to both of you..." "Of course, my dear. Anything," Jangmi said with a smile.

Jieun took a deep breath and began, "I really loved your son, Jangmi," she said, tears already forming. Jangmi nodded. "I loved him very much. He was a support when everything felt like it was working against me. Everything would be imploding around me but once I was with him, I felt complete. Happy. But then he left me. Forever. And it killed me knowing that I could've been married to the man I love so much if it wasn't for that damned speeding car... For the first few months, I couldn't sleep, knowing I'd have to wake up in a world that didn't contain Namjoon anymore," Jieun said. Jangmi was now crying too. Seokjin held her close and he fought back tears of his own.

Jieun continued, "But when I'd lost every hope of being someone that was loved in this world, I met someone. Someone that changed my ways of thinking, which I only recently understood were highly flawed. He made me look at myself in a new light... But I hurt him. Very badly. Because Namjoon is etched so deep into my conscious. And I'm ashamed and sorry, to say the least, because he doesn't deserve to be hurt like that. But he makes me very happy, Jangmi... I dont know if this makes you feel betrayed or hurt... but telling you this has been freeing and very healthy for my conscience."
Jangmi and Seokjin took a long pause to assess what Jieun had just told them. Seokjin was elated to know she found someone. He smiled at her. Jangmi too, after a while, smiled.

She said, "Jieun, you're such a lovely person. My Namjoon would've been the luckiest to marry you. You deserve all the good in the world. Give yourself a chance. And if that boy can make you happy, be with him. Namjoon is watching over you, sweetie. He must be hurting knowing you are too. Be the happiest version of yourself. That's when you'll honour him and what memories he's left for all of us."

Jieun felt lighter, little by little, and it was all because of Jimin.

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A/N : Namjoon's death has been such a difficult time for the people who loved him. Yes, Jieun lost the man she thought she would marry and spend the rest of her life with. Jangmi lost a loving son. But Seokjin... it must've been hauntingly difficult for Seokjin.
He literally just fixed things with him. He imagined a future where his full family was together and happy, and that dream was taken away. I wanted a chapter that could highlight that...