Love After Love...

Chapter 74: "Marriage is a partnership."

~2 weeks later, next couple's therapy session~

Jimin's POV:
The last session with Dr. Lee ended rather abruptly. The ride home was quiet, but less awkward. We knew we were at the final stages of our time in therapy and there had to be a way for us to work this out too.

Dr. Lee greeted us and said, "Should we start where we left off last time?" We both nodded.

"Jimin, about your agent... Did you... perhaps, like the flirting? Remember, this is a safe space, there is no wrong answer. I need to absolute truth," she said.

I looked over at Jieun, who looked like she was bracing herself for the worst outcome.

Truth. Alright.

"In a way..." I said.

I could literally see Jieun's heart break. And that in turn broke mine.

"Elaborate," Dr. Lee said.

"It felt nice to be... wanted... like that again," I said. "Oh, I was too busy taking care of our child. I'm sorry I didn't have the time to flirt with you," Jieun said.

I shut my eyes. Yes, I had that coming.

"Jieun, no," Dr. Lee said, "Healthy communication, remember?" Jieun apologized.

"It didn't mean anything other than flattery to me. It felt so so so bad to feel good about being complimented by someone that's not my wife. But I guess I was greedy for an ego stroke," I said, looking to the ground. I looked over at Jieun and she looked... not angry at all. Okay...

"Jieun, why was not believing him and extending the misunderstanding long so imperative for you?" Dr. Lee asked. Jieun sighed.

She straightened up and answered, "I have mentioned to Jimin before that I am someone that gets... jealous. And he's never given me reason to believe he'd cheat on me. But with the way our marriage proceeded, and how much of a rollercoaster it's been right since the beginning, those insecurities multiplied... And just grew into this monstrosity I couldn't recognise anymore. It made me have all sorts of thoughts."

"Like?" Dr. Lee asked.

Jieun looked at me and replied, "'What if he realises I'm not right for him?' Or 'What if he gets tired of fighting all the time?' Or 'Does he find me attractive anymore?'"

The last one had me floored. I cannot believe I had been that ignorant. If I had given the attention I craved to my wife, she would've done the same. The Somi situation could've been avoided because I wouldn't even need an ego stroke. I'm such a fucking idiot.

"How long has it been since you two had sex?" she asked.

Ah, the sex question. I thought this would be asked in the first session. We looked at each other.

"Close to eight months," Jieun said. "Woah," Dr. Lee said. "Sex is important in a marriage," Dr. Lee said. We both nodded. She continued, "Look, you both know very well that marriage is a partnership. I didn't have to make you both realise that. You already came here with that thought. Which is a big thing. But here's something you're missing out on. Sexual frustration often causes a lot of fights to become a lot more aggravated than they really are. And sex, post a fragile fight, needs to be a partnership, too. You both need to work with each other, perfectly understanding what the other needs. So you both could get something out of it. And there's something so primal about sex after a fight."

After more time of Dr. Lee trying to explain how a partnership (during sex) works, she said, "I think this session can be the end of our time. Of course, it's your call. Is there something you'd want to say to each other?"

I looked at Jieun and said, "You have no reason to think I'd ever not be attracted to you. You are, still, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." She smiled and held my hand.

I meant every word.

"I promise I'll be more attentive and present. And I don't just mean with our child. With you, with us," she said. I took her hand to my lips and kissed it. "Oh, and Dr. Lee? I started to look for a job as a high school literature teacher. It was Jieun's idea and I quite liked it. A way to stay closer to our passions, am I right?" I said. "That is brilliant news, Jimin. I think you two are pretty good now," she said.

We exited the clinic and sat in the car. That car ride home, was joyful, peaceful and promising. I said, "Okay, how weird was it listening to a 50 year old talk about primal sex?"

Jieun laughed loud and my life had colour again.

"So weird," she said. "RIGHT?!" I added. We reached home and put Sungho to bed.

Well, Dr. Lee was right about two things. One, we were pretty good now. And two, there is something primal about sex after a fight.