Chatbox thoughts

How I was Saved

So I've never found worship services to be that effective. I have been to worship concerts and they were the most boring things I have ever gone to. But then I went to Dance Revolution and I saw dancers. I saw people who were like me. People who understood what I understood and for the first time I felt like I wasn't the only one. None of my friends danced so at DR I didn't feel alone.

The first time I went I felt God for what could have been the first time. I heard him calling me to the dancer that said father, but I rejected it and the memory still haunts me to this day. But the second year I knew I was going to be in that worship service and I was going to listen. I wanted to feel like I was with God again.

I'll admit, I don't remember what was said. I barely remember anything from that day. I remember the director mentioning God being a father again. But what I vividly remember curling myself up into a ball and praying someone would care enough to be there. And that's where God met me. No words were spoken there was no big "My life has drastically changed!" moment. I was just through with all of the hurt and the next day I remember being changed. I remember from that moment on I was different. I didn't act differently but I felt different. I somehow changed just enough to where I would be able to hear God through spiritual deafness but not enough for anybody to notice other than me.

For years I had heard every word. I had heard time and time again how much God loves us. I was so tired of hearing the same message but having nothing to back it up. It took a dancer to reach out to me and show me what I had missed.

When I went to DR this year and I went to the worship service I didn't feel like it was as impactful to me as it had been in years past. However, one thing stood out to me, she guided us through (I wanna say it's) a scene. She said "Now everyone close your eyes. I want you to see yourself walking through a hallway and at the end of the hallway is this light." when you reach the end of the hallway and step into the room God is standing there and he says "Will you dance with me?"

She said that last phrase specifically and I cracked. I hardly ever hear those words. But I danced. I partner danced with myself because that's what we needed to do in order to make me feel a little bit more whole again.

I am crying as I write this because I remember that moment. I remember how much it hurt to hear the words "Will you dance with me?"It sucks, living amongst people you are so drastically different from. But I am not alone anymore. My life changed in January 2021 and I haven't wanted to go back.

To you who are reading this and want to feel what I felt and experience some small piece of the joy I am feeling now you just need to go and worship. DR taught me that worship comes in many forms so what will speak to me may not speak to you. But I encourage you to find one that does.