Chatbox thoughts

Update

We're dating.

If I hadn't told y'all yet, it's because it's only been a few days, and I meant to tell y'all in person. So far, it's going really well.

But when have I ever come on here to talk about something good? Currently, my mind is racing.

We are in a bit of a spat over Texas, of all things. He's not a fan of the die-hard Texan personality. The idea that Texans are better because we were our own state.

I am not a fan of egotistical people, either. This seems to be a big deal for him tho, which I didn't quite catch onto until after I was poking at him.

You know that big red button that has the "don't push" sign on it? Whelp, I found it and pushed it. I knew I would, but I'm only three days in.

Personally, I am just attached to Texas because I've lived here all my life. I have as much state pride as anyone else. But I am not nationalistic. I am not so blind that I do not see the flaws in our system. One state is not any better than the next. I am just biased because most of my family lives and has always lived here.

And what sucks is I texted that, and THEN we lost connection.

(Due to his job, we text until the connection goes or one of us decides the other needs sleep.)

But guess who's blasting angry songs at full volume so that they don't overthink this? ME.

I'm sure everything is fine. I highly doubt that this will be a full-blown argument. Or at least, I hope not. This really wouldn't be a topic worth it.

But regardless my mind is in panic mode. It did that a few days ago when I was sick. I was up at 4 in the morning, unable to sleep because of how much pain I was in. So my sleep-deprived, anxiety-ridden brain decided then would be the time to make my head roar. But now, my angrophobia has kicked in (fear of anger). 

That's the thing about phobias: they're irrational. I know that we'll be fine. But keeping panicked thoughts outside my head is better.

Date written Jan. 3, 2024