Chatbox thoughts

Untitled Part 61

I need to feel those negative emotions. It helps me to feel normal. If I don't feel them I tends to freak out. Because normal people can feel their emotion if you can't there's something wrong with you.

I was angry at my parents. They are controlling and I don't like it. They have made me feel less than in one way or another my entire life. And now I have to deal with trying to function like an adult when they still treat me like a child.

I was angry at myself for not being able to hold my ground with them. I should be. But I feel like a coward even though I was actually following God's command to honor/respect my parents.

I feel disconnected from everything.

I've missed assignments. I'm stressed about projects. I'm stressed about transferring to who knows where. I'm stressed because I know practically nothing about college. I feel disconnected from the world.

I haven't talked to Sinead and Jillian. Two of my close friends. I'm angry that she just walked away from me. She seems no different than any other friend I've had. But i feel alone because of that.

I feel disconnected from God. I can't feel him. I don't know what I'm doing and it feels like He's stepped back. And i don't know how to fix it.

I don't know how to fix any of this. I don't know how to help.

I'm upset at myself for not being able to talk with you how I should.

I'm upset at myself that I am annoyed with how you handle my problems. You didn't know.

I'm upset that now you are going to be at house where I know you aren't 100% comfortable. I know you aren't.

Now you're going to be gone...and I will feel alone again.

And to top it off I am still dealing with some body issues

Written Feb. 15th