This is the only time I wish I had one of Connor's friend's numbers.
How do you get the noise to stop?
And if somebody else tells me to give it to God, I am gonna snap at somebody because, While it is true, it is the most unhelpful thing to say.
Because what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do here?
I'm trying to fucking cope. There's only one fix for this but the noise never stops and I need help. There isn't exactly an instruction manual for this. There is no answer to any of my problems but God, but I don't know what I'm doing.
Hell, yesterday, my anxiety got so bad I got a drink in the hopes that maybe it would help. I knew it wouldn't. It made it worse.
I'm trying just about everything, and nothing is working.
The tears, unfortunately, block my oxygen flow, and my already sore throat blocks it more.
I've been rocking myself unconsciously for hours, and I am probably going to have to paint.
Not to keep myself from cutting. Just to keep myself sane.
I can't listen to music, nothing soothes. Most of it makes it worse.
My executive dysfunction is starting to kick in. Probably to finish me off.
I need help and I don't know how to get it. I try talking about it but nobody helps.
I dug my own grave, and now I'm drowning in it.
God told me to trust Him. I'm trying. I promise I'm trying.
YOU ARE READING
Chatbox thoughts
RandomSo this is my journal. My way of reaching out for help without feeling like a burden. Don't take this personally a lot of this was written at my angriest or when I was in the most amount of pain from the situation. If you are just starting reading...
