Appetite for Mars: A Steven Adler X Mick Mars Tale

Chapter 19: Getting Air with Sixx and Slash

A/N: Secrets revealed at least to a select pair, you will see....and talks and getting air with Nikki Sixx and Slash comes in...now on with the chapter!

I feel so damn exhausted right now, it isn't even funny. And I'd been dozing on and off and tried to go to sleep a little bit ago.... didn't work, obviously. Now glancing at my watch, I see, its almost 1 am. Well shit! I groan my hands on my swollen stomach...feeling nauseous but haven't puked.

"Come on...I wanna sleep." I sigh once more, breathing deeply thru my nose, "Ok, ok.... gonna be a night owl like mommy, I see.... that and you're already telling me I won't get sleep when you arrive..... i could use some air, wanna go for a walk? We'll go sit down at the pool." I rub my stomach gently and carefully swing my legs over the side of the bed, find my shoes and wrap my self in my favorite blanket, grab my room key and head out....and as I get to the elevator, I notice someone is with me and to my surprise, It's Nikki. And he and I share a look, as the doors close.

"You too? Need air?" Nikki looks pale and tired.

"yeah" My tone quiet.

"Wanna talk?" Nikki is eyeing me strangely, hmm...makes me nervous. We make our way down to the pool and carefully lay out on some lounge chairs, both of us are wrapped up in blankets.

"So, why are you out here getting air?" I ask him curiously, side eyeing him.... slowly, my nausea is going away.

Nikki sighs heavily, "I flipped out on Slash.... we were out on the balcony. I freaked the fuck out.... because we'd just found out...well, I'm pregnant."

My jaw drops and Nikki manages to continue, "I feel like I don't deserve this pure innocent life inside me, that I will be a horrible parent. I mean what the fuck I know about kids? But really Slash and I...our relationship is new, and we've been so busy with band stuff, that...I...I...just feel so guilty. Also, I may have made Slash think I was going to the bathroom....so he doesn't know where I am!!" Nikki breaks down, which in turn gets me started.

"N-Nikki.... that's n-not true!" I cry, "I mean you overcame your heroin addiction and died twice, and...and that doesn't mean you don't deserve your baby. You have the chance to CREATE life, to nurture it. "I try to soothe him, and Nikki looks at me, eyes red rimmed from crying...but suddenly his eyes narrow then widen. Oh shit!! No, no...no!! He'll tell Mick...he knows...and sure enough...

"Steven...please...don't get mad...but I know that look.... are you, are you pregnant? "Nikki's voice is hesitant to ask me, and I start to tremble....and I feel his arms around me suddenly. I can't answer him and so he says, "You are, aren't you?"

"Y-yes!!" I stammer in a whisper.

"Oh Steven! It all makes sense now your strange behaviors, and too of course you'd still be upset over Mick or....no that's true, but not quite. You still love him and it's his baby, isn't it? How far along are you?" Nikki gently tubs my back and I find myself wishing it was Mick.

"Um...um...2 months. Yes, it's his baby...I've been so hurt, conflicted and angry...I am afraid to tell him...I..." We are cut off by the sound of Slash's frantic voice calling Nikki's name...and Nikki whispers, 'give me a minute'.

"Baby! There you are! God, I've been so fucking worried!" Slash takes a very guilty Nikki into his arms, frantically checking Nikki over to make sure he and their baby are ok.

"God, Slashy I am so sorry!! I needed air.... i don't deserve our baby, our relationship is new, and I feel so fucking guilty. And, and I fear I'll be a horrible mom!" Nikki wails clinging to his boyfriend, and I turn my head from the comforting kind of love Slash is giving his boyfriend, I feel a pang in my heart.