Appetite for Mars: A Steven Adler X Mick Mars Tale

Chapter 20: My Baby and Me

A/N: Steven talking to his baby, thinking about Slash and Nikki's advice....and more.

Another show, another day of hiding at least from everyone but Nikki and Slash. Oh, I admit, that it DOES help at least a wee bit that someone knows. But still the one that should know the most does not: Mick of course. I've really been thinking about Nikki and Slash's advice, its damn good advice I do admit that, but I need a bit more time. I'll say this: Morning sickness fucking sucks!! Mine is so bad, it isn't funny. But as Nikki and slash have said, they've covered for me. I've been so exhausted after shows and on-stage that Slash looks borderline terrified at my state but does his best to watch out for me. And too, they haven't told Mick.... really it would be better coming from me anyway, I guess.

I did talk to my friends for a while, and they did their best to cheer me up and distract me. Slash was the best at it though, but  i am grateful for all my friends. Which brings us to now: me in a car on my way back to my room at the hotel while everyone else watches their boyfriends on stage or do whatever.

Finally, I get to the hotel and practically crawl up to my room, getting sick along the way.... ugh, why is there still so much?!! With a great sense of relief, I shoulder my goody bag and walk inside my room.... i need a shower but need to eat first and I had stopped off or rather the driver took me by McDonald's, and I was seriously craving big macs, so yeah.... hopefully I'll keep this down, but I do have jerky, crackers, and fruit and more just in case.

I throw off my shoes, they land I don't even know where or care now and I get started on my big mac's...sighing in satisfaction, talking to my unborn baby....

"I guess since I wanted these, YOU wanted these. Please let me eat them. And soon after I would love to take a bath, baths are awesome. You can do a lot of thinking." I've already polished off one big mac and some fries and start on my second one. I already love my baby so much and I do feel some relief that I have some allies, no friends that understand at least some of that I am going thru. I think Nikki and Slash were right, I will likely end up going to Mick.... but I get this weird vibe that it won't go the way I think when I tell Mick. Like my morning sickness may rear its head, hopefully it will turn out ok.

I finish my food and hey I got a pie, strawberry of course....so fucking tasty! I wait a bit, 20 minutes or so and it looks like I am gonna digest it, so yay.

"Ok, so now it's bath time, ok? And oh, maybe we can find some cartoons or something funny, mommy can use a laugh...a laugh." I trail off delving into my thoughts as I rub my rounded stomach gently....

Nikki has said that all Mick ever talks about is me, and that both of us deep down know what we want to say...but really, I guess both of us, in our own ways...don't see or are just trying to find our way...perhaps its really the way to each other? Maybe my feelings for Mick, even though I've been conflicted.... have I really stopped to consider his feelings? He DOES feel something.... i think I've always known that.... oh yeah, shower....and I wanna talk more to my baby...

I gather a fresh t-shirt, looney tunes and a pair of comfy pajama bottoms and a towel and wash cloth and head into the bathroom and get the shower started and I start stripping, everything gets put in its place and I look in the mirror, hands on my belly...

"Gosh, your already getting big. I hope you will love baths as much as Mommy does when you're born."

And at last, I carefully step into the shower and carefully wash my self-off first, using my favorite body wash, also orange scented like my shampoo and sigh with satisfaction as the warm water cascades over me.

"I really love orange scented stuff; my favorite color is orange and...the color of your father's eyes, that's also one of my favorites." I murmur to my stomach, "ya know daddies real name is Robert. If you're a boy...I want to name you after him but call you Robbie." I can't believe the words that just came out of my mouth, but I find that I mean them.

I finish washing my self and rinse the soap off and get started on my hair, my lion's mane...I still maintain my hair is more fabulous and better looking than Duff's. Cause it totally is. Finally, I finish and carefully, making sure I don't slip as I get a little dizzy, I sit down a minute until it passes and comb out my hair and dry it and put on my cozy pajamas and at last sit up in bed again...and hey I managed to find cartoons!! Triumph! I don't really pay much attention, and so I talk once more to my unborn child, hands caressing my rounded stomach:

"Oh! I just thought, what if you're a girl? Oh, you'd be so cute! Cute if a boy too...but anyway, I just thought of some girl names, I love poppy.... like Poppy jean Mars, and ooh, Sunny Delilah Mars, oh I'd call you Sunny D as a nickname, unless you would hate that.... or sunny Jane...yeah, I love Sunny Jane better. You like any of those names? I hope so, I love them...and I love YOU. Give me a little more time and I'll tell daddy about you next month. I think I know what I wanna say, but I am afraid it won't go so well.... but I am overthinking things too. I tend to do that...anyway, I promise you, that you will have a family and have a loving set of parents." I pause a moment, my words...I mean them, but they feel prophetic really...weird, or is it? "Where did that come from? Duh, it came from the heart. I'm starting to think that what I feel isn't just completely one sided...and you my angel may be the key to unlocking your father's heart....it will make him SEE. But too, I want him to completely let go.... give in to his feelings and let those walls crash down for good and maybe too I should do the same. Now, please let me get some sleep tonight? Or at least a decent amount?"

I'd end up getting 3 hours of sleep, that I guess is decent.... i woke up feeling nauseous AGAIN and got sick....and then I had to try and have a snack or something....and finally I fell asleep again...one month, one more month.... till my life and my destiny will hopefully change for the better...one more month....

A/N: Did you catch the hints I put in here? For one the baby names or babies' names....and of things to come.... hope you enjoyed this chapter! Chapter 21 just may see a surprise....in that Steven may ask to talk to Mick or get up the courage to ask Mick if they can talk...and he will be 3 months along when he does.