The way to Gondor (Aragorn and Legolas fanfic)

Royal elks, slinky elves and a dwarf with forest anxiety

Gimli POV

The next half hour was a timespan I could only describe as my worst nightmare. You see, a dwarf on a horse already is something you would rarely see anywhere on Middle-Earth these days, and a dwarf behind an elf on a horse has never happened before and nobody of my fellows will believe me when I see them again. And on top of that, a dwarf behind an elf on a horse that is running as fast as it could because said elf and a certain ranger are having a race, is awful. I could only describe it that way, awful, terrible, a nightmare. 

"Elf!", I bellowed. Legolas hummed a panted yes, speeding up Arod even more to catch up to Aragorn, who was a few inches in front of him. "When you are done here, please bury my body in the mountains. I wouldn't be able to rest in such a wiggly little boat like good old Boromir. He might be the one to take a bath as the last thing he does, but a dwarf like me would really prefer a solid stone tomb under which we can lie in peace and not be bothered by anyone. Wah, don't drop me!" The last sentence I screamed in fear, because the horse had jumped over a big root and I had nearly bounced off its back. Legolas now honored me with an amused look over the shoulder and chuckled. 

"Don't worry, my friend!", he answered, "I'm sure we'll find a nice spot for you under some old dirty stone over there in the forest. I reckon there should be plenty of them!"

I looked to the side, still clutching Legolas back, to not fall off, and noticed we were at the edge of a big old forest. Perfect. I hate forests as much as I hate races on horses. But at least the race was apparently over now, because Legolas stopped his horse apruptly, close behind Aragorn, and they both jumped off at once. Clumsily, I climbed, no tumbled, down too. 

"Seems like elves still can't beat men with their riding skills. Or is it because you're more used to elks back in Mirkwood? Have I remembered it correctly, or does your father not ride a royal elk?", I  heard Aragorn's voice say. He seemed to be in a very good mood and I could feel the huge grin on his face while teasing Legolas. However, I was more interested in the forest next to us. I sensed evil. Or I was just a wimp. Shame on me!

"Do not make fun of our elks, ranger, it could come back to you someday", Legolas replied in the same amused voice. "I bet you wouldn't even know how to climb up on one. They are far beyond your abilities!"

"Of course, my dear, but I'm sure you would tell me the gist of it if I ever happened to meet an elk, wouldn't you, my prince?"

"How could I deny a king his wish?", Legolas answered. "But I'd be careful with the advice you get from other elves. They might find it funny to see a man from Gondor not be able to control their elks. The last man to fall down from a royal elk was, and it was quite some time ago, Bard the Bowman, whom my father hosted for several months after the Battle of the five armies. It was a rare but very entertaining show when Emeralda threw him off five times in a row, in front of my father's whole court. Of course, I couldn't help him, he had made fun of poor Emeralda and he certainly got the right punishment."

"I'll be careful not to trust anyone of these slinky elves, you included. One question though", Aragorn replied smoothly, "I dare to say I've heard rumours about the so-called platonic relationship of king Thranduil and a certain Bard the Bowman. I believe they were rather cute together, don't you think?"

Before Legolas could reply, I finally interrupted their conversation. I mean:

"Weren't we supposed to be searching hobbits, laddies? Although I would gladly discuss the matter of slinky elves the whole day and add quite a few things from my side", I gave Legolas a meaning look, "we should really be going into that very dark forest here, even though it's the last thing I ever thought I would have to say to an elf."

The last words I muttered under my breath, but of course both Aragorn and Legolas heard them.

"So, afraid of forests, are we, Mr. Dwarf?", Legolas teased me now. "But don't you worry, you have a very strong and brave elf at your side, and if really the worst should happen, I'll make sure to find you a nice stone."

Aragorn gave him a strange look, but I didn't explain the reference. Without another word I turned around and stomped away into the forest. That really was the last thing I had believed I would ever do. A dwarf seeking shelter in the forest rather than talk to a sassy elf. What a humiliation!

Hi everyone! Hope you like this chapter, I really had to make fun of them all today, I laughed while writing this! Anyways, have a nice day y'all and a merry christmas!