Poison blade || S. Rogers x Reader x B. Barnes

Part 8

The next day I had packed my mission suit, some clothes and weapons into a bag and now I was waiting for Natasha in the jet. I didn't have to wait long before she arrived with a bag of her own.

"Morning. Are you ready to go?" She asked.

I hummed a yes and leaned back against the wall. "So what exactly is our plan here?"

"I'm not sure yet." she started. "We'll get to Yelena then we figure out what we're gonna do."

"Well then wake me up once we get there." I said before closing my eyes and dozing off.

I was woken up by Natasha slightly shaking me a while later, so we got our stuff and headed out. We had landed away from the city so we had to walk on foot to the train station.

"Are you looking forward to seeing your sister?"

"Technically she's not my sister."

I sighed. "She was younger than you. You're what she remembers, so for her it was real, you know."

"Was Elias your brother then?"

"Yes. And he still is."

She hummed. "Do you know if he's alive?"

I shook my head before answering. "No, but I do hope he is. And if he is, I plan on finding him."

"I'll help you." She smiled at me.

I nodded. "I appreciate that."

After a few moments of silence she spoke. "Do you think we'll ever be friends again?" she questioned.

I thought about it for a few seconds before answering. "I don't think we were ever really friends, I mean we were both in a situation where we didn't have any control, so we were more forced to talk to each other than anything. But I do think we could possibly be friends in the future."

"Once you get control over your trust issues?"

I let out a small chuckle. "Exactly."

We soon arrived at the train station and got in and sat down. I was sitting next to the window so I leaned my head on it and looked at my reflection in the glass. I knew it was myself I was looking at but it didn't really feel like it. I felt completely stripped of my own identity, like I wasn't even human anymore. I was too scared to ask for help, I didn't want attention and I hated people pitying me, but I realized I wasn't mentally healthy.

"What's on your mind?" Natasha asked and I sat up and turned to look at her.

"How are you ok after the red room?"

She looked at me a little confused. "I wasn't for a while. Barton really helped me though, but mostly I just realized that I was finally out and I could now live a more normal life." she took a breath before continuing. "Although for you I'd say you should try talking to someone, like a therapist. You went through a lot of psychologically damaging situations, I mean I only know a tiny bit of what they put you through and I would be traumatized if that happened to me."

"I myself feel like I should just be strong and push through this, but I don't know if I can."

"You don't have to go through this alone, Poison. You have me and the rest of the team to support you, and once we get back from this mission I'll help you get therapy."

I gave a genuine smile for the first time in a while. "Thank you Natalia."

She nodded before looking forwards as we felt the train slowly come to a stop. We got out of our seats and grabbed our bags before getting out of the train.