Of all the worst times to get sleep apnea
I'm gonna write till it goes away
And hopefully not die
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~ Reverse au ~
Jamey: God mom, isn't Faz the greatest?!
Lucifer: He certainly has changed.
Jamey: I know! He's so.. assertive now!
Lucifer: Right?
Jamey: He just talks me down that feels so good- do you think he'll hit me? B-but only because he really loves me!
Lucifer: And sometimes you do talk a lot.
Jamey: Yes! Exactly! That! I do, I do talk a lot!
Lucifer: We can just tell everyone that you ran into a door!
Jamey: Oh yes! That's perfect mommy! Thank you!
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That's an American dad reference lmao (I feel like I've done this before though)
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Jamey: *looking at his reverse self* I don't like you.
Reverse Jamey: B-but why??
Jamey; You're everything I hate. I prefer coffee over tea, I like my hair long, I don't wear cute teacher sweaters and I don't wear glasses.
Reverse Jamey: *pouts*
Jamey: *grins* And I'm an actual good cook.
Reverse Jamey: *gasps*
Jamey: *looks at his wrong self* I hate you even more.
Wrong Jamey: *bouncing excitedly* Oh please tell me why! I wanna know! I wanna know! I wanna know!
Jamey: *hisses at him*
Wrong Jamey: *giggles and stops* Are we playing a game?
Jamey: Did you even lose your virginity?
Wrong Jamey: *grins* Fazzy took it! I love him soooo much! I'm gonna make him a famous fashion designer some day! But he told me it was only a one time thing, but how can it be a one time thing when he calls me every time to let out some "steam" *uses the air quotes*
Jamey: *sighs* At least you're helping out your Faz. *glares at his reverse self* Unlike someone.
Reverse Jamey: *cowers in fear*
Jamey: Alright. Who the fuck is next?
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Jamey's super judgy and a big meanie
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Jerry: Oooh. I already know Raven. *pushes his reverse self away*
Reverse Jerry: Hey! At least acknowledge me!
Jerry: *looks at him* There. *turns to his wrong self* ... What's so wrong about you?
Wrong Jerry: *flicks his collar* Literally nothing. Are we gonna be here long? I gotta check on my blueberry.
Jerry: You mean Max?
Wrong Jerry: You call him Max, I call him blueberry. Nothing wrong with it.
Jerry: Never said it was. You're quick to defend.
Wrong Jerry: So?
Jerry: You're insecure! That's what's wrong! I don't have insecurities.
Reverse Jerry: *coughs* Bullshit *coughs*
Jerry: *glares at him*
Wrong Jerry: What's wrong with me, dipshit, is that I don't sleep around everywhere. The only person I've ever been with is Max and I still haven't lost my virginity. I'm waiting till we's get married.
Jerry: Holy shit! A virgin Jerry! That's amazing!
Wrong Jerry: I won't be virgin for long you slut.
Reverse Jerry: *laughs*
Jerry: Shut up! *huffs* You're mean! Why won't you sleep around?
Wrong Jerry: I didn't wanna. And my Maxi would probably kill himself if he found out I was sleeping around.
Jerry: Oh, I'm sorry.
Wrong Jerry: You better be. Now can we please get a move on? I need to check on him and make sure he's okay.
Jerry: Affirmative! Well at least we all know, we love Max!
