Extremely experimental chapter coming though!
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"What made you want to see this?" Jamey asked as he showed off his straightened hair and red dress. It's been awhile since he dressed up like this. Faz smiled as he gave him a once over, "Nothing really. But I love when you dress up like this" Jamey smiled softly back at him. "So do I. I only really dress up like this when it's a costume party." Faz looked at him, "Just that?" He asked and Jamey thought about it. "Well... I guess for myself as well" Faz perked up at that. "For yourself? When do you have the time to do that?" Jamey sat himself on their bed. "Hmm... usually when you're out shopping or taking the kids to the park with Jerry" Faz's eyebrows rose and decided to choose his next words carefully. "Do... do you feel different when you dress up as a woman?" Jamey tilted his head softly to the side. "What do you mean?" Faz gestured to his face. "When you wear makeup and shave. Do you feel any different? Like you're someone else?" Jamey blinked before looking up at the ceiling and thought about it long and hard. Faz sat next to him and admired the sparkly red dress until Jamey gave him a response.
After 5 minutes Jamey looked at him. "I think so... I mean I look nice. I could pass off as a woman if I went out like this... but why the questions?" Faz smiled at him. "You like being called mommy right?" Jamey nodded. "Sometimes you like to be.. ugh I don't know if this is misogynistic, but you like to be the "woman" in the relationship right?" Jamey raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "You've also been treated poorly with how you acted in the past right?" Jamey hesitantly nodded. "If you mean very feminine, then yeah. But I don't understand where this is going" Jamey answered as Faz pulled on his shirt a bit. "Jamey" he let out a chuckled breath. "I think you might be Genderfluid"
Jamey slowly blinked. "Genderfluid?" He asks and pulls a face, "I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound nice" Faz took his hands. "Genderfluid means that you switch between genders. One day you're a man, the next you could be a woman!" Jamey stared at him and felt his face flush. "No... really?..... That's a thing?" Faz nodded and gave him a supporting smile. "There's nothing wrong with it! You know I'm Pan! I love you no matter who you are or what gender you identify yourself as!" Jamey shook his head softly. "That's not what I'm worried about. I don't think I'm Genderfluid. I mean, I do like to dress up as a woman, but that's just me being in drag! In my past I was made fun of for being gay and feminine, not if I was Genderfluid"
Faz rubbed his thumb against Jamey's palm. "When did you start realizing you might gay?" He asked softly. Jamey watched his thumb rub up and down his palm as he stifled through his memories. "I was watching a show that starred Dwayne the Rock Johnson" Faz chuckled. "Yeah?" Jamey chuckled too. "Yeah. I also remember stealing makeup from a store when I was a teenager. I went back to my shitty apartment and put it on" Faz glanced up at him, not stopping his movements. "How did you feel?" He whispered. Jamey closed his eyes softly answering, "I did such a shitty job, but I really liked it. I even used my crap curtains as a dress. Pretty sure a bunch of people saw me trying to dress up as a woman" Faz smiled. "Have you always thought about calling yourself a different name?"
Jamey opened his eyes and stared into Faz's blue sky eyes. It was comforting. "I'm not sure...but..." Jamey bit his lip softly and held onto Faz's hand tight. "I... I always liked the name..." Jamey trailed off, almost afraid to say it. He began shaking softly, he didn't know if it was out of fear or if he was gonna start crying from such personal questions, but it all stopped when Faz brought his hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, he began rubbing comforting circles on the top of his hand. "It's okay. It's just me and you in this room" Faz held Jamey's stare as he only focused on him. Jamey took a deep breathe and slowly exhaled. "I always liked the name.. Janice Halls" Jamey answered softly, giving a tiny smile. Faz smiled back, showing off his teeth. "Well Janice. I think you look very lovely tonight." He sat up on his knees to reach her and bumped foreheads with Janice. They held hands until Faz saw something small and wet land on Janice's red dress. She hiccuped as she started crying and began shaking, Faz kissed her cheek and pulled her into a hug. She held onto him tight, crying into his shoulder and absolutely ruining her makeup, but Nothing else mattered right now and they rather just stay like that if only for just a moment.
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Jamey rubbed at his beard. "That... was something" he commented his eyes still a bit puffy from the raw emotion he felt just minutes ago. Faz took a sip of his iced coffee, "you think so? I think it was just an intense emotional part of you that finally freed itself" Jamey felt his face heat up. "It was intense alright. I'm... sorry for... dumping that all onto you. I.. I'm so-" Faz covered his mouth before he could even finish his sentence. "Jamey, baby. Love of my life, never apologize for sharing such deep emotional feelings with me. You never apologized for it before. Why now?" He uncovered his mouth, scooted closer to him and stared into his eyes and Jamey stared right back at him. "I didn't know it was okay to have it until now. I didn't know it was.. okay to be.. that until now." He answered softly. He reached over to his side, taking Faz's hand and bringing it up to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss. "I love you" Jamey says and Faz smiles, giving him a quick nuzzle to his neck "I love you too~" Faz answered, smiling widely.
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This was extremely experimental. I don't actually know if I'm gonna go through with this. For different reasons.
One: I've always known Jamey as just Jamey. Nothing else.
Two: I tend to forget things a lot, if you haven't noticed, so unless I continuously keep writing about Janice Halls. I'll probably forget about her.
Three: There's none
Also this wouldn't leave me alone. Like I kept thinking about how I like to dress up Jamey as drag. How I usually just draw him as a woman instead of drawing his actual Genderbent self. Then I thought about how he likes to be referred to as "mommy" and yes it is a kink thing, but then I started thinking, "what if it's something more?" So I turned the Jamey "Jessica Rabbit" design into Janice Halls!
But again, don't know if I'll stick with it. It was definitely fun to write and I do enjoy writing more about my boy Jamey. So who knows! What do you think?
