Chris: So as demons, you do a lot of sinful things right?
Lucifer: yes? Is this a trick question?
Angelo: *nods happily*
Chris: so uhh.. *rubs the back of his neck* Can you like... not?
Lucifer: *raises an eyebrow* What do you mean?
Angelo: *tilts his head a bit*
Chris: I mean- Can you stop having sex with other people??
Lucifer: oh.
Angelo: But that's our whole thing! Plus we only have sex with other people when we wanna damn them into hell. They commit adultery. Plus when demons have sex with other demons it's because it's fun! And we're bored.
Lucifer: Yeah. Why do you think Max keeps coming back for more?
Chris: *groans* That. Stop having sex with Max! *points at Angelo* And you stop having sex with Jerry.
Lucifer: *sighs* Fine!
Angelo: *shrugs* Okay Chrissy!
Chris: *huffs* I'm serious. If you want this relationship to work, I need you guys to stop having sex with other people.
Lucifer: Are you jealous Chris?~
Chris: *splutters* W-what?! N-no I'm not! I-
Angelo: Oooh!~ Chrissy's jealous!!
Chris: I'm not!! I'm just a.... one size fits all type of guy. Why bother with something else when the first time is perfect?
Lucifer: *blinks* Well damn.
Angelo: Aw!! *hugs him* That's beautiful!! I'm so happy you think of us that way!
Lucifer: *pulls them on top of him* From now on you better feed us.
Chris: *squeaks* Feed?
Angelo: *kisses his cheek* We're demons Chrissy~ We have sex constantly. Are you prepared to take that dive and constantly feed us?
Chris: I-I... take me to dinner first.
Lucifer: We're gonna woo your fucking pants off. Preferably on our floor.
Angelo: and fuck like we're in our 20's again!!
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~ outside the Wilde resident ~
Max: *falls to his knees and screams at the sky* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lucifer: *deadpans at him*
Jerry: *gasps* I can't clap your cheeks anymore? How dreadful. *looks down sadly*
Angelo: *hugs him and kisses his cheek* There there. *pats his head*
Lucifer: *looks at his nails* You know I was only fucking you because you're an easy lay.
Max: *gasps* I hope in twenty years when you and my dad have kids together, he divorces your ass!
Chris: WHAT?!
Lucifer: You don't want kids together?
Angelo: *bounces over to him* Imagine it Chrissy! My stomach plumped up with your babies! *snuggles into him* They'd look so cute!
Max: *hugs Jerry* Comfort me.
Jerry: *kisses him and pulls away* I'll treat you nice. *picks him up and brings him back inside*
Max: *preens* Oh Jerry! I already feel like the belle at the ball!
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