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𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲!
Welcome to the review shop of Espoir Community, 𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘂𝗯𝘀, where we won't just give you an honest review from a reader's point of view but a writer's point of view as well. No one i...
The title is very important because it represents your book, and it tells your readers kind of what it's going to be about.
The title of your book should be intriguing, contain a boldness to it, and it should also have something to do with the plot of your story. So, in my personal opinion: I don't find the title appealing. I don't recommend using digits like that for the title, because it's confusing and not very memorable.
Remember, there is more than one goal that you are trying to achieve when choosing your title. While it may go with your story, it's not intriguing.
● Cover (⅖)
The cover is the main thing that will convince readers to take a look at your book. So for this to happen, it should be eye-catching and memorable. As I was examining your cover, I did notice a few issues that would prevent me from being drawn to it. Not only is the font too small, but it looks kind of sloppy. I can't even read the title on the cover.
I also don't understand the purpose of the purple and gold glare. It just looks out of place to me. I highly suggest having your cover remade. The photo is too plain, the font could be enhanced tremendously, and the glare on the cover is just confusing. Nothing about your cover stands out to me, and that's important.
● Description (5/10)
The blurb-or description, is the last thing that readers will see before they open your book. It's your last chance to hook them before they make their final decision. Your description should contain a strong hook, and it should leave your readers guessing in the best way possible. Let's see how you did:
The blurb starts strong. I love the first paragraph. You have a strong hook, but it tells us nothing. We need more information. You want the blurb to give away just enough information, without overselling it. But unfortunately, you undersold it.
● Protagonist Usage (3.5/5)
For the most part, the protagonist seems well put together, and realistic. But I personally don't like her, nor do I relate to her.
At the beginning of the book, she assumes that Taehyung is mentally ill. She talks down to him and then uses him for her gain. She even knows that she's doing it because she gloats about it. This doesn't mean that nobody will relate to her, but I don't. She acted too entitled, and she acted like he was supposed to bow down to her. I couldn't get past that.
● Plot (7/10)
Considering that your book only contains a prologue and 3 chapters-2 of them pretty short, I don't have a lot to go off of. From what I've read so far, I can conclude that Taehyung is an alien of some sort-or star-as he likes to say.
We haven't understood a lot about him yet. But the story as a whole is all coming together naturally. I love the subtle hints you keep throwing at us, as well as the cliffhangers at the end of the chapters.
● Flow (14/20)
As I was reading your book, I stumbled across many errors. A lot of these errors impact the flow of your story negatively. I kept finding myself having to reread sentences multiple times throughout the story. I kept getting hung up on words, and there was also a lot of repetition.
I recommend going back through your story, and fixing all of the mistakes that you can. If you struggle to find what words to use, then look up synonyms to the current word you keep trying to reuse. It will enhance the flow of your story a lot.
● Character Development (5/10)
Character development is really important because it shows your readers that change is possible. It's also important because it's realistic. As people, we grow. Your characters should portray that as well.
I'm still really early on in the story, but I did notice a tiny bit of character development. Moon yell is so cruel to Taehyung during chapters 1-3. But by chapter 2, she's attempting to understand him better. That's an improvement
● Grammar and vocals (6/15)
There were many errors in the grammar and punctuation aspects of the story. For one, you need to be very careful when using italics. They shouldn't be used so frequently, as you did in your prologue.
There is a rule when it comes to using them. They should only be used for small things, such as the title of a book, or an emphasis. The reason for this is that when you overuse them, it can be harder for your readers to understand.
Then, there were a lot of tense shifts. It's important that you choose one-past, or present tense, and that you stick with it through the entire story. Otherwise, your character is 2 places at once, which is impossible, and it's a grammar error.
One thing that I couldn't get over, was that you wouldn't put any end punctuation a lot of the time within the dialogue. Even when your characters are speaking, you need to close the sentence. There were also times when you would add more than one end punctuation mark at the end of a sentence, which is a big no-no.
I noticed a few typos here and there that can easily be fixed, and then some unnecessary words as well. You also tend to not use dialogue tags at all, nor do you use enough commas throughout the story in general. And lastly, you should never have two or more characters speaking in the same paragraph. That will 100% confuse your readers.
● Writing Style (6/10)
A lot of the words used didn't fit many of the sentences that they were used in. There was a lot of wrong word usage in general, along with repeat words. I mentioned all of this previously, which is why I won't go too in-depth with this here because I already have.
● Overall (⅖)
The storyline itself wasn't bad. But there are a lot of things that need to be worked on. I highly suggest going back over your story and fixing everything that you can. Then, I would visit an editor, a GD, and lastly, a reviewer once again.
● Personal Enjoyment (⅕)
I liked the storyline, but all of the writing errors prevented me from being able to enjoy the story. I was too hung up on those, and it kept messing me up as I attempted to read it.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Score: 54/100
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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