[ 𝐖 𝐄 𝐋 𝐂 𝐎 𝐌 𝐄 ]
𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲!
Welcome to the review shop of Espoir Community, 𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘂𝗯𝘀, where we won't just give you an honest review from a reader's point of view but a writer's point of view as well. No one i...
The title is intriguing and I couldn't find any other book with the same title on Wattpad. As for its connection to the story, at first, I thought it had no connection with the story but then, I thought it might have something to do with the protagonists' relationship. I am not perfectly sure about this, to be honest.
The story is still in the early stages so I hope the title's relation to the story becomes more evident in the future, otherwise I would suggest the author change it to something more relevant.
♪Cover: 4/5
The monochrome shades of the cover match the vibe of the book and the picture used is apt as well. The fonts used are pretty and they help in not making the cover look bland. Though the cover is simple, I think it goes well with the book.
♪Description: 7/10
The author has given two summaries in the description and both showcase different key points of the book.
The first summary reveals that Yoongi is a murderer but doesn't say anything about him regretting his actions, which is good as it can act as a twist for the reader, but then, the second summary reveals that Yoongi is someone who wants to repent for his bad actions.
Just by reading the summaries, the reader can put two and two together and conclude that Yoongi is a murderer and he regrets his actions, and so the story would mostly be about that. This doesn't allow much room for curiosity and anticipation. I suggest the author keep only one of the summaries and add something else-something intriguing-so the description doesn't seem empty and short.
♪Protagonist usage: 3.5/5
In the chapters present currently, the story is mostly focused on Yoongi's side of the story but the female protagonist is present as well. So far, not much has been revealed about the female protagonist, so I would suggest the author give focus on her as well in the future chapters.
♪Plot: 7/10
I am not sure in which direction the author will take the plot, but I do have a few guesses. In the chapters present, not much progress in the plot has taken place, the author seems to be focusing on developing a bond between the protagonists.
Yoongi's side of the story is quite interesting and I suggest the author go more in-depth about it [example: why did he do such a crime? His thought process at the time, etcetera]. Nothing about Dongmi's past has been revealed, but after reading the ted talk' chapter, I assume there is more to her past than the author has revealed yet.
♪Flow: 14/20
The scenes and chapters flow well together but the progress of the story is very slow. There are ten chapters present but not much that reveals the plot has happened yet, and it could be blamed on the chapters being short. I suggest the author make the pace of the story faster and increase the size of the chapters. The author can increase the pace by keeping only the scenes that are crucial to the story in the chapters.
♪Character development: 6/10
Yoongi shows regret his past actions and seem to understand the harmful impact of those careless actions, and that counts as character development for his character, but I feel like there's so much development that is left for his character. If he regrets his actions then he could do something more to repent himself other than self-loathing, and doing something to show how sorry he is. That can help him slowly forgive himself or at least, come close to accepting himself. As for the female protagonist, I couldn't see any character development, but that's a given since the story has not progressed much yet.
♪Grammar and vocals: 3/5
Though there aren't any big mistakes, I noticed some typos, missing words, and minor punctuation mistakes.
Example:
Chapter 2: -he sat down on his bed. his fingers gently
Here, the author should capitalize the first alphabet of the word after the period.
The author has also misused dashes in place of em-dashes. The author can avoid such mistakes by re-reading the chapter before publishing it and they can also use apps like Grammarly which make it easier to spot mistakes. The vocabulary used is understandable and quite simple with a few big words thrown in here and there, so I wouldn't suggest any changes in that.
♪Writing style: 7/10
The writing style is simple and straight to the point without any exciting buildups, so it can get bland after a while. I suggest the author try using metaphors and other literary devices to make the writing style more attractive. Though, I would say that the author has done a good job in describing the emotions as it's easy to tell what the character is feeling.
♪Overall: 3/5
The story was a good read but it was also very short. While writing the review I constantly felt like there wasn't much content to review the story. Aside from that, I think the story is good, only requiring a few changes.
♪Personal enjoyment: 3/5
I was interested to see how the author would progress the story. I liked the monochrome aesthetic as well. I hope the author will take the review positively. All the best for the future chapters!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Total marks: 61/100
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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