𝐋.𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 𝐂.𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐔𝐁𝐒 :: 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩

[ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 ]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Book title:: Nothing more
Author:: bigscarr12
Genre:: Romance, Drama, Fanfiction
Reviewer:: Mitali2203

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

∞

Title: 2/5

I couldn't find a connection between the story and the title. Since the story is still at an early stage, make a point of making the title give a glimpse of the story without giving too much.

∞ Cover: 3/5

A couple is shown with a dark theme. It wasn't too cliche nor something interesting. But, I loved the overall effect it had. But, the upper portion of the cover is a big no. Either replace it or remove it completely.

∞Description: 7 /10

It was a simple paragraph and I found some mistakes in the blurb as well. Honestly, It didn't intrigue me. I would have surely skipped it as if the blurb has so many grammatical mistakes, how much the book would have. Please, look into it. It needs severe editing.

∞ Protagonist: 2 /5

I can't understand who the protagonist is. Not because of the lack of plot but the terrible characterization. Four chapters should have been enough for a rough behavioral pattern of the characters but there are none.

∞ Plot:- 5/ 10

It is among those overused plots. Like getting kidnapped and being all goody with the kidnapper. Also, if it is something related to squid games add something related to it.

∞ Flow:- 5 /20

The flow was fast-paced with no explanations. It felt like the scenes were inconsistent. An example, when they were shopping but didn't in the last chapters they were fighting? So how could they act like friends?

∞ Character Development:- 4/ 10

In the first chapter, Yn was so courageous and in the next chapter, she was so naive. At first, she was shown as a badass woman but then a lame woman. Downhill character development.

∞ Grammar and vocabulary:- 7/15

At the end of the sentences, no periods were used. Many grammatical mistakes and phrases were used in the wrong context.

Here is an example,

The original text:-

Where do you want me to place her?" I turn around my smile now gone from my face

"In my chambers"

"B-But sir-" I glare, I hate when people disobey my orders

"She's my wife, I want her in my chambers. Nowhere else, got it?" He nods nervously, I turn back to Y/N. I open the door to the passenger's side and take her out of the car

"Take care of her" I place Y/N in the arms of the triangle mask and he nods walking away, I follow closely behind him making sure he's doing the things I tell him to do

"On the bed sir?" I nod as he places Y/N on the bed

"Yeah, thanks. Now go get the games set up for tomorrow" He nods leaving the room as I take off my mask

The edited one which I did:-

"Where do you want me to place her, sir?" I turn around and my smile is now gone from my face.{ He is a worker usage of sir, madam is essential }

"In my chambers," he ordered. { Imply the remainings, like how was the voice-soft, angry, remorseful}

"B-But sir-" I glare. I hate when people disobey my orders. { Use periods when separating two independent sentences and at the end of the sentences}

"She's my wife, I want her in my chambers. Nowhere else, got it?" He nods nervously, I turn back to Y/N. I open the door to the passenger's side and take her out of the car.

"Take care of her," I place Y/N in the arms of the triangle mask and he nods, walking away. I follow closely behind him making sure he's doing the things I tell him to do.{ here, a lot of mistakes regarding punctuations were made.}

"On the bed sir?" I nod as he places Y/N on the bed.

"Yeah, thanks. Now go get the games set up for tomorrow," He nods leaving the room as I take off my mask.

It was just a snippet and yet so many mistakes. Please be careful with grammar. Also, there were places where the comma wasn't essential but still placed, and at places where it was needed, it wasn't used.

∞ Writing style:- 6/ 10

There wasn't any narrative about the settings. There wasn't an effort to build the emotional appeal for the readers. You need to work on your writing skills. Many scenes were rushed.

∞ Overall:-3/5

The plot could be improved by some plot twists. It wasn't great bookwork, but it wasn't bad either. If characterization and grammatical perspective are given the importance it could be a good book.

The character development was terrible and it felt like their actions were out of nowhere. Also, add how the characters look rather than just telling their names. Explain the habits and manners of the characters. Make the readers hooked.

∞ Personal enjoyment:- 2 /5

Personally, didn't find the book enjoyable but if you work hard it could be a good book. Don't feel down because of the review I was made just to help you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Total:: 44/100

Please don't forget to follow your reviewer & vote for this chapter!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.