We Are Enemies | Hermione Granger x Male Reader

Frightening Change

(uh....hi. It's been a WHILE since i've written anything and i hopped right in so if i get things mixed up, i'm sorry)

Y/N laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He found himself doing this often. He played with the necklace around his neck, then took it off to look at the photo inside. It was always the same photo behind the glass: a picture of him and his mother. She looked beautiful as always, dressed nicely with her arm wrapped around Y/N. He had a bright smile on his face, and Y/N stared for a long time. He looked so different. Quite awkwardly, he tried to copy the smile he had in the photo, and failed miserably. In his reflection in the glass, he looked nowhere near the same and the smile was probably the fakest out there. Such an action felt odd during this time. 

Y/N quickly closed the pendant, not able to look at how happy he was before anymore. He wrapped it around his neck, then continued twisting it and playing with it as his thoughts took over once more. Tomorrow, Christmas break would be over, and Hermione would come back. Y/N normally never brushed off Ron and Harry, seeing them as a permanent trio that never went anywhere without the other, but he couldn't care less about the other two. Maybe about Ron, that redhead was cool. Harry, despite apologizing, isn't likable. As of now, anyway. It was obvious that Hermione talked him into it. Y/N couldn't go off on him for it; he also apologized because Hermione wanted him to. That's it. 

So far, Y/N's thought-up conversation starters with Hermione when she came back we either pathetic or plain out awkward. But no one actually expected him to be good with girls, did they? Just because he snogged a girl in 4th year doesn't mean he was an expert at relationships. What Y/N and Hayden had couldn't even be called that; it was a simple fling. He was nervous even then, and if Hayden hadn't leaned in first, that kiss would have never happened. 

With Hermione, his whole body took control of his actions. It felt natural. Yes, Tyler may have given him a very unasked for and awkward "advice" about girls (despite him not having any experience, mind you), but he didn't expect to actually use it. Not yet, anyway. He supposed he was fanciable, but he's too busy being surrounded by death to surround himself with love. Those two simply don't work together. And that's probably why Y/N is so afraid of what him and Hermione were doing. No, he's not afraid of snogging. He'll do that gladly. But what if something happened to her? Worse, because of him? Or what if he dies and she'll be left alone anyways, all of the work of getting her would mean nothing? He's doing it to protect her, but he's also stripping her own choices away. 

At the same time, Y/N wanted her. So much that that it also scared him. This was a dangerous game to play, but the best of games are dangerous, right? He couldn't bear the thought of seeing her with another man. Hell, he'd gotten jealous over something as simple as Harry taking her to the Slughorn party because she had no one else to go with. Y/N was simply too used to Harry being a dick this year to realize that he still cared about his friends very much, and won't leave them out. Jealousy played with her as well. After finding Y/N and Triss in a rather compromising situation, she simply walked off and refused to talk to him. Y/N also thought about how jealous she was with Hayden. How long has she liked him? Since 4th year? Or possibly a little bit earlier?

No. There's no way. 

And now, look at where they were at. Blinded with love, or whatever it was. Whatever it was, it ended up with Hermione against a wall and Y/N kissing her like he was a drowning man gasping for air. Whatever it was, it was killing him but somehow still giving him what he needed to stay alive. The good part of life. Y/N thought for a moment, and wondered if everything would go away if him and Hermione just ran away from the magical world. Change names. Stay together forever.

Okay, seriously, enough of that shit, lover boy, he scolded himself mentally.

Y/N turned on his side, his body suddenly realizing that he was desperate for sleep, since he had been staying up so late lately. Y/N's eyes fluttered, and then fell shut.