100 Days Before I Die

D- 21

June 24 D-21 Fall inlove.

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They said, the worst kind of pain is when your heart cries and your eyes are dry. My eyes hide the pain, but my heart is fragile.

I started talking to Dark Harris, I shared with him my experiences since then. I had no escape incident, I told him everything. The whole time I refrained from crying, my cold posture remained. Tahimik lamang s'ya pero alam kong nakikinig s'ya. He always knows how to make me comfortable.

"I've been in the hospital all my life so I also like adventure." I smiled. I felt trembles, his gaze makes my heart beat even faster. Dahil sa kaniya naging adventure na rin ang mga natitirang sandali ng buhay ko.

"Fvck." pakawala n'ya ng mahinang mura.

Nakikitaan ko ng awa ang kaniyang mga mata. I don't want to be pitied anymore. His gaze was very cold and dark. What to do? Mali ba na ibinahagi ko sa kaniya ang lahat?

I trust him, I don't trust his words but I trust his actions. Words are just words, he could break them or change his mind anytime.

He touched my chin at bahagyang itinaas, nagkatitigan na kami ngayon. I could see the anxiety on his face as if he was deep in thought. By now I can say that I can read him, as if the barrier of his secrets was temporarily disappearing in this place. May pinagdadaanan din ba s'ya?

"Don't believe them. T-Tinatakot ka lang nila." he said coldly. Mas lalo akong naguguluhan dahil nakitaan ko ng takot ang kaniyang mga mata.

This guy is really mysterious, that's why I am still here. His mystery made me stay.

"Hindi sila Diyos para lagyan ng limitasyon ang buhay mo." he added. His voice was cracked as if he was affected. Is he?

I turned my gaze outside. Ang kaninang maaliwalas na kalangitan ay napupuno na ngayon ng madilim na ulap. Mukhang uulan ng malakas.

"B-But I could feel that...." tumigil ako saglit dahil nanginginig na talaga ako. Shit! I am scared. "I-I'm d-dying...." patuloy ko.

"Y-You are not dying. Iniisip mo na mamatay ka, kaya ganon ang nararamdaman mo. Kapag hindi mo iyon iniisip, mas magiging masaya ka. Huwag mo na isipin ang sinabi sayo ng doctor." he coldly said. Ginulo n'ya ang aking buhok at napangiti s'ya ng kunti. "Believe me." he added. His voice was full of sincerity. I should believe him?

"Let's forget about it... " I seriously said.

Wala akong natanggap na tugon mula sa kaniya. Napaiwas tingin s'ya, ang tanging alam ko lang ay maging s'ya ay hindi mapalagay dahil sa nalaman n'ya ang tungkol sakin. Hindi na ako ang babaeng kikilalanin n'ya na ma-curious pa s'ya dahil sa pagkakataong ito ay alam na n'ya ang lahat.

He suddenly stood up to close the window. May ilaw naman dito sa loob kaya hindi madilim. Mula sa nakasarang sliding window ay natatanaw ko pa rin ang mga nagliliparang ibon. They're searching for shelter. Sana makahanap sila ng pansamantalang masisilungan.

Bumuhos na ang malakas na ulan. Maging ang hampas ng hangin ay naging malakas. Binalik ko ang aking paningin kay Dark Harris na ngayon ay nagtitimpla ng kape. Bumalik s'ya sa tabi ko dala ang dalawang tasa, napatingin ako roon. Ang nasa isang cup ay Dark Coffee at yung nasa kabila naman ay gatas.

"We have no choice but to stay here tonight." he said seriously. Napatingin ako sa kama, maliit lamang pero kasya naman ang dalawang tao. Seriously? Matutulog kami na magkatabi? Nakatabi ko na s'ya matulog pero nasa malaking kama naman iyon. Malayo ang distansya namin roon but dito? I think magkadikit talaga kami dahil sa liit ng kama.