July 18- 20 (Dㅡ 46- 48)
PS. Unexpected moments
(It means Pein Claire Clifford failed on doing her list)
July 21 D- 49 Forgive and be generous.
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Where am I? Why is there so much darkness? I can’t die like this! Not right now! I sobbed while screaming.
I have to get up! No matter where I am right now, I have no idea! But I have to return!
What day is it right now? I made him a promise that we would meet again at the abandoned park, but I’m not sure if that day is today, tomorrow, or already past?
My mind is awake even when my body is sleeping. I want to speak out and ask my mother, who is currently sitting next to me, to wake me up. I have to get up! Is this something I’m feeling because I’m tired?
Sleeping paralysis. I feel it right now.
The last thing I remember was that the nurses were holding me, and they poked something in my arm, causing me to lose consciousness.
Nakarinig ako ngayon ng matinding ingay na hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling. Maging ang bawat tibok ng puso ko ay naririnig ko ngayon.
I heard Mommy crying.
“Sweetie, please wake up. Mommy is right here, I promise I won’t deny you anything you want. Even if your Daddy hates me, I won’t allow you to feel like you’re dead even if you’re still here.”
I want to give her a firm hug, but I am unable to move or open my eyes. Why can’t I wake up even though I’m not yet dead?
“Mommy!” My mind shouted out loud. Mom held my hand while I felt like I could move my body gradually.
“M-Mom.” I said with my teary eyes.
“A-Are you really awake, sweetie?” Ngiti ni Mommy. Tumango ako sa kaniya. Napaiyak s’ya ulit at niyakap ako. Napakaiyakin talaga n’ya, hindi ba s’ya napapagod umiyak?
“W-What day is it?” I huskily asked. Binalingan n’ya ako ng tingin bago nagsalita.
“You passed out three days ago, and it’s been four days now.” tugon ni Mommy saka n’ya hinaplos ang mukha ko.
Apat na araw?! Ibig sabihin Wednesday na ngayon?
“Mom, where is he? Is he doing well?” I asked and looked into my mother’s eyes. She looked away from me and smiled weakly. Daddy would not have done anything bad to him.
“I-I’m sorry, sweetie.” Mommy said sadly. Anger immediately formed in my heart because of my mother’s answer.
“I can’t control your father’s anger. Ginawa ko ang dapat kung gawin. Tinulungan ko siyang makatakas sa Daddy mo. Alam ko na mahalaga s'ya sayo Pein. Gagawin ko rin ang lahat maprotektahan kayo.” she added. She looked into my eyes. My mother’s eyes are now very sad. I can’t do anything to ease her sadness now. Kahit paano, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko kay Mommy.
“I don’t know why your father is taking too much.” she said trembly. Is she scared?
My whole body trembled at what Mommy said. Daddy won’t stop until he gets what he wants.
“I-I’ll do anything for you, Pein. I always failed as your mother. I'm sorry.” Mommy said sincerely. Tears fell from her lonely eyes again.
Hindi man n’ya alam pero sa ginawa nila ni Daddy sakin ay inabandona nila ang anak nila. Is that what they did to my sister? I have no intention of finding out about that yet.
BINABASA MO ANG
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