𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮..𝙙.𝙢

fifty three.

War i think is a strange thing. The battle scene is harsh and unforgiving. Bodies lay scattered all around with the nauseating scent of blood filling the air. It surrounds me. Suffocating me.

And as i look around my heart sinks into my chest and fills with pain and sorrow.

I want this to end.

The screams hurt my ears. The cry's for help. The cry's for mercy. The sounds of spells bouncing off walls causing them to shatter. I flinch when one comes too close for comfort. I push myself back against the nearest wall and slowly peak my head around the corner to see a deatheater toying with a young boy. His arm is dripping blood from a nasty looking gash on his arm. His face is covered in dirt and grime, his clothes torn and tattered. Tears fall freely down his face. The deatheater slowly approach's the boy who's backed himself up against a wall.

I take a deep breathe and swallow against the fear threatening to pull me down. I jump out from behind the wall and throw a quick jinx at the back of the deatheater.

He dropped instantly falling face first into the concrete. He lets out a enraged scream from his immobilized state. The young boy looked up instantly a look of relief on his face that quickly evaporates.

Suddenly i'm all too aware of the blood that covers my body. The way it leaves my skin feeling stiff. He looks at me like he's afraid of me. Like i didn't just save his life. It's the most horrifying thing iv ever seen. I suck in a short gasp and try to hide my hurt from him.

I look down at the huge gash on his arm and bite my lip. It looked painful. I silently heal the wound with a simple snap of my fingers. He looks down at the gash and watches as the skin pulls itself back together till all that's left is the shiny wet blood on his arm. He looks up and me surprised. "Thank you" He whispers. I nod my head and signal for him to leave. He nods his head scrambles to find his wand that he had dropped. Once he finally does he looks back at me once more giving me a curt nod before running off. 

I watch him run out of the corridor and turn my eyes back to the deatheater laying on the ground. Tightening my grip on my wand i slowly walked forward and pushed him over so that he was laying on his back. Once he was finally on his back i could see his face. His hair was slicked back with patches of grey littering his dark hair with a few day old stubble. Id recognize him to be Rodolphus Lestrange. Bellatrixes husband. I suck in a sharp breath.

"You bitch" he spit angrily. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. I tilted my head to the side as he struggled to move trying in vain to break the spell to no advel.

"Your dead you dumb bitch. Dead." He growled showing all his teeth.

"No" I said softly bending down to his level. He let out another angry growl his body shaking with fury.
"You are." I whispered closely to his ear before i stood back up looking down at him. I pointed my wand at him slowly taking a deep breath before letting the spell roll off my tongue once more.

"Avada Kedavra"

The spell exploded out of my wand in a spit of green so bright i had to squint my eyes. Looking down at him as the last of the green faded i couldn't help but be shocked with myself. Id taken two lives this day.

And i felt nothing.

No guilt. No sorrow. No remorse. Nothing.

I couldn't help the sharp intake of breath as i stumbled back away from the body. I searched myself for any drop of emotion and couldn't find any.

I whip around at the sound of glass crunching underfoot. My wand already raised and at the ready when my heart freezes in my chest. Fear wraps it's hands around my throat and suddenly it's hard to breathe properly.

Bellatrix.

She's looking down at the ground at what used to be her husband who is now very much dead. She stares at the body for what feels like forever. Then her head snaps over to me and the look on her face is terrifying. I tighten my grip on my wand and will my shaky hands go steady.

Before i can even register what's happening my wand is flying out of my hand and i'm being dragged towards her. Glass and debris are slicing my skin open as im being dragged across the ground and i can't help a whimper as i feel the blood poor down my back and arms and before i can brace myself i'm being thrown into a wall.

I fall to the ground in a grunt and try to get to my feet. If i don't i'll surly die. But just as i get to my feet she's grabbing my hair and shoving me into the center of the room. I stumble but manage to stay up right.

I look up and look around and try to find some way out of this.

"You will suffer for this." She screeches loudly taking several steps towards me. It takes everything in me not to back way. I stand my ground not moving an inch.  She stares at me and if looks could kill id be a goner. I glare back which only makes her smile. Before i can do anything to stop her she points her wand at my chest and whispers one word i dreaded ever hearing again.

"Crucio"

A sudden scream rips itself from my lungs. It forces itself free from my chest without any warning. And it's a scream so loud so violent it brings me to my knees. My hands are on my head and my head is between my knees as if i could somehow escape the pain by curling in on myself. My skin feels like it's on fire. Like i'm burning from the inside out and it's so blinding i'm beginning to see white spots behind my eyes.

My throat feels raw like iv been screaming for much longer then i actually have. My agony left in the wind. There's a strong taste of blood in my mouth and just when i think my body can't take this kind of pain any longer the curse is broken and there's a faint clatter and then i hear someone being pinned against the wall.

The pain still hums through my body but i ignore it as i quickly as i physically can. I sway slightly as i get to my feet. I will myself to ignore the pain and focus. I take i deep breathe and look up at the scene in front of me.

Draco has his wand pointed at Bellatrix who is pinned up against the wall. Iv never been so happy to see someone in my entire life. I have to fight the sudden urge to just lay down and cry. I turn over to him entirely making sure he wasn't hurt in any way. I let out a sigh of relief when i found nothing out of the sort besides a few holes in his robes and a bleeding cut on his cheekbone.

He looked at me terrified. He took a step towards me forgetting to focus on keeping bellatrix against the wall.

"Draco NO!!" I screamed as i watched her drop down off the wall and point her wand at Draco. Before i have time to realize what i'm doing my wand is in my hand once more and i'm sprinting towards Draco. I shove him to the ground. I point my wand at her and don't hesitate screaming as i say the incantation. The spell hits her so hard she's thrown back against the wall. Her body slumping against the wall as the spell went rampant through her body.

I watched as the spell took her life. Her body slumped to the side. I stood there staring at the body as if she'd stand up. That the most unforgivable curse somehow wouldn't be able to take her.

I take in a sharp breath and close my eyes against the panic. If i thought my soul was redeemable before i was sorely mistaken.

I'm afraid my soul is damned.