Burn for You

5

Serena
I didn't see Grayson again. Not for a long time and I didn't think about it.

At random I would think about our strange, yet personal, midnight walk. It was odd but provided me with a comforting feeling that I wanted to hold onto. But I wasn't begging or hoping it would happen again. I just enjoyed the thought.

"Scotch, double."

"You got it." I smiled as I turned to grab the bottle before pouring it.

"You know. I come here a lot."I served the customers around the man as he spoke. "I've always wanted to talk to you."

"Is that right?" I said lowly, shuffling back and forth to fulfill the orders of the oddly full bar.

His finger spun around the rim as he stared at me.

"Saul. Fuck are you doin' man?" A glanced up at the man who had just come from the clubhouse. "Margarita is lookin' for you! You told me you were supposed to be here."

The supposed Saul looked at me before knocking his glass over the bar and pushing past the man.

"Sorry, ma'am." The man slapped a twenty on the bar and walked off.

I rolled my eyes and stashed the twenty away in my front pocket before beginning to clean up the mess.

"Double scotch." I repeatedly hummed as I cleaned the mess up.

Grayson likes scotch. Wonder if he still drinks.

"Just cause he doesn't come here doesn't mean he's stopped Drinking S..not like I'd be a bad thing..." I mumbled to myself.

The night was longer than usual. The order played over in my head as different voices. For some reason, I began remembering people and paying more attention to the people who ordered scotch.

...

I sat quietly and anxiously in the circle of chairs. My habit of being nervous is to act like I'm not. My eyes are wider and I become more playful, hoping I can hide the fact that I really want to throw up.

But don't tell anybody that.

"Hi, my name is Alissa." The blonde girl with big green eyes and slightly smudged mascara, smiled nervously as she greeted the group. Her arms wrapped around her slim waist, her hands clasping the sides of her short, black dress.

She was pretty. Almost makes me wonder what made her come here but I guess judging people off of looks, especially in our situation, never ends well. It's not like you'd expect me to be here.

"Hi, Alissa." We all greeted harmoniously.

"I'm 24 and uh I'm an addict," she chuckled to herself, her eyes slightly watering at the admission "I am..was addicted to pills and uh alcohol.." she put her head down, her blonde hair covering her face as she paused her speaking.

"I have been sober for two months and fuck is it the hardest thing I've ever done.." she gasped lightly as she straightened out and glanced around the room. "I have a son, he's four and he's the only reason I'm alive so...yea. That's about it." She chewed on her bottom lip as silence engulfed the room.

Tracy, the director, smiled before beginning to clap. Everybody else followed suit, Alissa looking slightly embarrassed to be here.

"That was great Alissa. It was really brave of you to admit that... would anybody else like to go next?" Tracy looked around the circle of broken people, her brown curls bouncing with every movement.

I swallow hard as I prepared myself to step up to go next. Ya know it's kinda like a presentation that you don't want to do but you want the grade for. Thankfully, I've always been good at public speaking.

"I'll go," I said proudly, my voice almost bouncing off the walls.

"Ok." Tracy mouthed, her hand sticking out, gesturing for me to begin.

I cleared my throat and straightened out my bag on my lap before looking out into the group. "Hi, my name is Serena."

"Hi, Serena." The harmonious greeting rang out once again.

"I'm 28 and I'm an addict. I was addicted to alcohol for 8 years and I have been sober for five. I have spent my life slumped over in alleyways and working at a job I hated for more money than I probably will ever see again," I licked my dry, almost dusted at this point, lips and uncross my legs "I am thankful for my father for pulling me out of my drunken lifestyle and forcing me into rehab. He is my main reason for living and probably the only reason I'm alive right now." My voice faded out as I looked down into my lap.

I felt like crying and throwing up all at once by the time I was finished but I know I definitely said enough to not feel guilty later.

The sound of loud clapping rang through the air as I continued to try and pull myself together.

"That was great Serena. Thank you for sharing."

I nodded with a small smile as my fingers danced behind my bag.

The rest of the meeting was the same. People telling their stories, most of them with families, some who have developed long-term health problems due to their addictions, and some who were far too young to be in this position.

"You smoke?" I hummed and looked at the blonde girl standing next to me, a cigarette between her lips as her hair blew along her face.

I shook my head and looked back ahead of me.

"You should." She muttered as she blew smoke from her lips.

I looked down at her, my eyebrow slightly raised. "Why should I?"

"It helps."

I chuckled softly. "Yea.. no thanks. I'm not replacing another addiction with a new one." She turned to face me, her sunken eyes and smudged black mascara, highlighting her lack of emotion.

"What's that supposed to mean." She said lowly.

I glanced at her from the side, a slight smirk on my lips. She was young but she acted as if she was younger than 24. I wouldn't blame her, doing adult things at a young age sometimes doesn't make you more mature, just tired. "It means I don't smoke but to each its own." She hummed before flicking the cigarette off into the street.

"Yea, ok."