Burn for You

9

Serena
I began feeling sick the day after the party. I don't think it's food poisoning but I know that I'm definitely not going to work tonight.

My goal is to try and feel better by tomorrow so I can go back to work quickly.

I trudged down the hallway and to my kitchen, hoping I wasn't too lazy to go to the store at some point this week and I had juice.

To my surprise, there was juice. Just not enough to drink.

I shook the now empty bottle over my mouth begging for even a drop.

I felt so dry. My throat, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my skin. I felt miserable. I wanted to give in and call my dad, ask him to take care of me or even baby me like when I was little.

But I won't. Yesterday was his birthday and he's at work.

"You can do this Serena," I mumbled incoherently to myself before falling backward onto my bed.

I don't get sick very often so when I do, it's torture and I can barely take it. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of death and I just barely make it out.

I ended up falling asleep without knowing it.

I woke up drenched in sweat. It was as if I pissed myself all the way up to my ears.

I peeled myself from the sheets and trudged into my bathroom. I ignored my horrific reflection and began to slowly strip. My clothes felt like I'd jumped into the pool with them on.

When I threw them down to the ground they made the sound of a wet bathing suit after it's been ripped from your body.

I sat down at the bottom of my shower, the water running down my back as I ignore the fact that I'd have to redo my hair later.

I closed my eyes and held my knees to my chest. It sounded like a waterfall in my ears, the warmth reminding me of the sun on my back.

I don't have many good memories of my younger life. I barely remember it at all but I do remember when my aunt took me on a trip with her before it got bad.

I remember the smile on my face as I prepared myself to jump from the cliff. The fear that surged through my veins and the excitement I felt that wouldn't let my smile falter were one of the best things I've ever felt.

My aunt's hand in mine as she asked me if I was ready, the braided bun she wore almost undone from the walk up to the cliff, and her smile as we stared down below us.

When we jumped, her hand was still in mine. She didn't let go until we were already under and when I swam up, the first thing I heard was her excitement-filled high pitched voice.

I love that memory. But I'd never go back. Redoing everything again...never.

...

The next day I was only worse. I couldn't eat and if I tried, the smell alone would make me hack.

I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling. I was forcing my eyes to stay open as I couldn't sleep anymore. I was too uncomfortable to try and trying only made my anxiety about it worse.

I hadn't called in to say that I wasn't coming.

"I hope...Grayson doesn't come..." my dry and pasty lips spit out the words as if they were my last.

Before I knew it, I was asleep. At least my body was. My mind was still running, the time going past painfully slow.

...

My body jolted awake when three loud knocks rang through my apartment. I lay there for a moment, trying to decide if I could even get up to get it.

I forced myself to at least get on the ground and try to crawl. They could have juice.

I lowered myself to the ground, pulling the comforter over top of me and dragging it down the hallway with my near limp body.

I slowly turned the lock and knob before pulling the door open.

I looked up to see a very tall man standing in the dark hallway. "Shit, Serena." I turned to crawl away, hoping the man would come back later with juice.

"Bleh bleh bleh."

I ignored whatever he was saying and continued crawling or I thought I was crawling.

I stopped my limbs from doing whatever they were trying to do and went limp.

"Blah, ble le bleh bleh."

"Nice smells," I mumbled, the large man vibrating as he continued to lug me along.

I'm so thirsty I think I'm tasting juice right now. I don't know why my face is wet but it's pretty good being delusional.

"Bleh bleh, Serena. Le blah?" I nodded at the dark man in front of me.

I closed my eyes and smiled slightly.

"Peach milkshake."