Burn for You

18 Part One

Serena
My tear-filled eyes followed him as he stood up and walked over to me. My hands stayed in my lap as he knelt in front of me, still barely below me.

"I'm sorry, Serena."

His soft whispered apology sounded so sincere and familiar, that I couldn't hold my tears back anymore.

"Please just...don't apologize," I muttered through my cries.

I wiped my eyes, not being able to catch the next trail of tears fast enough. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," I whined.

He pouted "you had every right." He cupped my face in his hands as he used his thumbs to soothe my tears. I leaned into his hand, hoping it would soothe my urge to just hold onto him.

I continued to cry and he continued to do his best to stop me.

"You don't know me, Grayson. I'm begging you not to love me." His eyebrows furrowed as he stood up, my head following his hands.

"You can beg all you want, Serena. It's too late for me." He mumbled to me.

I tugged on his shirt. "You need to listen to me. Please...I can not make your life better." He clicked his tongue as his palms pressed against my tears, wiping them from my face as he lowered back down to a squat.

"We don't have to talk about it anymore, Serena. I'm not forcing you to love me. I just didn't want you to think something else was going on. It's ok."

I gave in. My arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him into my body. I hiccuped as my cries calmed down, his hands rubbing circles into my back.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

...

I woke up in a dimly lit room, my head killing me and my entire face feeling puffy. I didn't really feel like getting up. I just wanted to lay there.

I can not say that I don't love Grayson because I am almost as sure as he seems to be, that I love him as he loves me. Despite this, I can admit that I am not who he thinks I am or who he wants to be with.

And when he asks why I say this, I will never be ready to his face when I tell him.

"Serena." I turned my head towards the door.

"You can come in." I cleared my throat as I sat up in bed.

He walked in, the same pajamas draping off his hips and the same tight, black T-shirt further defining his muscles. "I know that I said a lot earlier-"

"I'm in love with you too, Grayson. So please...no more apologizing."

He stood there, all seven feet of him, with an expression of genuine shock at my confession.

"Grayson, come here please."

I mentally prepared myself to repeat the story I have only told two other people in my life. I, as the person who experienced it, never wanted to hear this story again.

"I promise you, I am not even close to who you think I am." A tear rolled down my cheek, the last tear I will allow myself for the rest of this story. "And after I tell you this, I fully understand whatever you decide to do."

He looked confused, a twinge of confidence that almost made me want to shut up and just let it go. Just pretend it didn't happen and be happy with him.

But I can't do that. That's selfish and I need him to understand who I am, who I was, and how I got there.

"If at any point, you need to take a break, do not hesitate to let me know ok?" His lip twitched slightly, that sliver of confidence disappearing completely.

"Serena what are you...okay."

"Okay."

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