Burn for You

35

Grayson
"I'm not letting you go alone."

I looked down at Serena, a soft and concerned look on her face. I wanted to take her home and cuddle up to her, tell her how much I love her until she fell asleep but I couldn't.

I knew what would happen if I brought her here after not coming for so long. I knew how much sir adored Emilia but I couldn't not make it known that I wasn't with her anymore.

Maybe I thought bringing Serena would make him realize it was over.

"Stop it. I'll be right back." I pulled my arm away from her and walked off down the rest of the hallway. I felt her staring at me and I saw her face flash in my mind, the disappointment and worry haunting me despite it only happening a few seconds ago.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath before entering sir's study.

"Grayson Vankaro, who is that?"

I sighed as I stood in front of my mother, sir, and Emilia who was holding on tightly to sirs arm.

"She's my girlfriend sir." I was met with a powerful slap to my cheek, the scratches on my face tingling as if they had been reopened.

"Elijah!" My mother reached up, her hand grazing my slightly bloody cheek.

"You have a wife, you moron. Are you telling me you brought your mistress into my home to embarrass your family?"

I gently took my mother's hand from my cheek and held it in my hand.

"She's not a mistress, sir. Emilia and I are officially divorced."

He scoffed, patting Emilia's arm so she would let go of him. He walked toward his desk and sat down, slightly spinning back and forth with his hand resting on his chin.

"Son, I thought you loved Emilia? Weren't you the one who got her pregnant and almost ruined your life?"

I shook my head at the straight-faced man below me. "I didn't almost ruin anything, sir."

"Look at you. Avoiding my questions. What'd I tell you about that?"

My heart stopped for a moment, my ears almost tuning out everything until there was nothing but a buzz but I stopped myself. I can't do that, I have to listen.

"Emilia told me you refused to give her anything in your 'divorce'. Is that right? You would do that to the woman you love?"

I ran my hands through my hair, closing my eyes softly as I tried to think about what I was going to say. My stomach was turning and my head was burning with memories of the last ten years of my life.

"Answer me!" My eyes shot open as there was a loud bang on the desk, my father's face turned red as he was now standing up and leaning on his hands against his desk.

"You spend ten years of your life, disappointing me. The only good thing was your wife and look at you...don't you feel bad for pretending to love her for ten years? Who wouldn't cheat after being treated so terribly?"

I glanced around, my mother leaning over in her chair, her hand over her face. Emilia, leaned gently against the desk, a pitiful look on her face.

"I didn't- I didn't..."

I wish he'd stop.

"You deserved everything that happened to you, Grayson. She did what she thought was best and you divorce her for it? Take away anything and everything she knows? She lost her children too Grayson! She lost her husband and now she has to watch a man she thought loved her be with another woman, how do you think that feels!?"

His shoes clicked as he walked towards me, the dreadful feeling in my stomach intensified as he got closer. Sir, who stood three inches below me, is the only thing I'm afraid of.

"I hope you're happy now son. You tricked this young woman into wasting her life all because you pretended to love her and look at you...pathetic. Walking around like you're innocent...never thought I'd raise such a worthless child."

My heart was beating so loud in my chest I couldn't hear myself breathing. I wasn't sure I was breathing.

I just want to hold her hand.

"Say something you imbecile. Say something or get THE FUCK out of my office!"

I glanced at my mother who was now turned away, her legs crossed and embarrassment written in bold letters across her face. I wanted to beg her to help me. I want to help myself but I can't. Nothing could come out despite wanting to burn this fuckers house down with everything in it. But I couldn't.

I turned around and left, my body feeling like a capsule of nothing but air. I felt drained.

When I saw her, her head resting on her knees and her hair falling over her shoulders as she sat on the marble floor, I wanted to pick her up and carry her home. I wanted to promise her that I would never treat her like she didn't matter as long as I walked the earth. I wanted to tell her about how I beat up Emilia's brother before this, reminding him to never let his sister near her again. I wanted to tell her that I was proud of my scratched face because it meant that I did for her what she would do for someone else. I wanted to kiss her and whisper to her how much she meant to me even if I couldn't find the words. But I couldn't.

My shell walked past her as she abruptly stood up and followed me out.  She didn't say a word but I felt her hand brush against my sleeve as I moved away from her, unable to let her touch me. Not after I, a seven foot man who has two fears, and could probably knock anybody out with a punch, just let his father, his number one fear, berate him.

I couldn't tell her that I am nothing. And I definitely couldn't tell her I was never going to be worth it.

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