Burn for You

47

Serena
A pit formed in my stomach as I released myself from his arms and sat up. I leaned up to turn the light on, scared to look back over at him.

"Grayson..."

I felt him slide up from under the comforter, his hand resting on my lower back. "What's wrong? Are you really pregnant?"

"No! No... that's not..." I took a deep breath as I tried to process what I wanted to say to him. How I was going to say it to him. "You know what happened to me...and I think we both know how damaging that can be for a child in many forms...right?"

I looked up at him, confusion and worry setting into his features.

"What's wrong? You're ok right?"

I chuckled softly "depends on your definition of okay." I mumbled. "I know you want kids and I know you've had trouble with having them..." I clicked my teeth slightly, my bottom lip slightly shaking.

I always doubt Grayson's ability to understand me but it doesn't stop me from being terrified.

"Take your time, flower. There's no rush..." his voice was soft and concerned like he was reassuring a child.

"I can't have kids, Grayson." I spit out. "I don't really remember why but I know that it's because what was happening to me and the intensity of which it was happening, wasn't supposed to happen. It...damaged me."

I watched as his mind turned trying to figure out what to say next, how to react. The more those wheels turned the more those sweet brown eyes turned into those sad ones I knew too well.

"What... does that mean?" He asked quietly almost as if he was asking himself.

My heart shattered to hear his broken words. The disappointment I never knew I'd feel shocked the wounds I didn't know I had.

"I'm sorry, Grayson."

He opened his mouth slightly, his neck twitching as if he was trying to speak but he was choked up. His eyes flickered across my features like he was reminding himself he loved me.

His arms reached out for me like they were lost and looking for comfort themselves.

We wrapped each other up, my cheek looking for the sound of his heartbeat to rest against.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, pressing a kiss into his solid chest.

"It's ok. It's ok." He murmured.

His hand brushed down my hair to my back as he held me tightly with the other. I listened to his heartbeat as it kept its slow almost sad rhythm.

I've known since I was twenty that I couldn't have kids; that I'm infertile but I never mourned the idea. I never thought I'd even be in a position where I wanted to have children. It was such a foreign idea to me that I genuinely forgot about it, never asking myself if I even wanted the choice to begin with.

But with Grayson and having to watch him mourn the idea of ever having biological children with me, all of these thoughts I never had came rushing in.

"We...we don't have to have kids, Serena. I just need you. That's it."

He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself of his words.

"Grayson-"

"No, don't say it. It's not your fault, you didn't get to choose."

I tilted my head up to look at him. His stubble highlighted his jawline, a dimple I've never noticed hiding as he slightly chewed on his bottom lip.

"Grayson-"

"No."

I smiled and chuckled lightly. Despite his obvious worry and current mourning of our future family, he still tried to worry more about me.

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you," I said lowly, a smile pulling on the corners of my lips.

His head snapped down, his neck slightly shrinking in as he revealed a sweet puppy dog expression.

"I love you too, Flower."

I squeezed my arms tighter around his waist, a slight giggle escaping his lips.

"What was that?" I hummed.

"Nothing." He leaned back, his previously sad expression completely wiped from his face. My subtle love distraction working.

I hummed and smirked down at him as he held me on top of his chest.

"I love you so much," I murmured, his eyes lighting up at my words. "I love everything about you. Your eyes."

I watched as his eyelids fluttered shut before I placed a gentle kiss on each one.

"I love your forehead all the way to your nose and its cute little square point." I kissed in a T-shape across his forehead and down the bridge of his nose till I met the tip.

He let out a satisfied hum as his eyelids remains closed, his hands slightly kneading at my waist.

"I love your cheeks and your scratchy stubble that hides the dimple I didn't know you had." 

He chuckled softly as I kissed along his beard and down his neck.

"You know my absolute most favorite thing about you though?"

He shook his head slowly as if he was in a trance. I smiled as I thought about the devious thing I was about to do.

"I love your smile," I pecked his lips slowly then again when he poked his lips out again. "And...your laugh!" My fingers dug into his sides as he exploded into laughter, his arms weakly tightening around me in an attempt to get me to stop.

"Serena!" He giggled his eyes watering from the laughter. "Fuck..stop it!" He laughed, his jaw clenching down as he tried to stop.

"Tell me you love me!" I shouted over his laughter as my fingers moved from his back to his sides.

"I love you! Fuck I love you!"

"Not good enough Grayson! Tell me you love me!"

"Okok! Just stop, please!"

I took a deep breath and let my hands rest on his sides, his chest moving up and down as he slowly stopped laughing and only a smile was left.

"That was torture."

I hummed and nodded.

I folded my hands over his chest before I rested my chin on top of my fingers. "Tell me you love me," I murmured.

He lifted the back of my tank top and brushed his fingers along my back.

"I love you so much, Serena. So much that I would do anything for you. I would burn for you, Flower."

I slightly pulled myself up so that my lips just barely touched his. "You would burn for me huh?" I whispered against his lips.

"Mhm." He hummed, his eyes softening as he stared up at me. "I would burn for you." He murmured.

I lifted myself slightly as I cupped his cheeks, pressing my lips softly against his.

He moaned softly as he held me against him.

"I would burn for you too," I murmured into his mouth. "I would burn for you too."

Please remember to vote and comment on the chapter! Thank you for joining me on this journey of Serena and Grayson. I truly cherish every single one of you and every chapter I've written. This is the end of the main story but that doesn't mean I won't write one or two after stories. I love you all and I hope you enjoyed "burn for you" <3