*recap*
chase: i love you.
*end of recap*
a couple of seconds of silence go by, he sighs and his grip around me gets tighter.
chase: i don't know what's wrong and i won't know until you tell me but whatever it is i'm here for you, we're married now; we're done playing games. we're grown up addi, we can't play games like that anymore. we need to communicate-
i move chases arms from around me and sit up.
addison: chase shut up. maybe all i want is silence and instead of that i'm getting annoyed. i know that we're adults and i know that we're done playing games but i just want peace and quiet right now.
chase: well talk to me first addi. please? tell me why you're upset. if you want another baby then that's great and let's get to it, we can start now. just tell me what you want and i more than likely can give it to you.
chase stands up and turns the light on, he walks over to the bed and sits next to me.
chase: is that what you want? you want another baby?
i look at chase and my eyes start to water.
chase: can you just respond to me.
addison: d-do you want another one?
chase: i want whatever you want. if you want three more then let's get started but if you don't want anymore then that's okay too. whatever you want.
addison: but if it was your choice would we have another one? like d-do you want another baby?
chase: addi-
addison: answer the question.
chase: why are you asking this? if you-
addison: chase just answer the fucking question. if it was your choice would we have another one?
chase: what is wrong? why are you asking me a question like this?
addison: because i don't wanna get pregnant again and have another baby and then have you decide you want to leave because you said you wanted more to make me happy but in reality you don't want more so then i get left with three kids. that's why i want to know if we would have another one if it was your choice.
chase: i love you, we're in this together. we both have been with each other way too long to give up. i'm okay with having another baby but if we don't than i'm also okay with that.
addison: so basically you don't care if we have another one or not?
chase: just tell me now, are you pregnant?
addison: no. i'm not pregnant chase and i probably won't be since you don't care.
chase: i do care-
addison: then why aren't you saying yes or no?! it's a simple answer!
chase stands up off of the bed.
chase: jesus christ addison! if it were my choice then yes! we'd have another baby! it's your body so whatever you wanna do with it is your choice! it's not that i don't care cause i do! is that what you want?!
i look down and chase sighs, he walks over to the light and turns it off. i lay back down along with chase, he wraps his arms around me again.
chase: i don't want to fight. i hate fighting with you but just tell me if you want another baby or not. i feel like you do but i want voice confirmation that you want another one. i'm not going to ever leave you. okay?
a lump appears in my throat and i swallow it, i bring my hands up to my eyes and wipe them. i let out a breath and turn around, i wrap my arms around chases waist and lay my head on his chest. he tightens his grip again.
chase: do you want another baby?
addison: yeah.
chase: okay. i would love to have another one then. why do you want another?
addison: i didn't realize i enjoyed being a mom as much as i do and the boys are already almost six and then they're gonna be seven next and as the years go by the less they're gonna want my help or do less mom and son days or-
chase: so it has to do with the boys growing up? they're gonna need you the rest of your life no matter what. they might start to need you less and less but they're still gonna need you sometimes and i think we still have a couple more years until then.
addison: they don't need help with anything anymore though. they can go to the bathroom by themselves. they can shower and-
chase: addison those are just a few things. think of the other stuff that they will need help with in the future. you're not done being a mother.
addison: i know. it just feels like i am now that they can do stuff on their own.
chase: what happens if we have another baby and when they get to this age you start feeling the same way again? we're just gonna have another one every five or six years? because by then the boys will be twelve and this baby would be six and-
addison: we would only be twenty-nine and twenty-eight pregnant with our fourth baby.
chase: is that what you want? to have a baby every six years? that's what will happen-
addison: are you trying to talk me out of wanting another one?
chase: no. not at all i'm just thinking for the future.
addison: that's the future. we can think about it when it gets here.
chase: so another baby?
addison: yeah.
chase: then let's get started.
chase rolls us over so he's on top of me, he kisses me and i kiss him back. he smiles in the middle of the kiss and long with me, i wrap my arms behind his neck and pull him a bit closer to me. i tangle my fingers in his hair, i start messing with his hair.
word count - 1,011
