Comfort Oneshots

KiriKamiDeku

    Does anyone want me? Am I just extra baggage? None of my friends want to hang out with me or even talk to me. My teacher is probably annoyed with me. Maybe it would be better if I just left. I mean if my own parents don’t even want me why would anyone else. I got up and started walking to the roof. If I was going to die I wanted to look at the sky. As I left my room I heard Kirishima and Kaminari talking. “God, why Deku? Like him of all people!” I heard that and began running to the roof. I loved them but they didn’t even think I was worth anything. I heard them yell behind me realizing that I had heard them. I felt hot tears falling down my face but didn’t stop running. I ran up the stairs to the roof but the door was locked. I tried to break it down but it wouldn’t break. I fell down the door, sobbing. I heard Kirishima and Kaminari get to me but couldn’t look at them. “Deku…what’s wrong?” Kaminari asked. I shook my head not wanting any of this to be happening. “Ok, can we hold you?” Kirishima whispered. I slowly nodded my head; no matter how much I knew they didn’t want me I couldn’t make them leave. They kneeled down and pulled me towards them. I continued to sob. “Why?” I whispered to myself, hoping they didn’t hear. “Why what, Deku?” Kaminari said quietly. “Why couldn’t I die,” I knew they wouldn’t care. They probably hated me so much they would help me open the door. I felt them both pull me closer. “Oh baby. Please no. Were you really trying to die?” Kirishima said into my head. I nodded, not understanding why he had called me that. They both squeezed me for a moment before standing up, with me still in Kirishima's arms. He began carrying me towards Kaminari’s dorm and he opened the door. He set me down on one of the large beanbags Kaminari had before laying there next to me, Kaminari doing the same. “Can- Can I ask a question?” I nodded towards Kaminari not wanting to speak. “Why?” I looked towards him confused. “Why do you want to die?” I looked down before starting to whisper, “No one wants me. My friends hardly talk to me. Aizawa is probably annoyed with me, and my crushes hate me. My own parents don’t even want me.” I felt Kirishima lean towards my head before stopping and hesitating. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered. I slowly nodded and he leaned down and kissed my head. “We want you and need you. We love you baby.” My head shot up at his words. “Wh-what? Why would you want me? Wait- No you’re lying. I heard you talking about me in the hall. You don’t want me.” He pulled me closer. “We do want you. We were talking about why we were so scared to talk to you.” I shook my head, looking down. They wouldn’t want me. They must be lying. I’m so stupid. “Hey? Baby?” I looked up at Kaminari, realizing I had started crying again. “Why’re you crying?” I curled into myself wanting to just disappear. “You’re lying,” I whispered quietly. “Why do you think we’re lying?” “I’m stupid and extra. Why would you want me? You already have a relationship; you don’t need me to ruin that for you.” Kirishima lightly pulled my face so I would have to look at him. “You are NOT stupid and we aren’t lying. We do want you. You’re kind and caring and nice and so smart. You wouldn’t be ruining anything.” I chocked back my sobs trying not to seem weaker then I probably already did. “Baby? What’s wrong?” I violently shook my head, not because I didn’t want to answer but because I couldn’t. I felt them begin to slowly rock me. It was a calming motion and after a few minutes of us sitting there I calmed down. I took a deep breath, “I - Are you sure? I-I’ve never been told that.” I felt a small kiss to my head before Kaminari whispered to me. “We’re sure. We want you. I am so sorry no one has told you that but now we have.” I nodded, leaning up kissing them both softly before curling up and yawning. I slowly drifted asleep knowing I was safe with them.
They’re gonna leave me. I’ll be alone again. I can’t be alone again. I knew I wasn’t good enough for them. They’re finally gonna realise that I’m not good enough. I heard the door to my dorm open but stayed hiding in the bathroom. We had agreed to meet in my dorm after they were done training but it hadn’t gone as planned. I was supposed to stay here and relax, wait for them. I ended up curled into a ball in the bathroom, blood pouring down my arms. “Izu! You in here?” Kiri called out. I stayed quiet, not wanting them to find me. They didn’t have to know. “Kiri the bathroom.” I heard Kaminari whisper and they walked towards the door. “Izu, you in here?” I whimpered as I leaned against the wall, pressing my arm against it. “Izu? What’s wrong?” One of them knocked and I moved into the bathtub, hiding behind the curtain. The door opened and they walked in, getting closer to the tub. Kaminari pushed open the curtain, Kiri seeing me first. “Oh Izu. What happened?” He climbed into the tub, Kaminari sitting next to it. “I-I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to know, you weren’t supposed t-to find out. I knew I wasn’t g-good enough. I’m still not.” Kami brushed my hair with his fingers while Kiri began speaking. “It’s okay Izu. You’re perfect. You don’t have to apologize and I’m happy we found out. Now we can help you. Okay baby?” I nodded and Kiri pulled me into his lap, rocking me. “I-I’m sorry I’m so messed up. You t-two should go be happy, without me ruining it for you.” Kami shushed me, kissing my head. “You aren’t ruining anything. We want you and we are so happy being with you. Nothing you could say or do could change that.” Kiri started talking next, not giving me a chance to dispute it. “Let’s clean you up, then we can cuddle and watch something.” I nodded and Kiri picked me up, walking towards the bed. While he did this Kami grabbed the first aid kit, starting on my arms as soon as I was set down. “You hungry Izu?” I shook my head. I can’t eat. I can’t be fat. If I am they won’t want me. Kami finished wrapping my arms kissing it. “When was the last time you ate hun? I didn’t see you at lunch today.” I shrugged and thought. “Maybe last week. Though that was only an orange. The last time I ate a meal was about a month ago.” Their eyes widened and they looked at each other nodding. “Thats not good Izu,” Kiri said, getting into the bed with me and holding me, “Kami is gonna go make you some ramen and you’re gonna eat it okay?” I shook my head, grabbing his hands that were on my stomach. “I can’t. I don’t want to be fat. Please don’t make me.” He kissed my head, laying us down. “We have to baby. If you don’t eat then you’ll be too weak to train and you could die.” I looked away, whispering, “that wouldn’t be so bad.” He turned me around, pushing my face to look him in the eye. “Yes it would Izuku, both me and Kami want you. So you don’t get to leave us that easily.” I began crying, pushing my face into his chest. I heard the door open but stayed where I was, hiding myself. “Come on Izu. You need to eat.” I shook my head, if they can’t see my face they can’t make me. “Please Izuku? Just a little bit.” I turned my head, grabbing the chopsticks and taking a bite before moving back to my place. “There. I ate. Please don’t make me do more.” Kiri rubbed his hands along my back, kissing my head. “We can’t make you but please eat more. We want you to be healthy.” I shook my head. “I’m not healthy if I’m fat.” Kami brushed my hair again before whispering. “You are no where near fat baby. You need to eat more. You’re too skinny. I can feel your ribs. Please Izuku.” I turned my face slightly. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to feel like I’m disgusting even though I know I am. Please don’t make me. I don’t want to.” Kami moved to rub my back while Kiri brushed my head. “You aren’t disgusting baby. You don’t have to think or feel like you are. But you need to eat. If you don’t we could lose you.” Kami was sniffling now, trying to hold back his tears. I pulled myself up and held him. “I’m sorry. Please d-don’t cry. I’m sorry. Don’t be sad about me. I’m sorry for being selfish.” He wrapped his arms around me. “You aren’t being selfish. I just want you to be healthy. I don’t want to lose you.” I took a deep breath,  holding it. “Would you feel better if I eat?” He nodded and I slowly let go. “Okay. I-I’ll eat.” He smiled at me. “Thank you baby.” I nodded, scared. What if I get fat? What if they don’t want me anymore? I grabbed the bowl and began eating, holding back the bile in my throat. Once I finished I pushed it away. Laying down and hiding. “Good job baby. We’re so proud of you.” Kiri whispered. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. Don’t think I’m fat. Please.” “Shh baby. It’s okay. You aren’t fat and we aren’t leaving. We’re right here with you. You’re stuck with us.” Kami kissed my head and pulling me to him. “You did so well hun. And we are so, so proud. You are so beautiful and perfect.” I leaned into him. “I don’t want to do that again.” Kiri moved closer, kissing my cheek. “I know baby. You don’t have to right now but we’re gonna work on your food intake. Okay?” I nodded, not wanting to fight. “You wanna just cuddle? We can start a movie?” I nodded again. This is what they wanted to do. We were gonna do it. No matter how much I just wanted to sleep. “Okay baby,” Kami whispered, turning on the TV and a random movie. Kami layed down, me still on him and Kiri held us both. They both began humming and it became harder for me to stay awake. I won’t fall asleep. That was the last thing that went through my head before I passed out.
When I woke up both Kiri and Kami were asleep, still holding me. They don’t want me. I’m not good enough for them. They would be so much happier without me. I slowly sat up, careful not to wake them up. I moved to the closet, closing the door and crying as quietly as possible. They’re going to leave me. I’m gonna be fat. The door opened and Kami crouched next to me. “Hey hun. What’s wrong? You could have woken us up.” He said this pointing behind him at Kiri. I shook my head. “I can’t bother you. You won’t want me if I’m bothersome. It’s okay. You can go back to sleep.” Kami ran his hand against my hair, wiping my tears. “You aren’t being bothersome baby. It’s okay. We’re aren’t gonna leave you.” He pulled me into his lap and out of the closet. Kiri moved to hold both of us. “What happened baby?” I wrapped my arms around my stomach. “You won’t want me if I’m fat. I’m not good enough for you. You would be so much happier without me.” The tears moved down my face faster, leaving me almost completely unable to see. “No baby. We love you so much. We wouldn’t be happier without you, we’re happy with you. You won’t be fat if you eat a little. You are perfect. You will never have to worry about us leaving you.” Kiri kissed my face, wiping more of my tears. “What do you need hun? We want to help.”  I curled more into Kami, craving his warmth and touch. “Do you just want to be held?” I nodded and they laid down, me on top of Kami, still on the floor. “We’ll always hold you.” Kiri grabbed a blanket from the bed and we all laid down. “You are so perfect Izu.” I held onto them for dear life, crying more. I wish I didn’t hurt them so much. I don’t want to be selfish. They don’t need me. I can wait until they’re asleep and leave, just walk until I can’t anymore. They won’t try to find me. They would be happy if I left. We laid there for hours. Eventually they fell asleep and I carefully moved, closing the door quietly and walking.
A few hours later I got a call answering it without looking at the contact. “Izu!” Kiri screamed. “Hey, Kiri,” I whispered sadly. “Where are you?” He asked, calming down. “I don’t know. I’m walking. You can be happy now.” I continued my sad tone and he responded. “What do you mean Izu?” I continued walking as I spoke, not knowing where I was or where I was going. “I’m gone. You can be happy now. You don’t have to feel bad. Now you don’t have to worry. I’m done being selfish and pretending you care. You don’t have to pretend anymore.” He cut me off there. “We’re both very worried Izu. Where are you? We can come get you. We aren’t pretending to love you. Please Izuku. I’m worried about you. Kami can’t even talk from how hard he’s crying.” I did it again. I made them hurt. Why can’t I do anything right? I whispered the end of that before responding. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I began screaming. “Why can’t I make you happy?!” I threw my phone, it cracking and turning off. “No. No. No. No!” It’s broken. I’m completely alone. Now they can’t find me. I sat down, holding myself. I can’t be selfish. If they can’t find me they’ll give up. They’ll be happy. I stayed sitting there for what felt like hours. I heard a car coming my way and decided to begin walking again. I grabbed my phone from the ground and continued moving. The car stopped next to me and I looked seeing Aizawa driving and Kiri and Kami in the back. “Come on, kid. Get in. Those two are worried. You can’t just leave.” As soon as he finished speaking I ran. As fast as I could, I ran. I felt Aizawa’s capture weapon wrap around me and I collapsed crying. “No. Please no. I can’t let them worry about me,” I whispered. I felt arms wrap around me before the capture weapon was released. “Izu. You scared us,” Kami whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You can leave. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just keep walking. You can forget I ever existed.” I cried, holding their arms. Even if I wanted them to leave I couldn’t let them go. “We aren’t going to leave you. We’re gonna take you home and we won’t let you out of our sight. We could never forget you.” Kiri said this as he picked me up. “You’re gonna be okay baby. We’re here, with you, to help.” Kami hugged us both and we began walking back to the car. Aizawa ruffled my hair and patted both Kiri and Kami on the back. I was placed between both Kiri and Kami and they held my hands. I slowly leaned my head against Kami’s shoulder, worried he would tell me to move. As soon as my head was laid down he kissed it and I smiled, falling asleep, tired from my attempt to help them.
I woke up, back on the dorm room bed, feeling Kiri’s arms around me and my head on Kami’s lap, his fingers running through my hair. “Hey baby. Less tired?” I nodded, trying to sit up, but Kiri held me. Kami chuckled. “You won’t be able to move for a while. He’s terrified that if he lets you go you’ll be gone again.” I felt Kiri nod, nuzzling his face into my back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Kami turned my face, kissing my forehead. “What do you have to apologize for?” I looked at his face. “I made you cry,” I whispered, wiping my thumb lightly over his still tender eye. “I made you both worried. And I was selfish again. All I thought about was me. My wants.” Kiri bit my shoulder, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to hurt. “Nope. Everytime you say something bad about yourself I’ll bite. Okay?” I nodded, moving my face so neither of them could see it. “You don’t have to apologize for us being worried. We were worried because we love you. And how in the world were you selfish? All you said you wanted from doing that is to make us happy. That isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.” I shook my head. “You didn’t want me to leave. You said that and I did anyways. I knew you wouldn’t like me leaving at first but I did it anyways.” Kiri pulled me tighter into him. “You did it because you thought its what was best for us. We don’t want you to leave, but you did it for us.” Kami nodded. “Where were you going anyways baby?” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just going to walk until I couldn’t anymore. Until I knew I was far enough you wouldn’t be able to find me. So that you guys could be happy without me. Without me ruining it for you.” I began crying, trying not to sob, but failing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to have to worry about me. If you don’t have to worry about me then you can be happy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kami brushed through my hair, shushing me. “Hey no it’s okay baby. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to apologize. We love you so, so much. We are happy. We’re happy loving you. Even though we worry it’s because we are happy loving you. It’s all okay baby. We’ve got you.” Kiri kissed my face, kissing my tears away too. “He’s right hun. Everything will be alright. You don’t have to worry as long as we’re here. We will always find you.”  I wrapped my arms around myself as well as Kiris arms. "No. No. No. No. You shouldn't try and find me. You'd be happier without me. Why can't you see that? I'm useless!" I felt a bite on my shoulder again from Kiri. "Nope. None of that hun. You are not useless. We will always find you. We are so so happy with you. Remember when we first told you we love you?" I nodded. "You remember how sad we were? About you wanting to die?" I nodded again, chocking on air from my sobs. " Doesn't that show that we want you? Wouldn't that show that we see how useful you are? How much we love you?" I shrugged, tightening my grip. "You could have just thought that in the moment. Adrenaline pushing you to do stupid things. Or you felt like if you let me die that wouldn't be good for your reputations. But it's okay. I can leave a note. It's no one's fault but mine. My fault for being useless and a burden. You don't have to deal with me anymore." Another bite. "It's okay. Without me you can be happy. You won't have to think about the burden of me anymore." He bit me again, interrupting me. "Even if what your saying was true and it was all just adrenaline why would we be staying with you?" "Because you'd feel bad leaving me. You'd feel like you were bad guys for leaving a suicidal boy alone. But if I left you wouldn't blame yourselves it would be my fault. It's my fault just like everything." The tears came faster as I continued. "Just like making you guys worry. And making Kami cry. And Tsu almost dying. And Kachaan getting taken. And him almost dying. It's all my fault. You'd be better off without me." Kiri turned me around, looking at me sternly. "None of that was your fault. We're children. You shouldn't have had to deal with any if that. None of us should have. We've stayed with you because we love you. We absolutely love you. So we are not letting you go. We are not going to let you walk forever or die. Okay?" He bit my nose lightly before kissing it. I nodded, pushing my face into his chest, hiding my face. He rubbed my back, shushing me gently. Telling me everything would be okay. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Kiri. And you too Kami. I'm so sorry. I keep hurting you. Keep making you worry. I'm sorry I'm not good." Kiri shushed me. "How in the world are you not good?" Kami moved, his arm now supporting my head while he laid behind me wrapping g his other hand around me. "You two always help me but I never help you. I'm a bad person. And I'm a bad boyfriend." They didn't say anything or do anything. They just continued to hold me. I don't blame them. They can't protest the truth but they don't want to seem rude just getting up and leaving. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. I just want you two to be happy. As long as you are happy then I'll be okay. So if you just want to leave it'll be fine. Just be happy!" I tried to squirm out of their grasps but they wouldn't let go. "I can just go to my dorm and you can pretend that nothing happened. That you never saw me that day. That you never brought me back. And like I never ruined anything." Kami shushed, scratching my head slightly with is fingers. "You haven't ruined anything. And we are certainly not letting you go. We did see you that day and we did bring you back and we held you until you fell asleep because that was the only thing we knew we could do to help. We held you and told you we love you. And we will always love you  because you are our perfect Izuku. We will help you the best we can even if all we can do is hold you and tell you we love you until you fall asleep. I would do that a thousand times before I ever let you go and do what you wanted to on that roof. And I'm sure Kiri would do the same." He nodded kissing my head. "No. No. No. Just let me go! Please. Please. Just let me go. I'm not perfect. You don't have to. You don't have to hold me. You can just let me go and you can hold eachother. It will be like I was never here and you could be happy." Kami kissed the back of my head and Kiri kissed the top of it. "Okay baby. Say we did let you go. What would you do then?" Kiri whispered to me. I shrugged. "Make you happy," I cried. It would make them happy. That's all I want. They both moved in closer, squeezing me between them. "Nope. I know you think that will make us happy but it won't. It'll just hurt us. So we will hold you, and tell you we love you. And we will not let you go. We will hold you until you fall asleep. Then we will keep holding you. Because we love you. Okay?" I shrugged. "Nope. No shrugging. Real answer. Yes or No. You can shake or nod your head but you can't run away from the question." I didn't move. I just stayed there, holding myself and sobbing. "Come on beautiful. You can answer. Just tell us what you're thinking." I shook my head. "I can't. Because I know you love me and you'll keep holding me but you shouldn't. You shouldn't hold me or love me. I'm nothing but a problem. For you. For Kami. For Kachaan. For Aizawa. For the class. It would be better if I left. Please." They both shook their heads. "We know you won't believe us but we won't let you go. Beautiful baby, do you want to keep talking about what you're feeling? Or do you want to go to sleep?" I didn't move. I don't want to choose. I don't want to pick the wrong one and make them mad. I could deal with them leaving me but I couldn't deal with them hating me."Baby?" I curled into myself more, trying to push them away so I wouldn't hurt them. "Just be happy." They held me, even as I continued pushing. "We won't be mad no matter what you choose." I kept pushing trying to make them let go of me. "Just be happy! Please." Kami turned me back towards him, moving my legs so I couldn't push with them. "Quit pushing hun. We aren’t gonna let go. All you're doing is hurting yourself. We are happy with you. So quit pushing us away. It won't work." He pulled me so far into his chest I couldn't move. He tangled our legs together so I couldn't push either. He brushed a hand through my hair. I began pounding against he's chest, sobbing harder. "Shh. Shh. It's okay."I gave up, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." He kissed my forhead. "I know. I know baby. Shh. Shhh baby. Just breath. I know." I squeezed myself to him. "Don't be mad. Please. Please don't be mad." Kiri moved, placing both of our heads on his lap, wiping some of my tears away. "We aren’t mad baby. We'd never be mad at you." I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore and they just kept holding me. They just kept telling me it would all be okay. They don't leave and they just stay there. "Good boy baby. Just let it all out. We've got you." The last of my tears fall down my face but I continue sobbing. I couldn't breath. I was dying. If I can't breath I'll die. They'll be happy if I die. I held my breath stopping my sobs and what little air was getting into my lungs. "Hey baby. You gotta breath." I shook my head. "No baby. You have to breath." I shook my head again, feeling it start to go fuzzy. I felt a hand on my face and saw Kami holding it. He kissed me, surprising me and I let out a gasp. "Good boy. Breath. Just breath. There we go." Kiri smiled at me. "Good boy." I shook my head. Kiri kissed my cheek, biting it. "Good boy." He said it sterner this time. I sighed and looked down, seeing only my body. God I'm disgusting. They won't want me. They don't want me. They're just pretending. I began whispering to myself, not sure if I was telling myself or them. "Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy." Kami hummed in question. "What's up baby?" "I need to be happy. Then you won't hate me. You don't have to worry if I'm happy. I can be happy for you two. Happy. Happy. Happy." I smiled at them, as wide as I could. "Oh no baby.  You don’t have to fake it. We want you to be you. We want you to be happy for real not for you to fake it." I shook my head. "If I'm happy then you’ll be happy. I just want you to be happy. Even of it hurts you'll be happy." I wanted to cry again but I couldn't, I was all out of tears. I began whispering again, chanting. "Happy. Happy. Happy. If I'm happy they're happy." Kami pressed my face into his chest, rubbing my head and neck. "Shh. No. No. We don’t want you to pretend. I know you want us to be happy but we won't be if we know you're hurting. Just breath. Okay?" I nodded. "Good boy." I shrugged. Tomorrow. I'll pretend to be happy tomorrow. Then they'll be happy. "Baby. You tired?" I nodded. I was tired. So, so tired. "You wanna sleep? Or you wanna just lay here?" I sighed. "Sleep." They both nodded kissing me. I slowly fell asleep waiting for tomorrow.
I woke up still feeling arms around me. I turned and Kiri smiled down at me. "Better hun?" I smiled widely. "Yep. I'm amazing Kiri!" I brushed my hair back. "You aren't pretending right?" I shook my head. "Of course not! I'm happy." Happy just kept repeating in my head but I pushed it back. "Okay." I felt a kiss to my cheek as Kami woke up. "It's good you're feeling better baby, but remember we won't be mad or disappointed if you aren't happy." I nodded, kissing him too. Fuck it hurts. It hurts that I'm lying. It hurts that I'm pretending. "Let's go get some breakfast okay?" I nodded. It's fine. I won't be fat. I'll get rid of it after. Or I just won't eat it. They won't notice they'll just be happy that I'm 'happy.' We walked down stairs with them. Kiri grabbed the cereal pouring us all some then adding some milk. "Good job baby. We're so proud of you. You’re eating and you're happy." I smiled at Kami and waited for Kiri to sit down. I pushed the food around, making it look like I ate before dumping the bowl. "Good job Izu. I'm so proud of you." I smiled and excused myself to the bathroom. It's only been an hour and it hurts so much. I began crying, holding and rocking myself. I can keep doing it. It makes them happy. I heard a knock at the door and wiped my tears away, hiding the pain in my voice. "What's up?" I heard whispering outside the door before Kiri responded. "What's wrong hun? We heard crying." I laughed to them. "What're you talking about? I'm happy." I opened the door and saw them both worried. "Are you sure? We heard crying. And your eyes are red and puffy." I just closed my eyes continuing to smile. "It's fine. Nothings wrong." I felt myself getting pulled into a hug and hugged back. "You don't have to lie Izu. We love you and you don't have to pretend to be happy for us." A few more tears fell but I held the rest in. "No. No. I'm fine." I moved smiling at them. "See? I'm fine!" Kiri smiled sadly and Kami brushed my hair back. "Baby. You don’t need to lie. Why don't we go sit down and you can tell us what's going on?" I shrugged and nodded and we walked to the couch. I kept a smile on my face. "What's going on hun? Why do you feel like you have to fake it?" I shook my head. "I'm not faking it. I'm fine and happy." Kami kissed my forehead. "Don't lie. Just tell us. It's okay. We wont be mad or disappointed." I shook my head trying to push my tears back but failing. "I'm fine! See? Happy smile." Kiri cupped my face, wiping my tears. "We see the happy smile Izu but we also see that you're hurting. You can drop it baby. All its doing is hurting." I put my hand on top of his, leaning into it. My smile fell from my face and I began sobbing, grasping at his arm to keep him from leaving. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I just wanted to make you happy. I can still make you happy!" I shoved a smile onto my face, smiling at him. He looked at me sadly, smiling back. "Shh. I know baby but you can drop the smile. It's okay." He pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arm around my head and back. "Shh. Shh. I know baby. I know. That's it. Just let it out." I clenched my fist in his shirt tightly. "I'm sorry! Don't leave me please! Don't be mad. I can be good. I can be happy for you! Just please don't be mad." They continued shushing me. "We aren’t mad hun. It's okay. You are so good, so perfect Izu. Don't force yourself to be happy." I wrapped my legs around him tightly as I continued to sob into his chest. "I love you both so much. I don’t want to keep hurting you." Kiri shushed me again scratching my head. "It's ok. Just breath. We can talk about it when you're feeling better. We won't push you baby. Just breath." I breathed with them for a while, relaxing into his chest. "I'm so tired. Tired of hurting you. Tired of not being enough. Tired of knowing you'll give up on me. I'm so sorry." Kiri ran his hand back and fourth on my head, soothing me gently. "Oh baby. I'm so sorry. I know that it's all so much but we can help. But you need to tell us what's wrong okay baby? You did so well just now." I nodded, holding him tightly. Kami began talking next after kissing me. "Remember though baby, you aren't hurting us, and we will never ever give up on you. And you are enough." I shrugged. "You should give up on me. I'm not good enough. All I do is hurt you two and everyone else. I just want to be good." Kiri bit me lightly. "You are good. You are so perfect. You are kind and selfless and so caring. So you're right you aren't good enough. You're more than good enough. So no more of this self depreciating stuff alright?" I nodded, slowly. "I'm sorry." Kiri shook his head, kissing me. "Nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong. You were just trying to help. We don't expect you to apologize for doing good." I hummed, letting tears fall slowly. "How you feeling hun?" Kami asked, kissing my head. "Tired. Useless. Done." Moving to hold me too. "Why're you feeling like that? Just so we know how we can help. We aren’t judging you." I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm supposed to make you happy, that's my job as my boyfriend, but all I ever do is hurt you. I make you cry, and I make you worried, and I make you have to repeat yourself. I can't do anything right." Kiri moved looking me in the eye. "You make us very happy. You are kind and caring and we love you. It makes us immeasurably happy when you really smile, or when you're happy about something, or even when you decide to just cuddle us. Okay? Tell the truth too so we can help. Don't just agree to get out of it." I shrugged. "Doesn't the bad outweigh the good though. I make you feel bad more than I make you feel good." He shook his head, leaning his forhead against mine. "Even if it did the quality would outweigh the quantity. Ok love?" I nod, still tired. "Baby?" I look at him in question. "You know we love you right?" I shrugged. "Yeah but who knows how long that'll last. You'll get tired of me eventually. Everyone does." Kiri bit me again before kissing my cheek. “We won’t. We love you so, so much. We love you more than life. So we won’t be leaving or getting tired of you.” I just closed my eyes listening to him. Maybe he’s right, but if I have learned anything from my past its that no one wants a broken person. “No one wants a broken person. Even if they think they can fix them they give up. You’ll do the same eventually.” Kiri shook his head, with mine, seemingly shaking the thoughts out of my head. “I know your thing is worrying but you dont need to worry about us leaving.” He ran his hand through my hair, helping me calm down. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I’m a mess. We can just go back to pretending I’m fine. Like I’m still the bubbly Izuku you met in first year. You don’t have to deal with this.” Kami borke in at this. “Izuku I need you to stand up for me, okay.?” I nodded, standing in front of him. He pushed me in front of the mirror, showing me myself. “You are absolutely perfect. You look perfect. You are so nice to everyone, perfectly able to help anyone you can. You are perfectly perfect in everyway.” I just stood there looking at myself. They keep saying this. Maybe it’s true. Maybe they’re right and they won’t leave me. “You won’t leave? You aren’t lying?” They both shook their heads. I smiled, hugging them both.