Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

4. Daddy issues

W I D O W   S E V E N T E E N

Now that the alcohol has loosened me up even more, I dance freely, finding a rhythm I didn't know I possessed. I turn my back to Loki, lifting my hair up and looking at him over my shoulder with a flirty non-intended look.

It's like a new me has unleashed as I danced to the rhythm of the music. Loki stands leaning against the bar counter, his eyes never sway from mine. My black spaghetti strap exposes the darken hickeys on my neck, his eyes gaze over in lust.

I sway my hips, my hands in the air as I mingle with the other people on the dance floor. My head falls backwards, eyes closing as I take in the euphoric feeling. I feel more alive than I ever felt before.

I feel free.

The toxicity in my body is enlightening something within me and I love it. Do you ever feel like you can reach up and touch the sky? I feel like I'm floating, I may or may not have about nine shots of vodka and shit tone of bourbon. After the day I have had off over thinking and the not so electric kiss from Loki, I need this shit.

I don't know how I feel now about Loki and I. I know I care for him, but love? That's too much for me. But there's a part of me that needs to move on from Winter but I know now that he left to find himself. I get that. But the way he left...

It hurt me you know?

No one is going to answer your question, stupid.

You never know...

I miss his blue eyes but I also want green eyes. Why is this messing me up even when Winter isn't here. I cant stop thinking about him. Is he thinking of me?

Again no one answering your dumb question.

Shut up, subconscious hoe

Find I'll shut it but don't get all up in my grill again.

...okay.

Drunk speaking to my subconscious, lovely. I'm not crazy I swear.

My eyes open up as I feel hands on my waist, my head leaning against someone's chest. The males head drops down near my ear, fanning my face. His lips brush against my lobe, I turn slightly to see Loki's green eyes peaking up at me as he kisses the side of my neck.

I close my eyes again, sighing into myself as all the emotions I feel for both men disappear as I take in the feeling of Loki's touches. I'm a paradox searching for love and care. His mouth attacks my neck once again, sucking and nibbling at me skin before peppering kisses on the attack.

His hands pull my waist tighter against him to feel his hard on, I gasp slightly as I flutter my eyes open a bit. "Loki..." I mumbled even though he couldn't possibly hear me through the loud music.

"Tell me what you want" He whispers in my ear, his hand trailing up under my dress. Resting his hand in between my thighs, squeezing slightly as I clench my legs together trapping him.

My body yearns for him but me...I don't feel anything. Nothing at all.

I turn to look over my shoulder, my eyes glassing over as my mind betrays me. Standing behind me is Winter, his short shoulder length hair curls at the bottom. His blue eyes stare into mine, mental arm coming up to my face as he threads a fallen curl behind my ear. My hand reaches up, tracing the outlines of his face.

I furrow my brows in confusion, what is he doing here?

"Winter..." I mumbled quietly, I blink again only to see Loki once again. He is furrowing his brows at me as he talks, his hand on my cheek rubbing it slightly. I cough before saying, "Sorry what we're you saying?"