Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

4. Tears of blade

"With a little time, take a look and find what you're searching for
You are broken on the floor
And you're crying, crying"
-Broken by Isak Danielson

T H I R D   P E R S O N
Trigger warning ahead: Harm and mental health

Seventeen stares through the reflection of her bathroom mirror, dark emotionless eyes appear back at her with a frown settled on her face. Her hands subconsciously move up towards her pink plumped lips, fingers gliding across her soft lips trying to spread her mouth upwards but it falls after she pull's away. A frown forms upon her sadden face, hands moving to the dark pulled up curled hair to pull at the string tying her curls up together.

Threading through the curls, Seventeen's mind flashing with memories of the Redroom, unnamed soldier from Hydra and the man that took her innocence. Nikolai Kozlov. His face appears in her nightmares at night, she could never get his face out of her corrupted mind since she finally got out of her slump of mindlessness from the amnesia.

Before she received it back, she never dreamed that she would ever get it back. She didn't want it anyways because she knew it wouldn't be anything special even if it didn't answer her questions but that doesn't goes to say she didn't try.

She did try to get them back, go to the places that she dreamt about thinking she had some connection with them. But in the end it would be a no show. She believed that she was cursed. Cursed from never be able to be set free from the never ending tragedy. That was okay, it was enough, for her at least.

Then suddenly something deep inside her chest broke, broke so violently that Seventeen wondered if it was possible for no one to have heard it. Her breath evened out for a split second trying to decipher any movement of anyone hearing her but to no use she finally let the walls grumble.

Seventeen takes a huge inhale in, it's shaky as she slowly escapes out through her mouth. Her fingers trembling when she reaches out to turn on the water shred of the shower. Her hand slip aimlessly to the back of her neck, gripping the hoodie between her fingers as she pulls upwards. Discarding her hoodie, letting it drop on the ground, her eyes take in the thin boned skin on her collarbone.

She's lost weight.

A scream begging to erupt, her head turning to the side. Her lips brushing against her biceps, before her teeth bites down hard on the tanned flesh. Pain shooting up through her, tears slipping through her emotionless eyes as she tastes the raw coppery frequent invade her mouth.

Her silent scream coming to an end, pulling back away from the bloody bite marks on her soft skin. Her eyes stare at the damage but doesn't dwell on it, knowing that she deserves everything that happened and will happen as she continues to take her clothing off. When she had taken all off her clothes of her scarred tapestry body that felt like it was sticking to her like a shield before stepping into the shower.

Seventeens lifeless eyes turn the faucet up higher causing enough hotness to leave her skin red and tender. Her hand rolling into her fist tightly, so tight that stream of blood trails from her palms.
Her fist raising upwards as she bounds on to her flesh until she could feel nothing but numbness.

And then she finally lets herself go.

Mind flashing with horror, seeing Nikolai Kozlov face in her mind. His touch trialing down her bare naked body, pitching her eyes shut as his fingers open her up. Arching her back to the pain, her mind replaying the same question over and over.

Why does my body enjoy the sensations he gives me?

She felt so disgusted in herself. Why would a vile man go to such lengths to change his life to become such a sustain to society. His mouth sucked on her raw red flesh on her neck, biting down when she would try to push him away only for her to scream in the end in agony.