Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

28. Comfort Zone

W I D O W   S E V E N T E E N
Trigger warning: mention of rape and abuse

My hand runs along the brown leathered spine, pushing the book into its designated spot. I shift my body on the rolling ladder to reach down towards the book trolley and grabbed a another few to place back on to the trolley. Occasionally I get lost in a haze of reading the short summary at the back of the books. My eyes breathing in every single word, getting lost in my own world of what possibility of endings would be.

Doreen said if any books catch my eye I can put it on my own shelf that she cleared off for me. Let's just say I have about twenty books to look forward to but don't know where to start from liking all the interesting summaries. Like for example's, how can you pick between If he Had Been With Me and Sweet Dandelion, both of them have different thrilling plot twists that caught my eye. Don't even get me started with Song Of Achilles, I finished that book last night and shit that got me in my feels.

I love that she provides books from centuries ago and books from todays date like Colleen Hoover but her books don't really thrill me except Reminders of Him. That one was so touching. I hum underneath my breath to Fleetwood Mac, The Chain blasting through my ear phones. I pop my head to the tune as I continue with my new job, I've been working here for nearly two weeks now.

Every thing has been going quite well, Doreen has became a mother figure to me and I love that I can tell her about anything. Which is shocking because I opened most of my life to her, I didn't tell her about the bad parts like the rape and the abuse but I can tell she notices from the scars and still shown bruises on my skin.

But there was no judgement in her hazel eyes, just warm comfort ones. I stayed over in the book store couple days ago, upstairs in the lounge area and she woke me up the next morning with coffee and breakfast made for me. I was scared I would get shouted at but she didn't mind me staying, as long the door was locked then I was fine.

I've been thinking a lot since I've came here to Seattle, it's a nice change for me and especially that I've made three new friends. EJ introduced me to her mates Nathanial and Rosalie and then Doreen. It's enough for me, they were enough. Rosalie was skeptical at first but EJ must've told her and him about who I was and what she's been through so we were all quick to connect with our life trauma's.

"Zahra sweetheart, your counselling is soon." Doreen calls out loud through the music. I finish placing the book back on the shelf, a sigh escaping me. No I have no told the group about what happened to me yet and they were thankfully not rushing me but it's just the fact that I can't find the courage to open up to them when they all have been so patient and loving towards me.

I will some day.

I grab ahold of the handle on the ladder, looking down to watch my step on the metal bars. When I'm down, I slide the ladder to the other side of the shelf to we're it stays and then turnt to push the book trolley back into the front area near the counter where Doreen is stacking up books on to her shelf behind the counter.

"Thank you for reminding me Doreen." I say sarcastically with a pout.

She sends me a wink, a knowing look appearing on her face at my lack of liking the counselling but I know I have to do it. "No problem, dear." She smiles, placing her book on the shelf before turning towards me, walking closer before giving me a gently hug. I lean into her warm motherly touch, I guess I need to stop trusting people so quick but I feel like Doreen would never do such a thing and I'm going with that thought.

My head falls on to her shoulder gently, my arms engulfing around her neck pulling her in. I allow her to hold me for a bit, closing my eyes for a brief moment to sulk in this feeling before going to the hell hole down the road. "I wish I don't have to go."