Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

10. Peggy Carter

W I D O W   S E V E N T E E N

"Where were you last night?" Natasha asked me, sitting down beside me as we gathered everyone together for the funeral of Peggy Carter.

I hummed under my breath, looking away from Steve who has been distant from everyone since he heard the news about Peggy. I look at Natasha in the eyes who is waiting on a response, "What do you mean?" I questioned, my tone calm and settled.

She shrugged, "Came into your room to check up on you but you were gone."

"Probably was hanging out with Tony or Sam." I replied, glancing back towards the front.

"No they were snoring away when I had left them in the lounge at 10. So where were you?"

"What, are you my mother?" I laughed dryly, shaking my head, my foot tapping softly on the ground.

"Maybe not but I want to know where you are than finding out that Dreykov has kidnapped you again." Natasha stated with a serious tone, folding her arms across her chest.

"He's not looking for me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"And you know that how?"

I shrugged, glancing at her before looking straight ahead again. "Because if he were, he would've gotten me by now. I haven't really been keeping a low profile." I exclaimed.

She only hummed as she eyes me for a few more seconds, her eyes trained on me as if I'm going to break under her gaze. I'm not. She doesn't have to know where I go, me going after those rapists is my business. It's my thing. It's the only think that's keeping me sane other than Bucky whom I haven't seen in a couple days sadly.

"You know you can always come to me, Angel" Natasha says after some moments later, her hand clamping on my thigh, squeezing it lightly in reassurance.

I turn to her with a tight smile with a nod as I replied to her comment. "Of course I do but honestly I'm fine"

She looks at me for a another few seconds before nodding to herself before turning to the front again. I watch her for a couple more seconds as well before turning away with guilt churning away inside of me. Part of me wants to tell her and confess what I am doing but the other part is telling me she'll make me stop. Like she'll agree with me of course but she'll think that killing brutally won't solve anything.

She's gone soft.

I'm not gonna end up like that.

My black chipped painted nails, dig into a ball as I press hard against my skin. My lip rolling in between my teeth to stop the wince from escaping my throat, feet continue to tap softly on the ground. My eyes start to roam the church, feeling like there is eyes on me but I can't seem to pinpoint who it is.

There's too many people here, too much for my liking.

I try to fight with myself to stay in the sit and suck it up but the memories of last night starts to eat away at me. I may have no guilt for what I did but the ghost of that vile man is invading my brain to break me. All the ghosts I have killed has hunted me since I started having nightmares.

Since the first kill.

I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the taunting voices as the choir began to sing softly in the background. I push up on to my feet along with everyone else as we looked straight ahead, at the corner of my eyes I can see Steve with a few others carrying Peggy's coffin. My heart breaks for Steve when I see his redden face, tears etching to fall down his cheeks as he moves forward.

I watch as Steve pauses after safety placing the casket down with the other men helping out, his movements stop and he stares at Peggy's picture frame displayed in front of all of us. I wish I could be up there to be there for him but I know he needs to take this moment to grieve his loss, I've never lost someone this close to me - well who is dead.