Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

23. Letters

W I D O W   S E V E N T E E N

I didn't know where I was going when I left the Red Room compound, my mind was on haywire that I didn't think twice about heading straight to the air crafts. I put aside this fear I have about the height of the air craft just so I could get out of that place. I'm currently walking on the outskirts of the countryside 50 miles from New York City. My hands which they still contain the lingering red frequent of Dimitri's blood on my finger tips as I balled them into a fist by my side with a clenched jaw.

Even in the windy afternoon, the scenery in the countryside is breathtaking as I feel the wind in my hair, sending shivers and goosebumps dancing across my bare skin, the sun is awfully warm on my skin creating a warm coat around me as my hand sticks out to feel the sun sweet warmth on my skin.

In my other hand I hold the toxicity of a cancer stick between my finger tips, the cigarette from Luna's hidden stuff under her head. My hand slightly shakes in mid air as my mind wonders to the incident that occurred only a couple hours prior. My legs get tired at each step through the vacant countryside which holds acres of green land with taints of yellow on the tips proving that the grass isn't fake in the surrounding proximity that goes on for miles.

The road and the mountain in the distance which one the other side holds New York City seems to go on for ages as the world falls silent except for the sweet dangerous melody of 'We Belong Together' by Ritchie Valens humming in my mind.

The sky grows cloudy the more I drive through the deserted land, showing a brief intake of what's about to fall from the heavens. The view sounds like it could be peaceful, but the on coming grey clouds beg to differ which creates an eerie drastic scene from a horror movie.

The thought of that doesn't help with my built up trauma that I've created on myself and the emotions clashing against one another all wanting to cancel each other out. My eyes close shut for less that a mere second as I take a deep breath, allowing a chance to calm my racing nerves and sudden panic - in which I don't know where it is coming from.

My mind drifts to the moment I captured before my own very eyes an hour before. I could still taste the red coppery frequent on my lips and the lingering stains on my palms right now. I could still see his and Luna's body plastered in the back of my mind laying underneath me, remembering so clearly that my heart was beating so fast.

I could picture so evidently Dimitri's last burning gaze on me as I felt this strong defiance consume me and killed him by my own hands. I shake my head to stop these thoughts from coming in but it was hard when the occurrence just appears into my mind. I kinda wished it never happened so I would have Luna alive. It's my fault that she's dead. I brought her into it, and she's dead because of that. But I don't regret the murder that I had caused from my own hands.

I have wiped out a sin from this earth, a cruel sick man who I found justice in killing him. The evil that I had cleanse away, a man who won't do the things he had done to me and to Luna's girlfriend. I have revenged them both for two different reasons, I only wished that Luna was alive to find justice for her brothers wrongs. I felt like I lost a small part of me when I watched Luna die before my eyes.

Don't get me wrong I know we only really got to know each other less in a week but I felt safe than I ever was when I was in the red room. I felt like I wasn't used to the comfort that Luna had provided me all week. I didn't feel like the old me, well I'm assuming from a biased point of point from not remembering is that I wasn't used to people caring about me or comforting me, so when Luna had took an interest in me, I had no idea how to react.

I knew I should've over thought and come to my own conclusion without actually taking in her intentions which were only true and caring. I trusted her so quick even after I found out she was related - well partly to Dimitri. But I found this trusting aura around her, the innocence in her eyes which held pure emotion but only had been affected by the nightmares in real life.