Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

11. Aftermath

AN: Thank you so much for 38k reads, really means the world to me that people are giving my book a chance <3

W I D O W S E V E N T E E N

When I had came back with Loki to my room at the stark compound, Thor had handwritten me a letter addressing that he had gone back to help the others but for me to stay here. He also said that he had called Loki to keep me company but I know that is just his and everyone's way of keeping an eye on me.

I feel fine. Like I feel like I should be screaming and crying for all the torment but I'm physically numb. I just know when I finally function everything in, in the next upcoming days that I'll explode. I'm surprised I didn't fully burn that warehouse to the ground.

I knew that I had a bad past, I feel like that thought helped me in some way to deal with what I had went through. So it didn't really surprise me that I had a good childhood that turned into a fucked up one.

The one I most worried about is seeing Nick Fury. With my memory intact, I remember everything now. I just wish I found out in a better way but I guess I get what I get.

I know that I am broken. I didn't need my memories back to realise that thought but... I don't know. I just wished it was better y'know?

I'm honestly tired right now, I feel the scream in my throat but I'm tired of fighting. For once, I want to be fought for. Even throughout all of this, I just want Winter. He understood he like no one else, we both had our memories wiped and now that he is gone nearly a year I don't know who to turn too.

I know Loki is here and every single avenger but it's not the same.

But I knew winter would leave, I miss him and I can't do anything to do about it. He left to found himself, I stayed with the avengers because I didn't want to be alone. There's a difference between us, he can figure it out on his own but me.

I don't want that image that if I did leave then the avengers would be talking about me. I'd would overthink everything and believe that they never actually cared, that they did actually walk on egg shells all the time.

I'll be okay though, just give me a few days to figure out my shit and then the elephant in the room or in my head in this case will hit me. I'll stop functioning and everything will fall apart.

"Ven, you okay?" I hear Loki's soft voice bring me out of my daze of thought. I hummed as I turn my head over to him, his eyes glancing down at me as I bring the blanket up to my chin.

"Perfect" I smiled slightly at him but I'm sure he can see the force behind it.

He opens his arms up for me as I slowly lean in and rested my head on his chest. His soft breathing above me nearly bares me to sleep. My hand comes up through my sweater paw, resting my palm on his chest.

"Tell me about her" I spoke with a small whisper.

"What do you want to know?" He questioned with a tone in his voice that I can't decipher.

"Everything" I replied.

"Her name was Merliah Carter..." He started.

"Is she another one of Peggy's nieces?" I asked cutting him off.

He hummed to my question. "She was." He answered. "Merliah was an odd soul, she never acted like her own age. It was weird yes but that's how I fell in love with her, she was my kind of weird. My weird Merliah." He chuckled with a small affectionate smile.

"She was a pure romantic, she loved the moon and stars, rain and thunder, roses and poetry. Anything alive. Anything with a soul." He says, his eyes meeting mine with a look in his eyes as if lost in a living day dream.

"She saw good in me somewhere, I don't know why she helped me but I will forever love that about her. She didn't see bad in people, she treated everyone equally even with the trust she is handing out from the abuse she had gone through. She wanted to help others than to help herself." He shook his head with a small frown. "She was selfless that way"

"The first time my eyes met hers, I knew that she was the one. Cliche I know but she was. She was perfect in every way. She was naturally beautiful, with a slim and toned physique, she had a very Tom boyish kind of style with a mix of street style. She would wore a cabbage bag and I'd would still think she was the most beautiful woman in the room.

"She had these light blue-green eyes and long dark eye lashes that I would stare at for hours. I could see the pain behind those eyes of hers but then again she saw my true form and never judged me. She loved me for who I was and I loved her just as more." He finished, his eyes glazing over as I reach up to wipe a fallen tear.

He smiled weakly, his hand stroking through my curls as I meet his eyes. "That's beautiful, I'm sorry you lost her so soon. I can tell you love her very much."

"I will always love her forever but I know she would want me to move on" He says in a low whisper, his eyes searching mine. "I know your thinking about that Winter soldier dude but I can wait"

I shake my head, pulling away from him but I never break eye contact with him. "My heart does care for you Loki, it knows that you are special to me, but I can't lie and say that my heart doesn't care for Winter, because it does. I don't know what I feel for you or him, I'm confused, love is an emotion I've run away from to not get hurt in the end. I need time, I just need to gather my thoughts, I.."

"I understand" Loki interrupted my rant as he smiles, his hand reaches up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. "I will wait for you Seventeen, for as long as you need me to."

I furrowed my brows, my eyes darting between his. "I can't ask you to wait for me" I whispered. "That's not fair on you"

"It's my choice" He says with a shrug, he shifts closer to me as he replaces his thumb with his hand as he cups my face. "I just have one request"

"What would that be?" I asked.

"If you want to be with him i'll move on, i just want you to be happy and to allow you to make your own choice. But would you let me show you the world, let me show you that there's more to life than pain. I can help you." He whispers as he moves closer towards me. "If you just let me" his lips brush against my own.

I looked into his eyes and after a moment I nodded. "Okay" I whispered, his lips softly pecking my own before he brings me into his arms for the rest of the night.

******

What do you all think? I know it's a Bucky Barnes story but do you think Seventeen will go out with Loki while Winter is gone? Or will she wait for him?

Winter coming back soon or what come on hoe where are ya ?? 🥱

Find out next time on DAWN, love you all so much! Good morning or night buckaroo's angels <3

UNEDITED