Dawn | Bucky Barnes ✔️

14. Murderer and love

W I D O W S E V E N T E E N

"What the hell happened to your face?"

A drop of blood fell from my busted lip on to my clothing, and I raised my brow. "What do you think, pigeon, I fell." I said sassily in a mood. I didn't mean to sound grumpy but the thought of what could happen to Winter is still playing on my mind.

"You didn't fall midget, who did that to your face?"

I groaned, "It doesn't matter, I'm fine!"

"You're gonna need stitches."

"No really, Sam? I thought that the gaping busted lip was going to be healed by the combined power of our friendship!"

"Both of you shut up." A guard said with a glare.

I huff, slouching back in the chair. Internally cursing the solider off in my head for telling me to shut up. It is not nice to tell people to shut up when they have a mouth to speak from and be able to communicate with others and he uses his mouth to tell people to shut up. Not cool.

He lucky I don't have crush with me today.

My eyes close on their own as I get lost in my thoughts of seeing Winter again. A fluttering feeling erupts in my stomach at the thought of him, a hidden giddy smile on my lips as I think of the man that has taken my heart. Over the course of the year or two as I get to know Winter, how I truly got to learn James Buchanan Barnes was. I felt largely insignificant.

I used to care about the superficial things like my physical looks and how I display myself to others. Being scared of what would happened to me due to my height and my petite body that I will never be good enough. I will always be look down upon. I would hide and coward away from others but honestly now since I've left the red room. I've found my voice.

I shouldn't care what others say about me, I should take my own advice when caring for others more and be able to stand up for myself even with my height difference from others. I have a voice and I will use it now - even if it gets me into trouble with my sarcastic responses.

Although, Bucky puts me to shame with how beautiful he is. Yes beautiful. Men can have beauty as well. He was so much more than what meets the eye; his heart is capable of emotions than any ocean as he cares for others and me, morality, how he holds himself and most importantly his strength to be able to carry so much on his shoulders.

He really was unfairly perfect; was it even possible for Winter to have - if he has any feelings for someone as flawed and broken as me? It was was what circulated my mind since he showed a modicum of interest in me. How he came to me of all people like he could trust me. That even went out of his way to put a lace on that bullet that hangs proudly on his chest now.

As if I am his lifeline.

Yet I was still clueless, still insecure on whether Bucky's interest on me over the course of the years mirrored my own for him. My heart tightens in my chest, swelling so much of the thought of him that it hurt, but it wasn't a bad hurt but a good huff to be so in love with him? I feel like I am in love with him, he brings out this side of me that I've never felt before.

His presence alone drives me insane that it hurts, of course in a good way once again. And it didn't help me that Bucky doesn't know of this thought - of course i wouldn't tell him. It would only get me hurt in the end. He doesn't love nevertheless like me in that way. But I can't help my emotions for him.

I think I've liked him for awhile but I was afraid to admit that to myself that I was possibly in love with the one man that give me so much to live for and shows me that I worth it and is proud of me, just as I am of him.