IGNORED WIFE (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 33

Unang araw nang burol ng anak ko and I can't even walk towards his casket. Hindi ko kaya kasi hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin tanggap. Nanatili lang akong nakatitig sa kabaong habang nahuhulog ang mga luha galing sa mga mata ko.

The pain of letting go is unbearable, napakasakit. Dadating ang pamilya ko ngayon. Nabalik ako sa realidad nang halikan ni Gozu ang ulo ko. He's with me since, hindi siya umalis. I don't know, I don't feel anyone's presence, para akong nag iisa nalang. Parang pakiramdam ko wala na akong kasama.

Pagod na pagod na pagod na ako at hindi ito ang klase ng pagod na kayang mawala sa isang tulog lang. I just wanna keep on crying, hindi ko na alam kung paano ako magsimula sa buhay.

"Hey, come on. You need to rest mahal. Let's go upstairs." I'm in my house, dito ko binurol ang anak ko.

"No, I won't leave my son." Matigas kong saad. My voice came out really cold.

"But you need to rest, kahapon ka pa walang tulog. Don't force your body." Winakli ko ang kamay ko sa hawak n'ya. I don't need his pity. I can handle things on my own.

"You fucking stop telling me what to do. I don't need you so stay the fuck away from me!" Tinulak ko siya at umupo ulit. Right now, ayaw kong kaawaan ako. I just wanna be with my son.

"I know what you're dealing right now mahal but I just wanna let you know. I'm just here, always." Ngumisi ako at tumingin sa kanya. "Really? Wow." I replied at binalik ulit ang tingin ko sa kabaong.

Hinawakan n'ya ang kamay ko at hinalikan ito. I just let him do whatever he want. I'm just so tired dealing with all these things, pagod na pagod na ako.

"You can push me mahal but I won't stay away from you. Ngayon pa kaya-- nevermind." Nahinto siya na parang may nasabing hindi n'ya dapat sabihin. I just shrugged it off. Hindi ako sumagot sa kanya.

I know my son is in the place where he won't experience pain anymore while I'm here, stuck in the middle of somewhere instead of accepting the reality.

Tumayo ako at pumunta sa anak ko. His face is at peace, hindi na n'ya nararamdaman ang sakit kapag inaatake siya ng sakit. I used to look in his face with happiness but now I am drowning in sadness.

Ang daming luhang nahulog galing sa mga mata ko. Naramdaman ko ang yakap ni Gozu sa likod ko but it just won't stop the pain I am feeling right now.

"Shhhh I'm just here. I love you." He said. Hindi ako sumagot. Dinala n'ya ako sa upuan at binigyan ng tubig. Tinanggap ko naman kaagad ito. Iilan lang ang mga nakiburol, some are from the hospital, nandito rin ang mga kaibigan noon ng anak ko.

"Oh baby!" Said by a familiar voice. Tumingin ako sa pintuan and I found my whole family. Hindi ako ngumiti, ni hindi ako tumayo. I just stared at them. I feel Gozu stiffened beside me. Is it because it's his first time meeting them? I don't know and the hell I care.

Lumapit sa akin si papa at niyakap ako. I just stared at him emotionless. Wala akong nararamdaman kung hindi sakit.

"Nakikiramay ako." Tumango lang ako. Napadako ang tingin n'ya kay Gozu who's beside and he's staring at my father coldly. Naging iba rin ang reaksyon ng ama ko pagkakita n'ya kay Gozu. What the fuck is happening? May alam ba silang hindi ko alam? Why are they acting like this?

"It's you, again." They met already? How come hindi ko alam? But I'm too tired to even ask them a question right now.

Si papa lang ang nandito while my two brothers ay susunod lang daw. Umalis na sa harap namin si papa saka naman nag ring ang cellphone ni Gozu.

Kaileia calling

It's her again. Tumingin sa akin si Gozu kaya binalik ko ang tingin ko sa kabaong ng anak ko. Ilang beses nag ring ang cellphone n'ya ngunit hindi parin n'ya ito sinasagot.

"Answer it." Saad ko. Nagulat ako nang patayin n'ya ito at ilagay sa bulsa n'ya.

"No, you need me now and I will never leave you during this time." He stated. Umiling iling ako.

"I don't need you. I'd rather be alone than to be with you." I coldly said. Hindi siya sumagot, I know I hurt him pero walang katumbas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon but I don't need anyone's pity.

Nag ring ulit ang kanyang cellphone kaya napangisi ako. That girl really need him. 

"If you're just here because of pity, stop it you're just wasting your time. Pumunta ka sa kanya. This time I won't beg, hindi na ako magmamakaawang piliin mo ako. So go, I don't need you." Bumuntong hininga siya  pero wala akong pakialam. Nagulat ako nang hawakan n'ya ang kamay ko.

"I'll explain everything to you mahal but today's not the right time." He murmured. Ano pa ang e-explain n'ya? Another lie?

"No one is forcing you to stay here Gozu, if you want to go, then go. Just stop making excuses, I won't buy it." I said as a matter of fact.

I'm just so tired of dealing anyone's bullshit. Kung nandito lang sana ang anak ko maybe, I'll be okay. Maybe hindi ako masasaktan ng ganito because he's there, he is my strength. Tumayo si Gozu and I smiled. Alam ko kung saan siya pupunta.

"I'll be back mahal, I promise. Once everything is okay. Ipapaliwanag ko sa'yo ang lahat." He said and kissed my forehead bago naglakad paalis.

Dahan dahang tumulo ang luha ko. This is what I want right? Why the hell I am crying? Why am I even disappointed? Ilang beses na bang nangyari sa akin ito?

I know deep inside gusto kong piliin n'ya ako without begging for it. Pipiliin n'ya ako dahil mahal n'ya ako hindi dahil pinilit ko.

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Hit it dudes
-MissteriousGuile