IGNORED WIFE (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 37

"Papa paano mo 'to nagawa sa'kin? I trusted you. I can't believe you." Nasa harap ko siya, I am crying in front of him. Hindi kasi ako makapaniwala. He just stood there, frozen. Hindi siya makapag salita. He realized alam ko na ang lahat ng pinagagawa n'ya.

"I just wanted the best for you anak and that boy will torture you. Nilayo lang kita sa kanya." He said with a cold voice. Napaiyak ako sa inasta n'ya, paano n'ya nagawa sa'kin ito?

"Papa, do you remember? Wala ka noong sinilang ako, wa ka noong lumaki ako. It was all my mom's effort. Ngayon ka lang naman nandito, ngayong alam ko na kung paano mag desisyon sa sarili ko. You were never there, wala ka noong kailangan ko ng ama sa tabi ko. Who are you to decide kung sino ang gusto kong maging parte ng buhay ko!?" He's taken aback of what I said. Gusto kong ilabas lahat ng hinanakit ko sa kanya. A daughter who didn't had a father while growing up.

"I suffered too much! Growing up wala akong masasandalan, walang amang nagsasabi sa akin kung ano ang gagawin ko. You were never there when I was crying because of those stupid boys. You were never there! You had your own happy family! While I was in vain! Kung tutuusin parehas lang naman kayo ni Gozu eh kaya wala kang karapatan! You know how much I love him! I almost gave up kasi akala ko walang pakialam sa akin ang taong mahal na mahal ko! Akala ko!" Sigaw ko sa kanya habang dinuro siya. My head is hurting because of my constant crying, pulang pula na rin ang mukha ko pero wala akong pakialam. Pagod na pagod na ako sa kanilang lahat. They played with me.

"Hindi po ako laruan. Hayaan n'yo na po akong mag desisyon para sa sarili ko. I need a father papa, I don't need a protector!" Umiiyak kong saad. They are so cruel!

"Anak, I'm sorry. I know these past few weeks are really tough for you, your son's funeral and all those things happening in your life. You feel like you're stuck but you don't know how to get out. You felt like you're in a place where everybody is against you and you can't do something about it. I know how hard it is for you to ask for something from others, when you learned from an early age to not make a fuss, to put others first, to be admired for your independence, self-sufficiency and thoughtfulness. I'm sorry you had to go through it all anak. B-but I am trying to be better, I'm trying to be a better father for you. I did what I think that's the best for you during that time."  Napatahimik ako but my tears are still falling from my eyes.

"Anak I am sorry wala ako sa mga panahong kailangan mo ng ama. I'm sorry anak, k-kung alam ko lang." Umiling iling ako.

"N-no papa, you had your chance but you chose not to." Tumalikod ako at binuksan ang pinto. He keep on calling my name pero hindi ako lumingon. Sarado ang utak ko ngayon. Kailangan kong umalis. I need a fresh start. I don't want to be stuck with this heartache forever. Nakakapagod na.

I need to teach myself to be strong, to be alone because everyone will not stay. Am I a bad person for doing this?

I packed my things. Tinira ko lang ang mga gamit na hindi ko naman masyadong kinakailangan. I need a fresh start. I need to redeem myself.

Nang matapos na ako aalis na sana ako but Gozu appeared out of nowhere. Gulat na gulat ako sa bigla n'yang pag sulpot sa harap ko. His eyes focused on my luggage at nagsitulo na naman ang mga luha galing sa mga mata n'ya. No, no, please don't do this to me. Wag kang umiyak.

"No, mahal...i-iwan mo na naman ako? Mahal naman, I can't do this anymore. Wag mo naman akong iwan oh, ilang beses mo na akong iniwan mahal. Hindi ka pa ba naaawa sa akin? Mahal naman." Hinablot n'ya sa kamay ko ang dala ko at binuksan ito sabay tinaggal ang mga gamit doon.

Niyakap ko siya sa likod para pigilan sa ginagawa n'ya habang umiiyak.

"T-tama na Gozu please, hayaan...muna natin ang isa't isa. Kung tayo..tayo talaga." Humihikbi kong saad.

He's crying like a baby. Hindi ko rin kayang makita siyang ganito. Parehas kaming nahihirapan.

"Mahal, pag usapan natin 'to ng maayos mahal ko. Wag mo na akong iwan nagmamakaawa ako. Maaawa ka sa akin mahal." Humihikbi na rin siya. Umalis ako sa likod n'ya at hinawakan ang kanyang mukha. Dahan dahan kong pinunasan ang mga luhang nahulog galing sa mga mata n'ya.

"I wish  to have some peace of mind mahal. I know it's a hard time, but I know I will find peace. I am going to find this peace mostly by doing what I am doing right now, which is changing the way I respond to my suffering, I hope you will understand me mahal. Please let me go." Umiiyak kong saad habang pinagdidikit ang mga ulo namin.

We can't be like this forever, we need to start anew. I need to figure out something in myself.

Umiling iling siya tila hindi naiintindihan ang pinapahiwatig ko.

"We can start anew mahal, tayong dalawa magsimula...tayo ulit. Ang mahalaga magkasama tayo, hindi mo kailangang umalis. Hindi ka pa ba napapagod? Ilang beses ka nang umalis mahal. Tama na ang habulan please." Hinaplos ko ang mukha n'ya at pinahiran ulit ang mga luha sa kanyang mga mata.

"I don't wanna wake up in the morning having doubts about everything mahal. We need to grow individually. Everything about us is toxic, it will break us both mahal." I tried to explain it at ilang minuto ang dumaan dahan dahan siyang tumango.

"Babalik ka pa ba?" He asked. Dahan dahan akong tumango.

"Wait for me. I'll be back, I promise." I said while crying.

"I'll wait for you even if how long it will take. Hihintayin kita. Kung pagod na akong maghintay, I will just think of your promise mahal. Mahal na mahal kita." He cried. Tumango ako. Dahan dahang bumaba ang mukha n'ya at hinalikan ako.

A goodbye kiss  but also a promise of a new beginning.

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Hit it dudes
-MissteriousGuile