his muse ; reader imagines

Make-up ~

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader

Warnings: shouting profanities and insults at each other

~

Y/n knew Xavier hated fights, but sometimes they were unavoidable.

They were both shouting, insulting each other. However, it became one sided after Xavier mentioned one of her insecurities. Y/n immediately went silent, nodding her head and walking out of Xavier's room and back to hers.

This is where she was now, sitting at her desk. See, she also loved art. She mostly drew Xavier, sometimes little doodles, and sometimes actual portraits. That's what she was doing now, she got the drawing done, she just needed to do her shading. Her drawing came to a halt when she heard the door knock. She wasn't in the mood for any of her friends to come in, so she just kept drawing. Until she heard his voice. "Y/n? Can I come in? Please?" He asked, no, begged. She sighed, and the words he said shouted came back to her.

"You are being so irrational right now!" Xavier shouted, putting his pencil down and standing up from his desk. "Seriously! You sound crazy!" He shouted again. Y/n scoffed, "crazy? and how am I being irrational? You know how Bianca is! She always wants something to do with you Xavier. Even after you two broke up, and you moved on, she's still all over you. And you know it." She kept her voice mostly calm, trying to diffuse the tension she didn't mean to make. Xavier dragged his hands down his face, completely missing her point.

"Y/n. I've told you time, and time again. I'm over her. And yeah, you do sound crazy! You're making such a big deal over nothing. She wanted my help with some designs. That's all. You're so controlling sometimes, no wonder your exes left you. Don't project your anxiety and insecurities on me." He seethed, and y/n's heart dropped. Was she not good enough for him? She nodded silently and left the room, she didn't slam his door, she just closed it.

As soon as Xavier heard his door click shut quietly, everything he said came back to him like a slap in the face.

-

Y/n sighed shakily, putting her pencil down and fixing her hair in the mirror, trying to make it look like she wasn't that bothered by what he said.

She opened the door to see a distraught Xavier. He looked nervous, and ashamed. So ashamed that he couldn't look her in the eyes. She didn't let it get to her, and she just stepped aside so he could come in. His eyes snapped up to hers and he quickly walked in. Before y/n could say anything, Xavier beat her to it.

"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I know I had no right to say that to you and it crossed so many lines. You aren't crazy. You aren't irrational. I can't even begin to fathom the shit I said to you. I'm so sorry. Please believe me, I never meant to say anything to hurt you and I definitely didn't mean to completely ignore every single valid thing you said." He was rambling, his lip quivered as he talked. His breathing was heavy, and his eyes held nothing but pure panic. Y/n didn't know how to react, or what to say. But she couldn't let him fall into a full on panic attack, so she walked up to him and gingerly held his arms. "Come sit down, you're going to make yourself hyperventilate." She mumbled, sitting him down on her bed and sitting next to him. He noticed how she was about to speak, so he kept his mouth shut. She took a deep breath, before beginning to speak.

"I never thought you'd say the stuff you did to me today. You hurt me, and yeah you disregarded what I was trying to say. It just made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you. Like I wasn't doing enough. I don't mean to make you feel controlled, believe me I never want to make you feel like that. I just know how you told me Bianca was manipulating you. How horrible she treated you. I guess I just didn't want you to get yourself involved with that again, she broke you. Hurt you so many times. And the way you got so riled up about me talking about it today makes me feel like you aren't really over her. And I know you always say you are, and I don't know if this is my 'anxiety' or 'insecurity' shit but, yeah."

She stopped talking and looked at him, eyes widening at the sight of tears filled right to the brim of Xavier's eyes. Nothing holding them back from falling. All it took was one blink from him, and tears started to roll down his cheeks. "You're right about her. You were always right about her." He sniffled before continuing, "but believe me when I say this, I'm completely over her. 100%. I want nothing to do with her. You're the only person I will ever, ever need. I am so madly in love with you, I swear I fall more and more in love every single day. I don't deserve you, I know I don't. But I also don't know what I'd do without you. I need you, not her. It's always been you, and it always will be you." He looked back down at his lap, waiting for her next words. However, he didn't get any. He looked up at her, and saw her sitting against the headboard. His eyebrows furrowed, dread filling his stomach. Until she patted the spot next to her.  He didn't waste any time in moving up the bed to the spot she motioned for him to sit at.

As soon as he sat there, he leaned his head on her shoulder, his tears dripping onto her uniform. "Don't cry, I forgive you. Okay? I trust you more than anyone, I believe you. I know you're over her." Y/n comforted, but Xavier shook his head. "I said horrible things to you today, y/n. Words you never deserved to hear. I don't think I'll ever stop feeling guilty for that. Serves me right for saying it in the first place." He said oddly quietly, his voice slightly hoarse from crying. He wrapped an arm around her stomach and moved his head to the crook of her neck. "There's nothing wrong with you, y/n. Your exes didn't deserve you and neither do I. I didn't mean what I said to you earlier. I don't even have any excuse for blowing up on you like that. It was uncalled for, and I can promise you it won't happen again." He promised, and felt some relief when she wrapped her arms around him, placing a light kiss on his head. "I know. We're okay now, I swear." They lay like that for a while, until she remembered the drawing she was doing earlier. She smiled, "I did something for you." She said, standing up from the bed and getting the drawing she did. She sat back down and handed it to him, his shaky hands held it and for the first time that night, he smiled.

"You're so talented. I love every single drawing you do of me. They're all so detailed, thank you." He beamed and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She nodded in appreciation and lay back down on the bed, as did Xavier. He would never stop apologising, no matter how many times y/n said he was forgiven.

-

It was rolling around 10pm now, and they were still in the position they were at 8pm. They were both dozing off, with their hearts full.

"I love you, so much." Xavier whispered in the dimly lit room, to a half asleep y/n. "I'll always love you more." She whispered back, and lazily kissed his forehead.

They didn't care for the rules of boys and girls not being allowed in each other's rooms, they never have.

So with that, they both drifted into a comfortable sleep. Both glad that they sorted things out.