Tears Of London

Close people

JO

I'm in my room.
I screamed a lot. Too much. Now, my cheeks are turning red. And my mascara is fucked up. I hate crying of rage.
Suddenly, I hear the toilets' door closing, so I wipe off the mascara under my eyes and dry my tears fastly.
I was going to get out of my room, when I saw Erin walking past my door.
Wait. ERIN ?!
He probably saw me as well, because he backs up and ends up in my room.
- Jo ? What are you doing here ?
- I'm in my house, actually. And you ? It's a private property.
Erin closes the door.
- Let this door open, Erin. I want everybody to hear me when I'll scream.
- I swear you don't have to. I'm just looking for my friend.
- Why is your friend in my house ?
- Because Peter told us he hid some joints in his room.
- Wait. You know my brother ?
His eyes get bigger and round.
- Oh, okay. You're Pete's sister.
I suddenly hear big footsteps from the corridor.
- Who is it ? I wonder, approaching the door.
- Josh. The friend I was talking about. Don't worry, we're living.
- Oh. So you found the joints ?
- I think so.
I nod with no smile. Abruptly, Erin looks curious :
- Did you cry ? he asks me softly.
- Yes. I am weak and whining. Happy ?
He sits on the corner of my bed.
Seeing him in my room makes me feel something weird.
- Tell me the truth, he insists.
- Unlucky, it is the truth.
- The truth is that you cried because you're weak and whining ?
- Yes. I always cry for no reason.
He makes a little smile that makes me melt. I feel like he is not judging me, but trying to understand me, for once. And that feels great.
- Me too, he says.
I don't know if what he is asserting is true, but it makes me feel better, for an unknown reason.
- What is your real name ? Erin suddenly asks. « Jo » isn't just a nickname ?
- Yes, it is, I admit. But my real name is top secret. Only close people know it.
He stares at me and says :
- It's Josephine, right ?
- Who told you ?
- It's quite logic. Jo for Josephine. Nothing could be easier to guess.
- Do you think it's ugly ?
We look at eachother silently.
- I'm not really in a position to criticise your name, he admits.
- It's true, « Erin » is not a common name for a boy.
I finally find the courage to sit next to him, on the bed. And God knows how much it's hard for me to be sociable.
But tonight, sitting next to Erin feels easier than next to anybody.
- I actually like « Erin », I say. It's easy to carry compared to « Josephine ».
I exagerate my last word to make it more theatral.
- Probably. But I kinda like « Josephine », though.
I smile.
What is happening ?
I feel good. Too much good than I should. And I suddenly feel guilty for it. It is not fair for Jared.
- You should go, I sadly say without looking at him. We're in the middle of a family dinner.
- Oh, yes.
And, with no more words, Erin left as he came.