Tears Of London

The room

JO

« Where ? », I want to ask Erin.
But I don't.
Doing this...it probably won't be cool. So I follow him quietly.
We cross the living room - much too crowded for its surface, by the way – and we pass by a group of boys laughing out loud, just before entering a corridor. It is narrow and dark. Erin turns on the light, that reveals a couple of people kissing languidly. We quickly dodge them, then Erin opens a door by my left.
He enters first in the room...which seems to be a bedroom. Or a guest room, maybe.
It is small and tight, without any furniture. No shelf. No bed. Neither pillow, even. Nor coverage.
There is nothing in this room but a mattress and a small desk.
- Where are we ? I ask, without moving from where I am.
Erin has his back to me. So he can't see my grimace.
-  That's my room.
First, I thought he was kidding, but now he turns back to me, I understand that he is saying the truth.
He's living like a homeless.
- Oh, I didn't know there were people living here. I thought this house was...a kind of night club.
- Oh, he answers simply, without emotion.
Here is the impassive Erin. The Wall Man is back.
Now, he is staring at me confusedly. I feel like he wants to ask me something.
- You want to leave the door open ?
I'll be more confident if he doesn't close it.
By the way...why exactly does he want to close the door ? I don't like what is happening right now.
- Whatever, I answer though.
With disappointment, I watch him closing the door. I should have told him to let it open. I'm not at ease when it comes to be alone with a stranger, in a closed room. The situation is embarrassing, now.
- Um...where is your bed, then ? I ask, to break the silence.
He cannot sleep on this horrible mattress, does he ?
- On the floor, he says, showing me the matt.
- Oh, well.
So he does.
- You want to do it elsewhere ?
I stay quiet for a minute, until I dare asking :
- Do what ?
This can't be what I'm thinking of. Maybe I heard wrong. I probably misunderstood what he said.
That's what I thought, before I saw what he was holding. A condom he freshly took out of his desk. Simply.
- Sex ? he answers with natural.
Ouch. I know it was predictable. I know I should have expected it to end like this. I know I was dumb, thinking Erin could be simply kind and interesting.
This guy is just a horny animal.
Cool. I learnt a lot of things today.
- What the hell... are you serious ?! I exclaim, enraged.
- What ?
- Wow.
- What ? he repeats, with an innocent face that annoys me.
- Sex ? Seriously ?!
- How do you want me to call that ?
- D...don't call that at all. With any name.
- I don't understand.
He is starting to run me MAD. Actually, I even don't know why I am that disappointed. After all, I never really liked him.
- What made you think I wanted to have sex with you ?!
- You followed me in my room and told me I could close the door.
- That doesn't mean anything, Erin !
Suddenly, his facial expression change. He looks questioned, confused. If only you could see his face at this moment.
- I probably should have hit the gas pedal harder...I whisper, loud enough so he would hear me (I'm going too far, am I ?).
- Oh.
I first thought he was upset. Like I would have liked. His ego deserves to be broken. Who made him think I wanted to have sex with him ?
But instead, Erin laughs. It is soft. Clear. Melodious.
Why is he laughing ?
- So you're the weird girl who hit me last week. I just realised.
Weird ?
- Who did you think I was ? I ask.
- Someone who wanted to fuck.
Oh ! He only mistook me...with a horny girl ?
There is a moment of silence, during which we look at each other without saying anything. But, contrary to what you might think, it is not awkward. For me, at least. He's a little less ugly when he's smiling, I notice.
I raise my head to see his face.
- Um...goodbye... ? Erin says with no humour, what makes me laugh.
- Are you really trying to kick me out ?
- I'm definitely kicking you out.
- Alright. It's always a pleasure, spending time with you.
He opens the door for me, with a melodramatic gesture.
- Same, he says with an ounce of irony.
I get out of the room, thinking about what I could tell him to say « goodbye » and seem cool at the same time. A simple « goodbye » is maybe too corny. But saying « goodnight » is probably too friendly. What about a casual « bye » ? Nah...a bit too casual...
But before I make a choice, Erin shuts the door on me. Without saying any of the « goodbyes » I expected. I'm like an idiot, alone, in the middle of the corridor.
And all I can say is :
- I'm not fucking weird.
But it was so low that I even didn't hear myself.