Tears Of London

Falling again

JO

It is Wednesday afternoon when I receive a call from Aliya, just after class.
- Girl !! I NEED YOU TO COME RIGHT NOW !
I stop walking, anxious about what she'll tell me. Is Erin okay ? Is he doing an overdose ?
- Why ? What happened ?
- I didn't see you the whole last week. I miss you !
- Oh, I miss you too ! I can come by the Hutt, I'm on the way to my apartment.
- Awesome. You missed a lot of things, darling.

*

The door is already open, so I come in. The Hutt is emptier than usually.
I find Aliya in the kitchen table, near Josh, a member of the Crew I met two months ago. The one who thought I was a prostitute.
We hug, I salute Josh (who, in spite of everything, seems nice).
- Follow me, we'll be better off in my room, Aliya asserts by taking my hand. Here, the walls have ears.
Aliya gives Josh an accusing look, smiling.
We get through the corridor - the same who gives to Erin's bedroom.
We stop by his door, but he can't see us, can't hear us. He is sat at his desk, with an open computer connected to his headphones by a cable.
I bet he is making a new song.
We keep walking until we arrive at Aliya's bedroom. A room in blue tones. The prettiest room in this house. She has hung around thirty small yellow lights all over her walls. Her bed depicts a constellation painting, her mirror is decorated with blue lights and beautiful fake plants.
- I love your room, it's so pretty, I say by coming in.
- I know, I made it by myself, as the boys didn't wanna help me.
I sit on her bed, one of the most comfortable ones I ever slept in.
- Are you ready ? Aliya asks. Because I have a lot to tell you.
My friend and I talk until night, from her sexuality, to her fight with a member of the Crew who stole her last piece of mac&cheese in the fridge, to her recent sex story with a guy who "missed the hole".
- I don't get it, I admit. You just told me you were lesbian, then why did you...?
She cuts me off before I ended my sentence.
- For science, Jo. I do it for science.
We laugh and I deduce she's only trying new things.
Around 18:00 pm, she confesses she has something planned with a girl she likes, at the bar. And that she has to go. She tells me I can sleep in her room if I'm not brave enough to go home, but I refuse politely. She leaves after giving me a fast kiss on the cheek.
I stay alone several minutes, until I decide to go home. I walk through the corridor and arrives at Erin's bedroom's door. He didn't move, still on his chair, concentrate.
I knock on the door, loud enough for him to hear me with his headphones on.
He pauses what he was doing to turn around. He looks at me with a surprised gaze.
- Angel, I didn't expect to see you.
- I was with Aliya. I just wanted to say hi.
He puts his headphones on his desk, still looking at me.
- Hi, he said, to tease me.
- Hi, I say in turn.
I give a look at his computer while saying :
- You're making a new song ?
Erin smiles at me as I walk through his room to come closer.
- For the moment it's just an instrumental. I've started writing the lyrics, but I'm not too inspired.
- Can I hear it ?
- Course, take it.
He gives me the headphones that I install on my ears. He presses "play" during one second and pauses instantly.
- Is the sound's level okay ?
- Yes, perfect.
Then, he puts the music on once and for all.
The melody starts with gentle, haunting church choirs. Then, the bass arrives and so do the drums, giving a slow but catchy rhythm that makes me want to dance my head from left to right. I also hear piano far behind. I already love that song.
When the instrumental finished, I took off the headphones, speechless, mouth half open.
- That, Erin, that is pure genius.
Erin smiles at my comment. He looks proud.
- Glad you like it, he simply says.
- You said you started to write the lyrics ?
- Yes, only a few.
- Can I see it ? Maybe I could help you to get inspired ?
Erin grabs a paper that was lying on the desk.
- I could play the instrumental and sing it, it would be better ?
- Yes, I think too.
He then restarts the instrumental, but without the headphones, so we could both listen to it. He accompanies it with his angelic voice when the intro ends.

"Cause all I see are wings
I can see your wings
But I know what I am
And the life I live"

I look at him singing, half reading his paper. His lips are smooth, used to pronounce these words. He already knows it by heart.

"The life I live
And even though I sin,
We all want to live
But I know time will tell if we're meant for this
If we're meant for this
And if we're not"

He abruptly interrupts himself.
- That's it, he says. I don't know what to say after that. I've been stuck on this for hours.
- That was so beautiful, I whisper, still mesmerised by the show he gave me.
I take a breath, take his paper in my hand.
In my head I replay the last verse over and over again. I remember myself the rhythm and intonation Erin have used when singing while singing it in my turn, low.
The only sentence that comes to my mind is :
- I hope you'll find somebody, I sing low. I hope you'll find somebody. I hope you'll find somebody. I hope you'll find...
Erin's voice sticks to mine while he sings :
- Somebody to love.
I see excitation burning in his eyes, his lips stretch to a beautiful smile.
- That. I loved that.
He immediately takes time to write it on his paper.
- That'll be the chorus, he declares. I love it.
He's still laughing for joy when he hugs me. A friendly hug that was painful.
I wonder what it's like to be loved by him.
- Thank you.